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Turtle & Canary; Monday [04/29].

Summer was at the main register today, for the most part, though her attention was almost entirely on her laptop, frowning and rubbing her chin a little as she found herself pretty much balls-deep in some budgeting. Even if she were to find a ship that was cheap as dirt, it would still be a clunker, there'd still be the cost of parts, and she had enough, but it was going to be a huge dip in what she'd saved up, and, God, money was so stupid, budgeting for a ship and retail space in space really highlighted that, but she had to remind herself that currency and credits made way more sense than paying for everything with pills, and it was arguably still a step-up from just raiding the land and taking everything and/or fighting in a big giant ~~Thunder~~ Blood Dome for resources.

...or glitter. If only she could pay for things in glitter, she realized, glancing back at the tower of boxes of the stuff from the order she'd put in to prepare for newbie week.

And then she glanced at Apu, and the worried look on his face as he, too, glanced at them.

"...what?" she asked. "You do think we ordered enough, right?"

Apu's eyes climbed up...and up...and up the tower of boxes.

"We shall see," he said.

Today's Squishy Flavors
Grape
Shrimp Scampi
Red

Today's Jello Flavor
Jello with Shrimp Frosting

Yes. You read that right.

Shrimp frosting.

Turtle & Canary is open!

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"Leavin' aside the weirdness of the flavour…," Iris said, setting a basket of groceries on the counter. "Why would anyone think it'd be a good idea to put frosting on a thing whose whole selling point is how much it wiggles?"

How would that even work?

"Hey."

"I've found it's best not to questions these sorts of things," Summer offered beatificly, "but merely to just embrace them."

Then that beaitific smile turned into a snort.

"Hey, Iris. Long time, no see." She figured...hoped, really, all things considered...that it wouldn't be too much longer after Zack got back that she'd be seeing Iris again, too. "Can I interest you in a piece? Shrip frosting is an experience not to be missed."

"It's been a… while, I guess?" She shrugged a little. One set of memories had never even met Summer, which Iris wasn't sure counted in any sense as adding to the 'while'.

She grinned.

"But with a response like that, I got to ask: have you tried it?" Iris wondered. "Or would I be bein' your lab rat?"

Yeahhh. A 'while' was definitely...a word for it, any which way you looked at it.

"Me?" Summer asked, almost blithely, already going to lift the cloche off the display to slice Iris piece. She didn't get many people actually coming in for the jello, she wasn't wasting any opportunity. "Oh, no. I wouldn't want to deprive any of my customers of even a morsel of a treat like this."

It was bad enough what most of these creations did to her kitchen without going as far as actually eating the stuff.

"That fills me with the opposite of confidence," Iris noted, leaning against the counter and making no move to, you know, actually stop Summer from getting her a slice. "What flavour is the Jello itself?"

This was going to end poorly, but now she was curious.

"It'd be too easy to actually be a flavour that works with shrimp, right?"

"The jello itself is unflavored," Summer explained, plopping a plastic fork right into the piece she'd set onto a small plate, "but it's got olives, cream cheese, celery, mayo..."

All the most delicious things you think of when you think jello. Summer held the plate out, moving it slightly.

"And see? Still wiggles, even with the..." Even she had trouble actually calling it that and she made it, "frosting."

Iris made no attempt to reach for that plate.

"… What did Jello ever do to you?" Iris asked, appalled and impressed in about equal measures.

Edited 2019-04-29 17:11 (UTC)

"I'll have you know," Summer stated, with a tone of mild offence that clearly didn't actually carry any weight, "that this is a traditional recipe handed down through generations from my ancestors."

Suburbia totally counted as a culture.

She grinned though, setting the plate down on the counter (with a good amount of jiggle in it, too), though she may have nudged it slightly forward after she did. "I get it, though," she said. "This stuff can be a pretty hard sell to most people here."

"I feel like," Iris said, doubtfully picking up the fork and poking at the... thing, "that you ought to get another fork out and suffer with me. That's the only way we can both win here, unless we both agree to not eat it."

But given that a slice had already been cut and plated...

Summer looked almost apologetic as she laughed, shaking her head a little. "Nah," she said. "You go in, you're on your own. Smart drug dealers don't do their own drugs; I don't eat my own jello. But don't worry if you're not feeling brave enough. I've got a great human-shaped garbage disposal for leftovers that'll eat just about anything."

Except booze. And coffee. And chocolate now, too, apparently.

"I make way better drugs than you do," Iris noted, stabbing the jello with her fork and shoving it back at Summer with a laugh. "And it's cruel to make someone else eat that, when I won't, but since you're crueler than me in this case, I'm opting for that route."

A beat.

"Human-shaped garbage disposal, though... I hope that ain't some poor sucker you might be dating?"

Because, Summer, that would be horrifying.

Horrifying in so, so many ways, Iris. Which made it another good reason why Summer shouldn't have eaten any of the jello, because then she would have straight up choked on it.

"Oh, God, no," she said, immediately, firmly, because that was territory never to be explored, not even for a fraction of a second. "Definitely not anyone I'm dating. He's just a friend. But don't worry; he's super into it."

Wrong, Summer. That sounded so, so, so wrong.

"I'm not really that into dating right now anyway," Summer added with a shrug. "A little too busy trying to build up the cornerstones of my future intergalactic jello enterprise, really."

And maybe, just maybe, if she kept telling herself that, it might actually be true one of these days!

"If you say so," Iris said doubtfully. Because, well, really. Was she expected to believe that when the offering today was shrimp-frosted jell-o? "So if you're not dating this guy, who is super into this, are you sure he isn't into you?"

Because... there had to be a reason more than 'he enjoyed torturing himself', right?

Oddly enough, though that was not the reason, that seemed fairly accurate about him in general.

"Yes," said Summer, immediately, even more emphatically, without even needing a second to think about it. "I can assure you, with the utmost confidence, that he is not into me, not even a little, or so help me, if I'm wrong on that, I will literally eat this entire jello. The whole. Goddamn. Thing."

In case you needed to really know how wrong that whole concept was, Iris: that's how wrong.

"I mean, he is my best friend and all, but, no. Just..." She allowed herself to maybe consider it, got a whole half-a-second into it, and then promptly retreated. "No."

Edited 2019-04-29 22:15 (UTC)

"That's a lot of 'no'," Iris said, having to laugh. "Okay, okay, so he's not into you and he's... really into your creations."

She wasn't sure what to make of that.

"I don't know that I'd make that sacrifice for a friend," she mused. "Not just because it existed and they wanted me to try it."

To save a life, sure, that was different.

"I honestly think that he genuinely actually enjoys most of it," Summer admitted, and she shrugged a little. "Most people in his universe seem to; it always goes over well when I bring samples there. Kind of the whole reason I'm thinking of opening up shop out there, after all."

It wasn't the only reason, of course, but she figured it wouldn't hurt to start leaning hard into that narrative, even if everyone here knew what was up. Lies tended to get easier the longer they had to traipse around as truth.

"Of course," she added, "alternate theory is just that he has absolutely no taste buds, except in weirdly specific cases."

Do not even get her started on caf.

"I'd accept that reasoning in, like, a heartbeat."

"See, my heart says it's his taste buds that are at fault, but my mind says, if other people enjoy it, maybe it really is a multiverse thing."

Iris looked doubtfully at the... treat...

"In which case I guess maybe a shop might work." Which was horrifying. "I have to know if he's going to like this. I need an update after he tries it, Summer."

"I'll be sure to get a full-fledged report," Summer said with a grin, "though I'm pretty sure it'll pretty much just boil down to..." Here, she cleared her throat a little, rolled her shoulders, to help settle into her best imitation of Kana, which involved not much more than a shrug and a drawl of, "'Not bad. Didn't kill me. Might as well go for seconds. Don't want to just let it go to waste.'"

Iris shuddered.

"Seconds of that?" Just no. Nope, nope, nope. "And it should probably, almost definitely, kill him."

She was pretty sure it would kill her.

"Oh," said Summer, almost gravely, "you would be astonished by the things I've been able to get that man to put into his mouth with him not even batting an eye. Though I will admit...this one is pretty up there. Some real, truly awful gourmet shit. If it goes over well, I might have to make shrimp frosting a regular menu staple, really."

"Will you be offended if I don't visit your store if that's the case?" Iris wondered idly. "At least, if I visit, I won't be eating nothing that you ain't willing to eat."

Which might still have downsides to it, but it would stop her from having to eat... some things.

"Not in the slightest," Summer assured her with confidence. "I wouldn't blame you, and it's not going to help that the store's going to be in an entirely different universe in a galaxy far, far away." Her smile went a little crooked. "Not that that prevents most people from still visiting, but I honestly wouldn't expect anyone to go out of their way."

It...would sure be nice, though.

"Nah, nah, I'd probably still visit to see you," Iris said easily. "Ain't like travel is that hard, if Portalocity cooperates."

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Turtle & Canary; Monday [04/29].

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