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Fast Eddie's | Friday

There was a clog in the men's bathroom, and Eddie and his fellow useless employees were doing all they could to not be the one to handle it. He was willing to have this go on for as long as he had to. He would not be the one to break first.

Song of the Day
Black Dog - Led Zeppelin
Free drink whenever the song plays!

[Open]

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Ulysses was just going to be honest, here.

"I don't know." Yes, this entire get-up, and he didn't know yet. "Kinda figured I'll just... find some club I haven't tried yet."

"Sounds like an excellent way to shed some of the trauma of a bad weekend." For Ulysses. Eddie, shockingly, would do terrible at the club scene.

Now if Hammerjacks were at its prime, that's where Eddie would be hanging out in Baltimore...

Ulysses found ways to do terrible, too. He just did so while blending in.

"See, you get it," he said, with a little gesture towards Eddie. "Maybe if I'd done this last Friday, I could've dodged the whole thing."

Nah.

"Exactly. Three day benders every weekend, you can't go wrong," Eddie joked. "Well, you can. But it'd probably be less traumatic than knowing your future."

"Oh, that was not my future." Easy to say now that the weight of it didn't seem so heavy on him anymore.

Also, he said that a little too quickly.

His hand ended up brushing his hair back. Nervous tic, moving on. "Anyway. I don't know, man, I guess I'll just... see how it goes, you know? With the club."

"Oh, by all means, don't let me keep you," Eddie said lightly. "You look way too good to be hanging around here."

He meant that in a...well, he didn't know how he meant it. But he said it.

Ulysses didn't know how to take it.

But it didn't make him feel in a rush to leave, so... "Well, you know," he said. "The best party time tends to be later, anyway."

"So you're going to pre-game at a bowling alley?" Eddie teased. "Very interesting."

"It's Fandom," Ulysses retorted, "nothing makes sense here, anyway."

"Touché," Eddie said, pointing at him. "...man, you can get away with doing a lot using that excuse here."

"Like what?"

He had more than a few immediate thoughts of his own but hey, curiosity and making conversation.

"Probably literally anything short of murder," Eddie said. "Or maybe actual murder--there is a lot of forest you can hide a body in around here."

This is why you kept getting accused of murder in Hawkins, Eddie.

"I.... don't know if I would try that," Ulysses said. Slowly.

"I mean, me either." Despite looking like the 80's definition of a Satanist Eddie had not, in fact, sacrificed anyone to the devil. "But you probably could."

Ulysses was willing to give him that much at least, with a faint nod. "Yeah, I guess," he said. "But, mostly we just try not to let the island murder us."

"Oh that's been easy here so far," Eddie said with a wave of his hand. "I mean, you can step on a tree root in this place without having to worry about it alerting the hive mind of evil hanging around."

"... One time when I was a student here, I opened a random gift and ended up being held hostage in a volcano." A beat. "By a goat man."

So don't count on that 'so far' to last, Eddie!

"That's really fucking metal, dude," Eddie said, eyebrows raising. "And you turned out okay, it looks like."

Ulysses head tilted way further than it needed to, like he was really thinking about it.

"There's... some differing opinions on that." No, everything that was wrong with him actually predated the Krampus debacle. "But I didn't like, lose any limbs or anything. And I wasn't part of the plot to try and seduce the goat man into letting us go."

As a seasoned DM, Eddie was absolutely not surprised someone rolled to seduce the goat man.

"...was the goat man successfully seduced?"

"We all got tied up and suspended over the pit," Ulysses said. "And not in a fun way."

Because surely that needed clarifying given the context, Uly? Jesus.

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Fast Eddie's | Friday

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