fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Monday [09/25].

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Turtle & Canary; Monday [09/25].

When Summer came into the shop that day to get to work, Apu had asked if he could play a playlist he'd made for the day. Immediately, she was a little suspicious, since Apu was definitely more the 'easier to ask forgiveness' type, and she eyed him carefully, trying to think of what the catch was.

"It's not, like, just one song over and over again, or anything, right?" she asked. "I'm not about to be subjected to just eight hours of Darude 'Sandstorm' nonstop, am I?"

He assured her that she wasn't, and also that it wasn't just some annoying artist's entire discography all at once, either. So with a caveat that she be allowed veto power at any time, he put in the CD and....

It wasn't all that bad? And it Summer was distracted trying to figure out the theme, until she realized they were all one-hit wonders.

And now the special sale he'd put on only very specific bands in the music section made a lot more sense.

Today's Squishy Flavors
Lobster
Quesadilla
Red

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Listen, 8 hours of Darude's Sandstorm was pretty much required listening if you were gonna throw an early 2000s LAN party. That or the soundtrack to whichever DDR game closest to hand, bonus points if it had the magnum opus Drop The Bomb.

Liliana knew none of the above and probably would have been insulted if someone had tried to explain it to her (despite her canon being prominent in such evenings), but she was swinging into the shop sometime well into the afternoon, looking around with a curiosity that occasionally strayed into blank incomprehension at T&C's... everything. She looked around for assistance, expression turning almost slightly relieved when she spotted Summer and glided over to the young woman. "Ah, Summer, yes? She of the jiggling cocktails. Are you employed here? And regardless of the answer to that, might I inveigle you into assisting me?"

Look, Summer was a literal baby in the early 2000s, so sorry if she didn't exactly appreciate the vibe.

"Better than employed," she answered, with a bit of that smugness about her recent promotion still fresh, ignoring the fact that it wasn't even a new position for her, really, but it was honestly more to do with what she'd managed to get rid of to get there. "I own the place. So, yeah, you can definitely...inveigle,"--was that even a real word?--"me into assisting you. Liliana, right? What can I help you with?"

Well, we're all just going to ignore that little detour into rudeness, wow. Just wow.

"Congratulations on becoming the proprietress," Liliana said approvingly, unaware of how many times Summer had found herself in that position. "Answering to the whims of customers is bad enough without having to add a chain of command to that as well." The idea of having to listen to someone else on matters like breaks or scheduling or literally anything else made Liliana shudder.

Which made her current spiritual predicament darkly hilarious to everyone but her.

"I'm looking for a phone," she announced. "I heard those are the primary methods of communication on this plane."

And as far as she could tell, they were little rectangles that lit up, so she was just as likely to end up with a biking headlamp as a phone if left to her own devices.

Rudeness was just a crisis in certain people. It just couldn't be helped.

"You have no idea," Summer murmured, shaking her head and hating that someone like Shunsui, even after he was gone, just left behind a certain something that made you really feel you should go to the clinic for some tests.

But after that little aside, she immediately perked up. "Oooh! Yes! Of course! I definitely have phones, ohmygod, how have you not even gotten one yet, I actually have a whole deal with phones here because, like, the amount of people who come from places without them are staggering, I cannot even imagine, I would lit.er.al.lee DIE."

As she spoke, she ducked under the counter briefly to haul out a large box, plopping it down on the counter and immediately starting to rifle through it. She gave one look at Liliana, nodded, and then fished out one of those little rectangles in a rectangular box, and, of course, the one she offered out to Liliana was a rich deep purple color edged in black.

"I assume," she said, "you want to to stay on theme?"

It super was. And they seemed so pleased with themselves about it, too, tch.

Liliana just smiled through Summer's explanation, sharp and even a little shark-like. "Ah, but you see, my dear, I pull death's strings and not the other way about."

And then she was cooing over the phone. "You are correct," she said. "I love a good aesthetic." Which hers obviously was. "This will do quite nicely, I believe. Now...what magics do I need to do to make it work? Is it a Sending spell? Message? Do I just think of who I wish to contact...?"

Not that she had anyone in particular in mind or whatever. Just like...in general.

No, no, of course not. This was clearly just a practical, general acquirement. Everyone just needed a phone in this day and age and dimension.

Summer was not going to let that whole 'I pull death's strings' line go by without at least a little bit of a look, the kind that made her wonder if the first thing she should show Liliana on her newly acquired tech was directions to the nearest Hot Topic, but like she'd literally just said two seconds ago, she had an aesthetic.

"You don't need magic," she answered, more helpfully, "just a service plan, and we've got them here so we can get you hooked up and ready to go." She pulled out her own phone so there was a helpful aid as she explained. "And once it's set up, everything's going to be here on the screen. Apps, music, camera, and, of course, phone. You set up a list of contacts, see?" Summer turned the screen toward Liliana and scrolled a little through hers, and if her scrolling just so happened to land in a way that Ignis' was visible on the list, then what of it? "And then you just pick who you want to call or text..." She scrolled up just slightly to Gladio's, tapped it, and then tapped the phone icon to start calling him, followed swiftly by a tap to put it on speaker as it rang, "...and...."

And that's when the ringing stopped and Gladio's voice came through. "Hey, Summer, what's up? Everything okay?"

"Heeeeeyyyyyy, Gladio!" she sang out. "Yeah, no, everything's fine, I'm just showing someone how to use a phone. Say hi to Liliana."

There was a pause, and it was kind of amazing, really, how the amusement in it could be heard even through the little lighted rectangle. "Hey, Liliana."

Followed by a different voice, very muffled and indistinguishable, though with a distinct note of inquiry to it, before Gladio added a not at all ominous, "Good luck."

"Thaaanks, Gladio!" Summer sang out again, and then pressed the little red phone icon to let him get back to, she didn't know, probably scarfing down instant noodles while doing one handed pushups or something.

Listen, the only reason Liliana even noticed was because she had to watch to see how it was done. And was it her fault that she was a fast reader and saw the list of names? No. No it was not. Same with, well, not memorizing the string of numbers associated with his name, she'd forget them soon enough, but they'd linger for a day or so. A shortcut she'd picked up while Lady Ana had rapidfire explained the list of symptoms for this poison or that illness.

"Fascinating," she murmured. "So, that was a 'call'? Like calling out someone over a long distance? What is a text, then? I would assume writing, but..." She hadn't yet seen the keyboard.

And then sudden horror. "Wait, people can just...summon you at any time for a 'call'?"

Liliana didn't want to have to talk to people randomly out of the blue!

"Well, I mean," said Summer, "you can just ignore it. You don't have to answer it. I never answer phone calls; if it's so goddamn important, you can send me a text. Which..."

Leaning forward on the counter a little now, for ease of showing Liliana as she explained, she went to her messages and scrolled until she found Prompto's, which revealed glimpses into entire conversations of almost all emoji. "Texting is just messaging, right, and see, a little keyboard pops up where you type in the words instead of, say, calling someone and just talking. Way more convenient and less socially demanding. You just type what you want to say and...."

She took a moment to type out do me a favor and call me real quick. don't ask questions, i'm showing someone something and pressed send.

"Voila. The message is se--"

Before she even finished speaking, Prompto's reply blooped up in the form of a thumbs up and then Summer's phone started to play the chorus of Bang Bang Bang while Prompto's name flashed up on the screen.

And she let it play out, giving Liliana a faint smile. "See? I'm just letting it go and ignoring it, and, eventually, it'll just go to voice mail, where he can leave a message that I can get to at my leisure, or, more than likely, just forget about completely or just text him and ask what he wanted because I hate people just calling like fucking weirdos."

Edited 2023-09-25 13:34 (UTC)

Liliana looked relieved. Listen, she was absolutely a monster and made no bones about it (yes, that was a necromancer joke), but she still drew the line at random calling. That seemed horrendous. And if her phone was going to make noises like the ones Summer's had just made, she was going to figure out a way to enchant it to be perfectly silent at all times.

This was starting to seem like a lot of effort just to communicate with people. She didn't particularly even like people. She might need to discover a few more use cases before she decided to actually commit to this.

Wait.

"Can I use this to tell the restaurants in town to prepare a meal for me in advance? So that if I wished to dine in my home or in my shop, I could send someone in my stead to fetch it?"

Or, sure, get it herself maybe but also, lol.

"Oh, sweetie," said Summer, with a grin that made it clear she was ready to completely rock Liliana's world, "you don't even have to send someone to go get it, they'll bring it to you. Lemme introduce you to the wonders that is DoorDash."

Or, you know, whichever food delivery app was the hippest and marginally least problematic one at the moment.

And, lo, a similar demonstration followed in which it would then be about thirty minutes before Summer had herself some gyoza over from Taste o Thai, which was great, because who didn't fucking love some gyoza?

"You don't even need to talk to anyone if you don't want to," she said, getting the feeling somehow that this would be a big draw for Liliana, "it's amazing."

Sold.

Food that would arrive to wherever she was without having to talk to anyone if she didn't wish it? It was like someone had looked into her heart and offered her a gift on a silver platter.

"I wish to purchase this phone and the plan that goes with it," she declared. "And gyoza. I also wish to purchase gyoza."

Summer, you were her current favorite person.

Sunmer met that with an extremely pleased look. She was just so good at this! Ugh!

"We'll get you all hooked up," she said, with a nod, "and if you want to stick around and want to mess around with it with a little guidance, you can have some of mine. They always bring a ton extra. Or just learn the ropes firsthand and order some yourself. I'll just need a few minutes to set it up, and you'll be good to go."

Liliana hesitated. There was what was wise and then there was what was prideful. And in the end, there was no contest, her hesitation lasting reactions of seconds at best. She had already been 'sweetied' at by this child and once was enough for Summer's lifetime.

"I have some additional tasks to attend to," she said smoothly. "I believe I shall learn the ropes by myself and celebrate my triumph with gyoza of my own. Surely it must come with instructions for those who do not have a proprietress ready to offer explanations?"

Liliana was absolutely ~~nerd~~ meticulous enough to read the entirety of the phone manual. And also go through the phone's tutorial as well.

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Turtle & Canary; Monday [09/25].

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