Luke's, Thursday

[betterthanaplan]

After a fair amount of cursing back on his boat, Duke decided that screw this island, he was going to go into work today, pony or not.

Look. Sometimes spite was more powerful than depression, okay?

"Wait," he said, as he trotted into the diner. "Why aren't any of you ponies?"

His -- human -- staff blinked at him.

"Are you really sure that's the question to be asking here, boss?" Ali asked.

Duke face-. . . hoofed and groaned.

"I hate everything."

Today's specials
Sprouted mung bean burgers

Luke's was open.

Comments

[my_own_advocate]

"Look, I know you want to assert your independence," Lucifer said as he stepped inside, without preamble, "Especially after the debacle from last time, but considering the debacle from last time, will you please at least bring someone with thumbs al--"

Pause.

"Nevermind, your staff all have thumbs, I see."

[betterthanaplan]

"You're welcome to hang around anyway," Duke said. Crankily.

Sometimes it was a little obnoxious how little of Fandom's wackiness affected his boyfriend.

[my_own_advocate]

It wasn't like Lucifer could help being an ancient divine being whose self was naturally resistant to change by outside forces, Duke!

Besides, you'd get your payback next time he had some kind of internal crisis and accidentally self-actualized himself into a worm, or something.

"All right," Lucifer said, frowning. "Have you actually had breakfast yet?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke sighed. "I tried to grab an apple," he said. And stuck out a hoof. "But I don't have thumbs."

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed. "Well, it won't be the sexiest way I've ever fed you anything," he said, but he looked to the kitchen. "Does anyone have some apples or something?"

[betterthanaplan]

Greg jerked a thumb towards dry storage.

"Show off," Duke grumbled.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer sighed, and walked up to Duke, and patted him on the back. "Try not to murder any of them before end of day," he said. "That might be a health code violation."

And then he walked into the storage room to grab some food for Duke.

[betterthanaplan]

Duke grumbled wordlessly, paced for a second, then sat down outside the kitchen to wait.

"You know you have a horn, right?" Billy asked.

"And I will stab you with it if you don't go away." Duke showed his teeth. "That won't necessarily be murder. . . ."

Billy went away.

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer returned with an apple, which he held out for Duke as soon as he got close.

"Blood is also unhygienic, unfortunately."

[betterthanaplan]

"So are ponies," Duke pointed out. He scowled at the apple, then delicately leaned forward to grab it with his teeth.

. . . Wait. How was this going to work? Did horses usually just shove the whole thing in their mouths, or was it more of a "let the human hold it while they ate" kind of deal?

And had he mentioned lately how much he hated this?

[my_own_advocate]

Lucifer looked at him. "Do you need me to remove the core so you can eat the whole thing?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke glared at the apple. "No. Maybe. I don't know."

Sorry you had to deal with the crankiest pony ever, Luce.

[my_own_advocate]

Still cute, however. Lucifer couldn't resist patting him on the head. "Get me a corer," he called to the staff.

[designateddadfriend]

Well. At least Duke quickly wasn't the only (blue!) pony in attendance?

"Why is it a mung bean burger?" Travis asked. "Do you have regular burgers?"

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shrugged. Kind of? It was a mostly-hoof sort of action. "Ponies don't eat meat."

"Actually, horses will eat almost anything," Ali said. "Like pigs."

"I'm almost certain that's not true," Duke said.

"No, it totally is. My people are horse people. We would feed them the bones of our enemies."

Duke narrowed his eyes at him. Ali was from Central Asia -- but he was also kind of a dick. ". . . You're fucking with us, right?"

[designateddadfriend]

Travis groaned. "You know what? Mung bean is fine. Give me the mung bean."

At least somewhere Michael was pleased he was eating vegetarian for a bit.

[existencemisspent]

"Don't give him mung bean," Eliot said as he swanned in, his horn glowing faintly as he telekinetically stubbed out his cigarette on the front door jam. "Mung bean is terrible."

[betterthanaplan]

"Who the hell are you?"

[existencemisspent]

"I'm Eliot," Eliot said.

[designateddadfriend]

Travis raised a hoof. "Travis."

[betterthanaplan]

Duke shook his head, realizing that he had no idea who either of these people -- ponies -- were.

"I really need to start getting out more again," he said, and trotted off to go hide in his office.

[existencemisspent]

"I like your vest," Eliot said to Travis.

[designateddadfriend]

"Thanks." Travis looked down at himself. "I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be my turnout coat." He looked back at Eliot. "I'm a firefighter."

[existencemisspent]

Eliot let out a thoughtful, pleased hum, looking the other pony over again. He reached out a hoof to give Travis's long forelock a playful flick.

"Mmmm. A firefighter."

[betterthanaplan]

"The ponies are flirting!" Billy said, sotto voce.

Ali nodded. "I bet they're both hung like horses."

"You're all fired!" Duke shouted from his office. Then cursed. ". . . After one of you comes and opens this bottle for me!"

He hated pony day.