Perk | Late Wednesday Morning

[shireisburning]

Eddie still didn't really get the concept of fancy coffees, but he did understand the concept of free coffee, so when the barista offered him a charcoal frappe for free he didn't immediately say no. All he had to do was give her an honest review when he was done.

So he said yes, and was handed a black drink with whipped cream on top. Looked like the devil's latte, which was pretty cool and on brand for him. He took the drink to a corner table, fully prepared to tell this woman if it sucked.

[Open!]

Comments

[existencemisspent]

"Good god, what the hell is that?"

Hello to you, too, Eliot.

[shireisburning]

"It's free is what it is." He had been sleeping on the pool tables at the bowling alley and hustling teens for cigarette money; he wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

[existencemisspent]

Eliot made a face. "Well. I suppose you're the one who has to live with it. Still, it might behoove you to develop some standards."

[shireisburning]

"Never," Eddie said with a grin before taking a swig of the frappe. "It's not bad. And it turns my tongue black, which is fun."

[existencemisspent]

"It turns your -- Oh. The beverage. Yes, good for you."

Eliot had, in fact, been referring to Eddie's hair.

[I could not resist *g*]

[shireisburning]

"And what would you order, Mr. Fancypants?" Eddie asked. "Since you have standards and all."

[existencemisspent]

"Here?" Eliot shrugged. "Black coffee. With plenty of room for alcoholic adulteration."

Gin, when he just used his flask, but he happily made it a full cocktail if he was taking it home with him.

[shireisburning]

"Oh, that's not fancy at all," Eddie said. "That's what I usually get."

Usually with the cheapest whiskey he could score.

"But that involves paying money, which I try to avoid whenever possible." Hence the demonic monstrosity he was currently drinking.

[existencemisspent]

"I suppose that's fair. And it isn't as though you're likely to be able to flirt your way to free coffee, poor thing." Eliot sighed distantly, then shook off the brief bout of pity for Eddie's circumstances. "I'm Eliot," he said, finally remembering to introduce himself. "You're. . . ." He eyed Eddie up and down. ". . . New."

And reasonably attractive, if you could get past the 80s hair band look.

[shireisburning]

Excuse you, the 80s hair band look was why was reasonably attractive. You didn't want to see that British guy hairline.

"Been here about a month," he said. "I'm Eddie. I mostly hang out at the bowling alley."

Contain your shock.

"Got my name on it and everything."

[existencemisspent]

"That's . . . true." He seemed faintly pained that it was true. "Well. Welcome to Fandom, Eddie. I suppose you come from some . . . metal-themed apocalypse world?"

[shireisburning]

"1986 apocalypse world," Eddie replied. "I'd much prefer the metal-themed one. Indiana sucks."

[existencemisspent]

Eliot gave an only-partially-performative full body shudder. "I am aware, yes."

He shook it off. "1986, eh? I know . . . very little about that year. I assume all the best musicians were still closeted, though."

[shireisburning]

"Uh, I guess so?" Eddie wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. He was closeted in 1986...because it was 1986 in Indiana. "I'm quickly learning times have changed."

[existencemisspent]

Yeah, a lot of Eliot's issues in Indiana stemmed from being terrible at being closeted himself, and it would have been in the 90s and 2000s. He could only imagine his hometown in 1986.

"They have indeed, and mostly for the better," Eliot assured him. "Also you're in Maryland now and thus that much closer to centers of actual culture!"

[shireisburning]

Eddie huffed. "You know, I hate to defend Indiana in any way but it wasn't the dark ages when it came to culture."

[existencemisspent]

"Wasn't it, though?" Eliot asked. "It certainly felt that way at the time."

[shireisburning]

"Yeah, well, I was in high school," Eddie said. "We all wanted to escape that hell. But Hawkins has an arcade and a pretty sweet mall until it burned down last summer."

Eddie was now 85% sure that mall burning down had something to with Dustin Henderson now that he knew what kind of things that kid was doing with his free time.

[existencemisspent]

"An arcade and a mall," Eliot cooed. "It really is all about the simple things, isn't it."

Eliot, don't be mean. -Er than usual.

[shireisburning]

"What can I say, I'm a simple guy." Actually he was a contradictive guy, but whatever

[existencemisspent]

"Of that I have no doubt, young Edward."

He was just assigning you that as your full name, Eddie, sorry.

[shireisburning]

Well, he got lucky because that was indeed Eddie's real name.

"I haven't been here long, but I haven't seen much culture on this island," Eddie admitted. "Is it in the castle? Is that where it's hidden?"

[existencemisspent]

Eliot let out a long sigh. "No, that would be the high school. Unfortunate, I know. Fandom . . . has moments of culture. My darling Margo and I manage to provide it on occasion with our parties." He smiled fondly. "Though I'm afraid we've failed so far in inciting any proper orgies or anything. We've been a bit distracted, attempting to find a way back to our kingdom."

Ah! This was a much better topic than Indiana: Eliot's status as the deposed High King of a fantasy realm full of talking animals. Surely that wouldn't make Eddie's D&D-loving heart swell.

[shireisburning]

"...have there been improper orgies?" What would that even consist of? Now he was lost in thought.

And, yes, he assumed the kingdom thing was a D&D reference, but orgies first.

[existencemisspent]

"There was a whole aphrodisiac thing happening for a bit," Eliot said. "And I can only hope people took proper advantage, but I'm afraid I most enjoyed myself on the mainland during that, so I can't say with any certainty. Honestly, this place seems determined to have as few orgies as possible, for a land full of very pretty people."

[shireisburning]

"Huh. Good to know." As if Eddie would ever be caught dead at an orgy. That seemed like an extremely intimidating situation.

"Separated from your kingdom, huh?" Eddie asked. "Classic story."

[existencemisspent]

"Indeed," Eliot agreed. "Grad student meets nerd boy, nerd boy discovers fantasy world is real, grad student and nerd boy and their friends go to save fantasy world from a megalomaniacal monster, grad student gets crowned High King by an enchanted knife and crowns nerd boy and their two closest lady friends to rule beside him. Tale as old as time."

Er.

"Though, honestly, actually ruling is a pain in the ass."

[shireisburning]

"Heavy is the head that wears the crown," Eddie said with a flourish of a hand. "Or some shit like that."

[existencemisspent]

"Or some shit," Eliot agreed. "The very first thing I ended up doing was teaching the poor wretches about fertilizer. The Beast had been steadily draining their magic and apparently they'd never learned how to grow their food the natural way."