Dite's Decadent Delights | Wednesday

[begmetwice]

Given that Halloween was this coming weekend, Irene felt that it was probably best to try to move the Halloween-specific inventory. So, while the pumpkin spice-flavored lube could stay (that, she supposed, extended through Thanksgiving, right? Pumpkin pie? Whatever, she'd plead cultural ignorance if wrong), she was working to move the monster-themed sex toys out near the front, though she did keep them somewhat shielded by her display of costumes. (Which, granted, verged on the naughtier side, as well, but this was a sex shop, so Irene did not know what you expected.)

[those links are all very NSFW and, like, I learned a lot about Etsy today. open and OCD-free!]

Comments

[alwaysonguard]

It had been a busy day already for Dwight, but he did have a lot he was still trying to catch up on after the school trip, the masquerade party, and everything else going on.

Dwight had finished all his handwavey errands and knew it wouldn't be right to be this close and not stop by, just for a moment, to see Irene.

He had to pause for a moment though as he eyed the rather conspicuous costume display before shaking his head and walking in.

[begmetwice]

"I'm not sure that one comes in your size," Irene teased from where she was going over an inventory list, having caught Dwight's pause at the costumes. She didn't know what he'd been looking at, of course, but she knew what she had out there, and sometimes the obvious, easy joke was still the right one to make. "All right, Dwight?"

[alwaysonguard]

"Irene" he said with a slight smile and laugh, really hoping he wasn't as flushed as he felt just then. "Doing pretty good. And you? Business picking up any ahead of the holidays?"

[begmetwice]

"Not especially, but I always see more traffic once it gets good and cold," Irene noted with a wink. "And after last weekend, I'm perfectly content to have a quiet Halloween. Pass out candy to the...what, three children who live here, watch a spooky movie with a glass of wine, call it a night."

[alwaysonguard]

"Yeah there is a lot to be said about a quiet weekend" Dwight agreed. "I'm debating checking out the carnival this weekend and maybe signing up for a stint in the dunking booth or something. Have some fun and help raise some money for the school. Dunking booth should be fun and fairly safe."

(which spoiler, it would not be the dunking booth he ended up in mwahahaha)

[begmetwice]

"I did the pie one when I was a teacher," Irene shared, smiling. "You can imagine how well that went over."

It had gone over fabulously. And at least Irene had been forewarned and thus hadn't had to sacrifice any Armani or Versace or McQueen.

[alwaysonguard]

"I can imagine. I've done my fair share of carnivals and fund raisers over the years. Most have been a lot of fun."

Ya know, so long as the mascot didn't try to come to life and kill everyone or all of Haven didn't suffer from some terrible Trouble right in the middle of things.

"Anyways, the real reason I came over was to check on the fixture and everything. Wanted make sure everything was still ok here at the shop."

[begmetwice]

"Oh, are you not looking for Halloween apparel and goodies yourself?" Irene asked innocently. "Everything here is wonderful, though I'm still considering a remodel."

Partly because Irene had money to burn and the inclination to spend it, but also because Dwight was exactly the sort of person she thought should spend more time in sex-positive spaces.

[alwaysonguard]

"Halloween costume yes, but I don't think any of those" he said with a smirk and a nod towards the costume rack "will work for the Monster Ball this weekend. Otherwise...." Dwight said as he rubbed the back of his head slightly. "I mean... about the other thing.... I....."

Yeah ok this was as good an idea as he had figured it would be... and was going just as well too.

[begmetwice]

"Oh, are you here for goodies?" Irene asked, actually shifting that teasing tone out of her voice in favor of something a little gentler. "Did you have anything in mind?"

Even vague gestures and stammering would point her in a direction, at least.

[alwaysonguard]

"More along the lines of.... I mean, you said you had books? Anything that might... yah know help me understand..."


Save the poor confused boy from himself Irene, he obviously needs it!

[begmetwice]

"Over here," Irene supplied easily, reaching out to lightly touch Dwight's arm before she clickily led the way over to the bookshelves.

"Something more in the...theory and breadth of things than the basic mechanics, I presume?" she supplied, glancing over at him. Given that Dwight had been married to a woman and had had a child, she was pretty sure he didn't need a lesson in reproduction so much as in how much of a spectrum existed outside of making babies and the prevention thereof.

[alwaysonguard]

"Yeah...More like a 'what's what' of thing today...." Dwight suggested. "I mean... lot had changed with this sort of thing... even before I left Haven. Add on the time jump...all these new terms and what not, feels like I'm learning a new language" he offered, trying to chuckle a little at his own joke.

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“You really just went full for the ‘enthusiastic chicks who write bad fanfic’ market, huh.”

Margo had come in to hang out with Irene, and bumped into the monster display instead. And that was where she stayed, holding up a werewolf. . . appendage.

[begmetwice]

"'Tis the season," Irene remarked, clicking over in her heels with a cheerful smile and a shrug towards the...appendage. "Not everyone personally knows a werewolf, you know."

She was just going ahead and assuming Margo personally knew at least one werewolf, sure.

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“Yeah, I know, there’s a huge stigma on that,” Margo said, lowering the box. “Like all STIs. It’s bullshit.”

[begmetwice]

"...I'm sorry, is lycanthropy sexually-transmitted where you're from?" Irene had to ask in surprise, because she had not expected that at all. "That's a new one. And yes, bullshit."

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“Yeah, just an FYI if you ever wind up in my universe, don’t go full P-in-V with a werewolf,” Margo said. “I don’t know exactly what werewolves are like, but if it’s anything like the fiction? It seems like a raw deal.”

One day, she’d find out Josh caught lycanthropy from a cryptozoology professor and she was going to. . . something.

[begmetwice]

"Well, that was never in danger of happening," Irene said lightly, but noted all the same lest she someday encounter some sort of attractive lady werewolf and was all out of sexy, sexy dental dams or whatever. "It's not just cautionary tales, I take it? It's always been something of a thinly-veiled metaphor for the less-supernaturally inclined of us, anyway."

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“I just know what my cryptozoology professor told us,” Margo said, shrugging. “Which ain’t much. But I don’t think they just grow dicks like this, if you know what I mean.”

[begmetwice]

"That's disappointing," Irene sighed. "I mean, there really seems to be such a market for sexy werewolves. At least, this time of year. Give me a week and I'll replace all of these with dirty candy canes and sexy Santas."

Another kink she didn't personally really get, but, you know. Something for everyone.

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

"And who doesn't like kissing a dude with a beard the size of Katie Holmes?" Margo asked brightly. She dropped the werewolf dick back where she got it from.

[begmetwice]

"Pass on the daddy kink," Irene said, making a face. "But I do love all the 'come sit on my lap and tell me you've been naughty, baby' trappings of Christmas. Much more appealing, at least aesthetically, than peddling...."

She just waved vaguely at the monster display. Even werewolf dicks aside, the skeleton pleasure pad didn't do much for her, either.

[not_a_goddamn_princess]

“What, you don’t like banging creepy crawlies?” Margo teased. “Way more fucking vanilla than I expected from your naughty British ass.”

It was also not her thing, but she didn’t see why she had to bring that up.

[begmetwice]

"I am anything but vanilla, darling, and if you keep talking like that I'm going to have to find a way to correct the assumption," Irene tsked, shaking her head. "But no. Though I did once find myself in an orgy with a vampire."

And fae...somethings, maybe? Irene had never clarified what Bo and Tamsin respectively were.