Mauvaise Chance Apartments, Monday Afternoon

[hatesparadise]

So, okay. Living at the hotel wasn't feasible if this thing went on longer than it already had. Duke might gave had the right of that.

Which was why Danny was trying one of the apartment buildings on island to see if they did short term rentals. Or that had been the plan before finding only a thin layer of dust at the front desk.

Creepy.

And when he got into the office, he was hit with a weird boobie trap that was just a note and some confetti that just read:

Congrats, you now own an apartment complex! And by 'congrats' I mean 'no take backs, sucker'

This was all Crocker's fault somehow.

(open sure!)

Comments

[long_memory]

Silver had realized that living in a hotel wasn't a sustainable way of living way before Danny, it seemed. He made money as a bartender but he didn't make that much money. So he decided to do things The Right Way and get a place like an upstanding citizen.

Stealing a place to live wasn't quite his brand of thievery anyway.

"What are you doing here?"

[hatesparadise]

Look, Danny was used to some real shitholes to live in. Also, the O'ahu housing market was insane.

"Apparently running the place," he sighed, brushing confetti off his shirt.

[long_memory]

"I thought you worked for law enforcement?" What with the threats of arresting him and all.

[hatesparadise]

"I do," Danny insisted, tossing his hands up like the good Jersey boy he was. "I was just trying to find a place to stay when I got hit with a note saying I own the place now."

This could have been you, Silver. Business owner.

[long_memory]

"Good thing I came in here after you then," he said with a smile. "Congratulations."

[hatesparadise]

"Of course," he muttered, looking around. "There's gotta be a record book somewhere, right?"

Sure as hell wasn't a computer. Derek owned this place once!

[long_memory]

"I should hope so," he said, making a halfhearted attempt at trying to look. "And when you find it, see if there's an empty place for me."

[hatesparadise]

Gee, thanks, Silver.

Danny managed to find the book after a search. "Okay, how about... Apartment 2." Sounded good, right?

[long_memory]

"That's fine. As long as it has running water I'll be satisfied." Oh look who was a fancy 21st century boy now with his running water demands.

[hatesparadise]

Wasn't he just!

"Pretty sure that's a given," Danny replied dryly as he marked down the place as taken and hunted for keys to give him.

[long_memory]

"You've been spoiled," Silver joked. "Running water is a luxury of the highest order."

[hatesparadise]

Danny handed over the key to him. "I woulda said a working sewer system might be better, honestly."

[long_memory]

"You spend enough time at sea with two hundred other men and you take what luxuries you can get," he said, taking the keys. "Thank you."

[hatesparadise]

"No problem. I'll pass on most things naval adjacent," Danny assured him.

[long_memory]

"I have to ask--do you know anything about being a landlord?" he asked.

You gave a pirate an apartment without a credit check or anything, Danny.

[hatesparadise]

Yeah, but he was a nice pirate. Also, what credit score?

"Not as such, no."

[long_memory]

"It can't be that hard, can it?," he said, reaching over to brush off some more confetti off Danny. "You just have to make sure everybody pays rent and nothing catches on fire, right?"

[hatesparadise]

It was everywhere and it was rainbow colored. His poor, poor poofy hair.

"The second part is already my job," Danny said, sort of looking at this in a better light. Just wait until he saw the apartment ready for him on the main floor! It had a bar.

[long_memory]

"See? You'll do fine," Silver said. "I don't know a thing about sailing and I'm still a quartermaster; anything is possible."

[hatesparadise]

"Okay, how?" It sounded like an important job on a ship.

[long_memory]

"I suppose they voted me quartermaster because they were very grateful after I got my leg hacked off in order to protect them." Likability and self-sacrifice more than made up for knowing how to sail, apparently.

[hatesparadise]

Danny just had to glance down at the leg in question. "Okay, that sounds reasonable."

He considered it for a moment longer.

"There's an elevator, just so you know."

[long_memory]

Silver smiled. "Thank god for that. Stairs are the enemy."

If he had been at all worried about losing his physique due to the easy bartender life it was unwarranted due to the hard workout of just managing to get anywhere at all on this godforsaken island.

[hatesparadise]

The stairs were what kept everyone here in shape!

"You're tellin' me," Danny said, making a face. "It's like this place wants to make it as difficult as possible to get around."

[long_memory]

"It is very cruel," he agreed. "I expected more from the 21st century in that regard."

[hatesparadise]

"Trust me, none of this," he said, gesturing broadly to, well, everything. "Is normal for the 21st century. None of it."

[long_memory]

"So you're saying if I ever leave this island and go to the mainland I'm going to be confused all over again?" he asked.

Also he'd probably be arrested for vagrancy.

[hatesparadise]

"Maybe don't go without an escort," Danny said after a long pause of consideration.

Jaskier didn't count.