Caritas, Friday Evening

[built_fjord_tough]

Fjord's only real regret about working at Caritas was that generally he was expected to be on his best behavior. Fortunately, he'd gotten a lot of his anxiety about this weekend out of his system yesterday while swinging a hammer, which meant today he was just sort of flat about this whole visitors from off the island thing. Not that he was dreading meeting anybody's guests (although, yes, he sort of was that too), but the knowledge that he wouldn't have anybody here to visit him rubbed at him strangely.

It had been a while since the days he had nobody he could at least hope for a check-in from. Sure, he had friends on the island, but coming to the bar for a drink on a Friday night hardly counted as going out of their way for his sake. And he wasn't going to let himself even flirt with the thought that Vandran might come strolling through that door to clap him on the shoulder and tell him that he better be reaching to pour him a drink or something. Hell, at this point he'd even take Jester, and he'd only known Jester for a week or so before the island had grabbed him.

Ah well. Potentially serving drinks to other people's guests would have to do.

... Not yours, Tino.

[OOC: Open!]

Comments

[built_fjord_tough]

"There's the hope," Fjord agreed. "If nothin' else, I can give him more ideas for that class of his. You know, that poor bastard's never had to knock weevils outta hardtack. What kind of sailor's never knocked weevils outta hardtack before?"

The kind with a fridge, Fjord.

[notallbluemonks]

"The kind that doesn't have to live off hardtack?" Beau said dryly, and look, that was super tactful for her. "Not like you have any pointers to give him on the being-a-pirate part of it, anyway."

[built_fjord_tough]

"Nah," Fjord agreed. "Anyone taking this class looking to do some serious piracy is probably shit outta luck anyhow. All the pointers I'd have to give him would probably end up in kids getting stabbed in the ass anyway."

Because they were being pirates.

[notallbluemonks]

"I --" Beau shook her head. "I was about to say I don't think the school board would be into that idea, but then I realized, Fandom school board, so who the fuck knows?"

[built_fjord_tough]

"It is a school board that suckered some guy into teaching a class about piracy in the first place," Fjord agreed. "Gods know what the hell else they'll let a teacher get away with around here."

Which, it should be noted, was not incentive enough for Fjord to ever want to teach again.

[notallbluemonks]

“They let you teach,” Beau added like the asshole she absolutely was sometimes. “Not doing that again, though?”

[built_fjord_tough]

"They're fuckin' cracked," Fjord countered easily. "I don't have any plans to teach again, anyway. I'm not exactly the most nurturing potential teacher on the island."

He'd been a disaster as a parent, too!

[notallbluemonks]

“I got roped into being, like, a punching bag for someone’s class the other week,” Beau said with a shrug, like she hadn’t been the one to initiate that entire standoff. “Which is as close as I’m ever getting to teaching. Ever. Nobody needs that shit.”

[built_fjord_tough]

"That's maybe the smartest shit I've ever heard anybody say on this island," Fjord informed her with a nod. "Students are fucking menaces, Beau. Menaces."

He'd liked his. They were good kids.

But these things had to be said anyway.

[notallbluemonks]

“Yeah,” Beau said with a wry smirk, “believe me, I’m aware of that.”

Since she was probably a cautionary tale told to all the fledgling monks at the Archive now.

Long before she’d manage to get herself banned from multiple libraries across Wildemount in less than an hour, even.

[built_fjord_tough]

"Well, then I think you'll do just fine," Fjord decided. "Better than me. I went back for seconds."

What was even the matter with him, thinking he'd get through a round two unscathed?

[notallbluemonks]

“I thought you did okay,” Beau told him. “Like, I didn’t hear about anyone complaining about your classes. Shit, you put up with me and my bullshit just fine.”

Which did not mean either of you at present ought to be trusted with impressionable young minds.

[built_fjord_tough]

Or just... people with minds in general, really.

They were disasters.

"Well, that is reassuring," Fjord admitted after a moment. "Though you're a friend, not exactly a student."

Except for those occasional 'how to interact with people' lessons, maybe.

"I don't mind your bullshit any."

[notallbluemonks]

Beau just laughed wryly and gave him a slightly uncomprehending look. How multiple people around here tolerated her bullshit was an ongoing mystery.

“Give it time,” she said, not quite as casually as she tried to make it sound.

[built_fjord_tough]

"Got all the time in the world," Fjord replied with a shrug.

Really, though, if anybody here ought to be worried about people getting tired of their bullshit, he didn't figure it was Beau.

"So far, so good, though."

[notallbluemonks]

“Since I haven’t figured out how to get you home yet,” Beau grumbled. “I think Portalocity is just blocking my calls now.”

Couldn’t imagine why, really.

[built_fjord_tough]

"Don't know what it is with those gnomes," Fjord noted. "They don't seem to be the problem solvers you'd think a bunch'a twerps with access to a whole multiverse ought to be."

He shook his head. "Maybe takin' one by the ankles and shaking will help."

This was a terrible plan.

[notallbluemonks]

Of course it was, so of course Beau was on board with it.

"You hold them up by the ankles, I tell them they're getting used as a speed bag until they work it out? I do some pretty badass knuckle cracking."

Beau. Fjord. No.

[built_fjord_tough]

"Might be the first time they actually listen to either of us," Fjord mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

Yeah, there was no way this could possibly go wrong for them, right?

[notallbluemonks]

Not even a little bit!

“Dude, we should fuckin’ do it,” Beau said, and drained the last of her beer so she could slam the mug down on the bar for emphasis. "Hey Tino, can I get a refill here?"

Yeah, this was clearly the smarter option than taking up on Karolina's offer to help them. Clearly.

[built_fjord_tough]

They probably could've been back in Wildemount by now if either of them had taken the smart option.

"It'd be the last time one of those little assholes tells us that they're forwarding our queries on to their customer service management professionals, anyway."

Really, it was a wonder Fjord hadn't tried shaking one of them already.

[notallbluemonks]

Please. Their modus operandi was never going to be taking the smart option.

"Aw, man. I never fucking want to hear that again,” Beau grumbled.

She probably would have threatened, intimidated, or tried to extort one of the gnomes by now if she had any personal drive to get back to Wildemount.

[built_fjord_tough]

"It's a piss-off," Fjord agreed. "So, next time one of them says the word 'forward,' I grab and you threaten?"

Foolproof. Plan.

[notallbluemonks]

“Hell yeah,” Beau said with a shit-eating grin that was probably making about five Cobalt Soul monks facepalm right now. “Or, another option: blackmail.”

Your criminal background was showing there, Beauregard.

[built_fjord_tough]

"Huh," Fjord said, blinking. "You got dirt on any of 'em?"

Because that was a tempting suggestion just because he didn't.