Trooper Station | Saturday

[knife_bender]

It looked like it was shaping up to be a fairly quiet day at the office. No raccoons outside selling wares, no weird bee lady calls...

Diego kind of didn't know what to do himself, really. He didn't know about the existence of Wordle and therefore did not realize he could waste time being angry at that. So instead he'd sit at his desk and be annoyed about having nothing to be annoyed about.

[Expect some SP later on this morning but open!]

Comments

[defenderofdesmoines]

Annie had been standing there at the Perk, all set to order a set of coffees full of sugar and cream and things that actually tasted really, unfairly good in coffee.

And then the woman in front of her had to go and order a really, really green juice, leaving Annie with enough time to impulsively change her mind on the basis that, you know what, she could be a woman who drank juice, too! It would be so good for her! And for Diego, who probably also had vitamin deficiencies!

"Do you want the green one or the purpleish one?" she greeted him, upon wandering into the trooper station and holding out the two drinks.

[knife_bender]

“What the hell is it?” Diego asked, looking at the drinks warily.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Juice," Annie replied, helpfully. "I thought I'd change it up a little. They both have a caffeine shot thing, so it's like coffee, still!"

It was not in the slightest like coffee, still.

[knife_bender]

“Thinking about our collective health now?” Diego joked. “I’ll take the green one.”

That at least looked like a color produced in nature.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Our collective health is always important to me. It's just that whipped cream is also usually pretty important," Annie assured him, passing over the green juice and taking a seat. "I dunno, it looked sort of good when I saw this other chick order one?"

And then Annie took a sip of her drink, which definitely got its color from beets, and did her best to not make a face.

[knife_bender]

Diego snorted at the face before taking a sip of his own. "...I thought they were supposed to put bananas in or something to cover up the vegetable taste."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Maybe there's not enough banana or whatever," Annie decided, looking at her juice like it had personally offended her. "But like...it's good for us! And that's better than tasting good, isn't it?"

Right?????

[knife_bender]

"Yeah, of course." And to try to prove that he took another, robust, swig of the drink. "You promise me there's caffeine in this?"

Because if there wasn't that as a cruel trick to play on him.

[defenderofdesmoines]

Ugh, look at him do better with this than she was, even if Annie was determined to suffer in the name of health. Health, damn it.

"I told them to add the caffeine thing," she offered dubiously. "There's also collagen for our skin and something in here that's supposed to be good for hair and nails."

Supposedly. Annie would be wanting some proof, later, in the form of some shiny-ass hair or whatever.

[knife_bender]

"You know, I never really thought about the wellbeing of my hair or nails before." Because he was a man who was lucky enough to not have the baldness gene.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"The privileges of being a dude," Annie commented dryly. Which wasn't really accurate -- it was more like the privileges of, like, not being a lady superhero whose image largely involved being super-girly and badass. "Maybe this is what'll bring on the long hair, finally."

She waggled her brows at him playfully, because at this point the foretold long hair was more of a thing for Annie to flirt over than anything that seemed actually likely. (And plus, the twins had brought up other things that simply could no longer possibly happen, so...maybe that long-haired future belonged to a different Diego, anyway.)

[knife_bender]

Diego laughed. "What are you going to do if that long haired me was from an alternate universe that will never happen?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Continue to tell you how I think you'd be hot with long hair, for a variety of reasons, and be curious about how right I am for the rest of our lives," Annie replied immediately, throwing in an exaggerated, put-upon sigh for effect.

[knife_bender]

"Maybe one day I'll give in," Diego said, even though he had no intention of doing so. He took another swig of his drink. "God, that's terrible."

But he was gonna finish it. It was a challenge now.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I mean, it's not like something you can do on a whim," Annie pointed out, grimacing through another sip of her own juice. "Diego, I'm so sorry I've done this to us. Coffee next week, promise."

[knife_bender]

Diego laughed again. "Well suffering isn't too bad when someone like you is suffering with me."

Was that romantic?

[defenderofdesmoines]

"You're so cute," Annie told him, smiling a purpley smile at him.

It was romantic if you were these weirdos, anyway.

[knife_bender]

"I can be sometimes," he said. "Should I be worried about you making impulsive decisions because of the person in front of you about anything else?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Only if it seems like a good idea," Annie decided thoughtfully. "I'm strong in the face of peer pressure, usually, but for a second I was totally like, 'I could be a person who drinks juice! That could be me!'"

She took another sip, rolling her eyes now at the grossness -- she was also kind of competitive about making sure she finished it, now -- and added, "I don't think I'm actually a juice person, though."

Not this kind, anyway.

[knife_bender]

"You're definitely a sugary coffee and protein shakes kind of person," Diego said with a nod. "Oooh do they sell caffeinated protein shakes?"

Preferably of the chocolate peanut butter persuasion. Obviously they couldn't trust this place to hide the taste of vegetables.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Maybe that would be a good compromise," Annie decided, sure that they must, now. "I have a photoshoot on Monday for my candy line and I was all worried about sugar -- I think that's actually irony? -- but protein shakes are totally, like, still good for you. And they probably have more caffeine, too, since they can actually taste like coffee."

Instead of this ginseng or green tea extract or whatever the hell was blended into these concoctions she had inflicted upon herself and the man she supposedly loved.

[knife_bender]

"How much candy do you think you're gonna have to eat for this shoot?" he asked. "Is it even any good?"

[defenderofdesmoines]

"It's all right for, like, hard candy," Annie allowed, reaching into her bag and producing a star-shaped lollipop, which she gently tossed onto Diego's desk. "I think I have to eat at least one for the photos, though, and they're probably gonna want to do a bunch of takes, so I'm going to get real sick of them really fast."

Now, if it had been something from the coconut-chocolate family, that would be a different story.

[knife_bender]

"This kind of takes me back," Diego said, taking the lollipop in his hand. "Not the whole candy line thing, but the photoshoots. Having to do dumb poses and stuff."

He lifted up the lollipop to his face and smiled cheesily, much like he supposed Annie would have to on Monday.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Are you sure you don't want to sell Starlight Pops?" Annie teased. "Look at that handsome face. You're a natural."

Also that cheesy smile was pretty different from how they were going to direct Annie, but that was a battle she'd have to decide whether to pick come Monday.

[knife_bender]

"I get the feeling the public would much rather see you," Diego said. "You're Starlight, after all."

Diego, maybe naively, though this candy was going to be marketed to children.

[defenderofdesmoines]

Children, perverts, po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

"You could be, like, an adoring fan of mine or something," Annie offered. "Considering you totally probably are, like, my adoringest fan. I can't believe you guys never had your own candy line, though. I would totally get Umbrella Academy candy."

Obviously each sibling would represent a different flavor. The ad copy wrote itself.

[knife_bender]

"We didn't really need endorsement money." Not that Annie did either at this point, but she was bringing in money for a whole company, after all. "Besides, Dad preferred the attention on him and what he achieved with us. So unless he got his own candy he wouldn't be for it."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"Ugh, your dad's candy would totally be, like, black licorice-flavored," Annie told him loyally. And also probably correctly. "Or like a Tootsie Roll. Even I barely like Tootsie Rolls."

Charleston Chews, though. Give those to her, please.

[knife_bender]

"I love you," Diego said with a dopey grin on his face. "Maybe if I stir this drink with the candy it'll be more palatable."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I love you, too, and your great ideas. Like one of those honey spoons for tea!"

This was probably not a great idea, but guess who had at least one more lollipop in her bag and was now brandishing it with clear intent of trying this great idea out? That's right, this girl.

[knife_bender]

"How many of those do you have?" Diego asked as he unwrapped his lollipop to try out his truly brilliant idea. Surely nothing about this could go wrong, sugar made all things taste better.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"They gave me a whole box on Wednesday," Annie explained, unwrapping her own. "So, like, if you end up loving these, boy have I got a hookup for you. I think Summer's gonna use some to make shots, too."

Probably not shocking.

[knife_bender]

"I'll do my best to restrain to myself," Diego said. "Candy leads to cavities which leads to the dentist which leads to..."

You know. Needles.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"And we want to avoid that," Annie agreed, shooting a sympathetic little smile over because she could finish that thought pretty easily. "Maybe they'll come out with, like, 'Starlight's Vegan Sugarless Stars' and you can support my brand without the risks of candy."

Speaking of gross health food, though, she totally was just going to go ahead and dunk this lollipop in this juice. There was no way it could be worse, right?

[knife_bender]

"Vegan? I might risk the cavities." Diego dunked the lollipop into his own drink, and then a thought occurred to him. "How long are these going to take to dissolve if the drinks aren't hot?"

These two...these two were not the brains of any outfit. Their skills were in other areas.

[defenderofdesmoines]

Foresight. It was not anyone's strong suit, here. Ever. Ever. In all contexts! Consistently!

"...do you think it will dissolve unless it's hot?" Annie wondered, thinking back to high school chemistry. "I could heat them up?"

Because that would improve it. Hot juice was everyone's favorite.

[knife_bender]

"Hot juice?" he asked. "I guess it works for apple cider..."

Mmm hot liquid spinach drink. With candy in it.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"I don't know. It's cold out, anyway, maybe it'll be nice warmed up," Annie tried, justifying all these mistakes even further. She hesitantly slid her hands around her cup, drawing a little bit of power to make her hands warm and glowing. "I'll make sure not to melt the cup."

But if she did, that might give all those emergency service guys -- Diego probably included -- something to do!

[knife_bender]

"Maybe we should be doing this on Danny's desk," he joked before leaning in to watch. There would never be a day where he got tired of seeing Annie use her powers. He still thought it was so cool.

[defenderofdesmoines]

And in the winter, they were such useful powers!

"Nah, I'm good at this," Annie promised, glancing up to give him a confident, flirty little eyebrow raise. "And besides, I've gone like, six months without trashing Danny's desk. Let's keep that record going."

She gave the lollipop a little stir with one still-rosy hand after a moment, and the stick came away clean -- so, huzzah, it was now a hot drink. With liquified candy in it now. A+ decisions all the way around, really.

"Want yours hot, too?"

[knife_bender]

He lifted an eyebrow. "I want you to try yours first."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"What, you don't think it'll be good?" Annie scoffed. She had exactly zero confidence that it would taste good, at all but you know. She couldn't just admit that. She lifted the drink, letting her eyes and hands fade now that she wasn't using her powers, and even went so far as to raise it in a little toast to Diego. See? She was excited to drink hot juice sweetened with high fructose corn syrup.

"Mmmm," she contributed, once she'd had a sip. That was it. That was the whole comment. Her face, though, was -- well, it was being Annie's face about this whole thing. All the 'mmmm's in the world couldn't undo the face she was making.

[knife_bender]

"Yeah, I'm gonna pass." Call him crazy! "I'll drink it cold and sugarless."

Because he was still determined to finish it.

[defenderofdesmoines]

"No, this is great," Annie assured him, totally unconvincingly. "It's...cozy."

She was also going to finish hers. She'd just made it, like, a way worse experience. And it had already not started from a great place.

[knife_bender]

"Cozy suits you better than me," he said, proud of how quickly he pulled that excuse out of his ass. "You enjoy. I'll just suffer through my cold juice."

[defenderofdesmoines]

"But at least we're still suffering together," Annie pointed out, bringing it back around to how pulverized-vegetable-and-maybe-heated grossness was actually romantic if you squinted at it. "Pizza for dinner, though?"

Just go ahead and undo all of the supposed healthy good these juices were doing with cheese and carbohydrates later.

[knife_bender]

"Good deal," he said. "Maybe some cheese sticks too."

Make the best of it by eating allll the carbs.