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End of the Causeway | Saturday Morning

Diego wasn't much of an alcohol drinker, but he was sure feeling the lack of coffee thing. He couldn't even imagine how Five was dealing right now. Of course, Five was always in a bad mood so it might not be all that different.

Luckily Diego had an awesome girlfriend who was more than willing to go to her universe just to buy a couple of giant boxes of coffee from the Jitter Bean and bring it to the edge of the island. And Diego was nice enough to invite his coworkers along, since technically he was on shift. If he had made the troopers jog to get there it counted as a work thing, right?

[Open post. Annie modded with permission and if you think she texted you regarding the coffee delivery, she did. Expect some Batman-related SP from me]

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"This is nice," Annie decided happily. It was easy to decide as much given that she was drinking a giant coffee and had chased off a two-day headache with this little errand. "It's like a coffee picnic."

And the weather was even cooperating! 'Picnic' would have been a much harder sell a couple months ago. Or even tomorrow, since it was threatening to rain.

"Don't let the guys hear you say picnic," Diego said, taking a sip of his own very large black coffee. "They might get really into it and expect sandwiches or something."

"Then they can bring sandwiches for the next one," Annie replied, lowering her voice but lifting an eyebrow at Diego. "That would be cute. You guys could have, like, a real picnic at the start of summer or something. Maybe a cook-out. Bond as a department or whatever."

"Bond? With these guys?" Diego gestured to Ralph and Calvin. "Absolutely not."

Annie shrugged, fluttering a little wave over to the guys in question in case they'd caught any of that. "Well, I think it might be nice," she said, taking a long sip of her coffee.

Easy for her to say. Almost all of Annie's coworkers would say the same about her. Including Tiny.

"They are certainly in your debt after today," Diego said. "You should have seen them jogging here this morning. It was like Night of the Living Dead."

"I mean, I believe it," Annie agreed, wincing at the memory of how she'd just kind of laid on the bar with the garnishes on Thursday. "I honestly didn't know I had a caffeine problem until the island got all cute about it this week. It's fucking debilitating. I'm glad to help."

Though, of course, this was mostly about helping Diego get through work without a headache; the troopers were just benefiting as an afterthought.

"I'm just wondering why it happened," he said. "I mean I didn't do anything to piss the island off."

At least he didn't think he did. He usually kept to himself around here.

"I mean, all the booze disappeared on Ash Wednesday. Maybe the island's giving coffee and booze up for Lent," Annie pointed out, shrugging. "But that was back when I figured this was a one-day personal attack on Summer. If this goes on for the full forty days, I don't know what we're going to do."

Probably eventually shake the caffeine dependency, at least.

"There might be a riot." Could you riot against an island. "Or a mass exodus."

"Which I have to think would hurt the island's feelings," Annie suggested, so that was totally a plan if this issue persisted. "I mean, if the island has whims, it totally has feelings, right?"

"I don't really know if I want to think about that," he said. "It's bad enough knowing the squirrels are always watching, but the island too? Gross."

"Very good point." Annie made a little face. "Though at least the island doesn't seem to, like, take notes and report on stuff. Like I wonder who taught the squirrels to write."

It was a rhetorical wonder, mostly. There was probably a squirrel around here she could ask, actually.

"Well, Dad taught a chimp to read and write, so it's not out of the question for someone to do it with squirrels," he said. "At least if Pogo took notes on us, he was a little more discreet."

"Yeah, presumably Pogo didn't, like, report on your daily activities for the whole house," Annie replied, looking a little alarmed at the idea. "And I think chimpanzees are probably a little smarter than squirrels just, like, as a baseline."

Pogo could probably spell better, anyway.

Pogo did take notes on their daily activities, but those disappeared when the house did, thankfully.

“Pogo drank less alcohol too, thankfully.”

One Klaus in the house was enough.

"The alcohol is sort of handy," Annie noted. "'Cause you can bribe the squirrels with it."

A mildly horrified look crossed her face as realization dawned. "Except for the last half-a-week, I guess. Poor squirrels."

"Oh yeah, I just thought about that," Diego said, frowning. "Their notes are surprisingly good."

You would think some of them would have DT's by now or would have left the island.

Maybe it was a new crop of fresh squirrels?

"I wonder what the raccoons are doing," Annie replied, hiding a smile with her coffee cup.

She had not forgotten that she'd once made a promise regarding that illegal raccoon brewery.

"Ugh don't remind me about those guys." He still would be happy with never seeing a racoon again. "Thank you for getting us coffee, by the way."

"Of course. I mean, don't tell them but this is mostly for your benefit," Annie replied, smiling. (And her benefit, too. Totally, totally her benefit.) "If this doesn't wear off soon you should probably come back to New York with me tomorrow."

Hanging in the tower while she did Seven stuff could be kind of boring, sure, but there was a whole city out there with working caffeine, too.

"You don't think it'll be frowned upon if I left the island during a crisis since I'm law enforcement?" he joked.

"A crisis," Annie repeated, which was easy for her to joke about now that she'd gotten her precious caffeine. "I mean, what are you guys going to do about it? Is there a coffee and booze task force I've missed out on joining?"

"That's a good point. I think we were just ignoring it," Diego admitted. "Honestly, there has been less cranky calls than one would expect. Maybe because everybody is trying to sleep it off."

"Probably for the best," Annie decided. "I hope you didn't just jinx yourself into a stack of complaints from the Bee Lady because her mead turned back into honey or whatever, though. Most of the crankiness I've seen -- or heard about -- has been coffee-related, at least."

And while caffeine dependency was clearly nothing to scoff at, alcohol withdrawal could be pretty serious, so she really was hoping this all wore off before things got really ugly.

"So much would be explained if she was a drunk," Diego said, shaking his head. "But I think she's just a regular psycho."

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End of the Causeway | Saturday Morning

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