The Devil's Nest, Monday Evening

[texted3times]

Eric had spent several weeks off in Never You Mind doing None of Your Business (But Probably Some Murders) and was now back in Fandom. He strode into the Devil's Nest and stopped just before walking straight into a life-sized cow make entirely out of butter.

"Iowa State Fair?" he asked Tiny, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Tiny grumbled an assent.

"Inspired by or stolen from?" he asked.

Tiny's reply was not reassuring.

The Devil's Nest was open, the air conditioning was cranked to stop the stolen butter cow from melting, and the vampire was in.

Comments

[sword_chocobro]

The Nell Watch had been lifted, so Gladio could head out to the bar as usual for his Monday nights, especially since it would be really good to return to his routines and get settled back into business as usual around here to help him put everything that had happened in the house behind him.

And when he came in, there was a life-sized cow made entirely out of butter in the bar, and he sank into what was his usual spot with a shake of his head and a grin.

"Man, I missed this place." His grin and a nod turned toward the man he was sure absolutely loved having that cow here right now. "Eric. How you been?"

[texted3times]

"Busy," Eric said with a grin, "and nowhere near Iowa if anyone comes to investigate."

[sword_chocobro]

There was....a pause.

"Got it," Gladio said. "What's definitely not in Iowa, then?"

[texted3times]

"Well, a cow made of butter, generally," Eric said, shooting a glare at Tiny, "and also some extremely tedious vampires with plans for power who have chosen to...relocate."

Sure. "Relocate."

[sword_chocobro]

And now Gladio was lifting his brows at Tiny now, too, and making a note to ask that guy a few questions before he left for the night. "Sometimes," he said, "you just need a change in scenery, right? So where even is Iowa?"

[texted3times]

Eric waved in a generally westerly direction. "Out there. Very flat. Full of corn."

[sword_chocobro]

"...and butter," Gladio observed, looking back at the cow again, because it just seemed to demand extra gawking, "apparently."

[texted3times]

"And cows for the butter," Eric added with a grin. "No reason to go there, as far as I can tell."

[sword_chocobro]

"I'll be sure to scratch it off of my potential vacation hot-spots, then," Gladio said. "Especially since it looks like Tiny was thoughtful enough," a nod of acknowledgement for the third favorite bartender in question, "to bring the best parts here already."

[texted3times]

"Life's too short--even for immortals--to spend time in Iowa unless it's absolutely required," Eric declared.

[sword_chocobro]

"I'm pretty sure I've been to worse," said Gladio, maybe a little dryly.

[texted3times]

"I don't doubt that," Eric said with a smile. "At least Iowa has the sun."

[sword_chocobro]

"Which I'm sure definitely adds to your bias against it," Gladio pointed out.

And, a moment later, when he'd realized certain implications: "And is probably not great for all that butter around."

If he ever did make it to Iowa, Gladio was going to be so disappointed....but not in the way you'd expect.

[texted3times]

Iowa could be disappointing on any number of levels!

"It's definitely bad for the butter," Eric said with a smirk. "Drink?"

[sword_chocobro]

"I'll take whatever you've got with Cup Noodle^TM," Gladio said, utterly shameless and not feeling the least bit bad about it.

Just hook him up with an IV of it, what with these last two weeks.

[texted3times]

Tiny chose the Mostly Generic Vodka for you tonight, Gladio. Enjoy!

The glass came sliding across the bar for him.

"There you are," Eric said, like he'd done anything to make it appear.

[two_idiots_one_body]

Arthur was utterly done. And depressed. And definitely drinking tonight.

John was mostly quiet, just occasionally alerting Arthur to things he could see, or reassuring him that he was there.

[texted3times]

Eric gave a lazy wave. "Hello. Drink?"

[two_idiots_one_body]

"Whisky, please." Arthur found a stool and slid onto it.

[texted3times]

"Tiny, get the man a whisky," Eric said.

The glass slid across to Arthur a moment later.

[two_idiots_one_body]

"Thanks." Arthur fumbled for a second before finding it. He didn't down it in one gulp, but he wasn't exactly savoring it, either. "I'll probably need quite a few more."

[texted3times]

"I was out of town," Eric said. "Did I miss an invasion?"

[two_idiots_one_body]

Arthur finished his first drink and slid the glass carefully in Eric's direction. "A house. It did...awful things."

[texted3times]

"I'm going to need more specifics on awful," Eric said.

[two_idiots_one_body]

"I'll need more alcohol for that," Arthur said grimly.

[texted3times]

"Tiny, keep them coming," Eric said.

[two_idiots_one_body]

Arthur toasted with his soon-not-to-be empty glass.

"Have we spoken before?"

It's not the piano player, Arthur.

"It's always been the guy on the piano before, I think."

[texted3times]

"I'm Eric, the better looking owner of the bar," Eric said with a smile.

[two_idiots_one_body]

"I'll take your word for it," Arthur said, finishing his next drink.

I have no idea, John added.

[texted3times]

Eric didn't need others to confirm his own good opinion about himself, fortunately.

"I'm a good listener, too," he added.

[two_idiots_one_body]

Arthur gave a weak huff of laughter. "I'm afraid I'm not much of a talker."

That's an understatement.

"What do you want to know?"