fandomtownies | You're All Boring [12pm-2pm FHT]

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$pirate radio

You're All Boring [12pm-2pm FHT]

At noon, the radio cackles to life.

"I would like to state two things: I was NOT stuck in a tree and I don't shed. Contrary to anything else you might here." After a pause, Faithful's voice comes back. "Right, lines are open, call in to complain, ask pretty much anything, or request music. If you don't do the last one, I'll just play whatever my paw hits and then you're to blame for the bagpipe rendition of that song with the hips." Faithful's voice is replaced by a heart warming rendition of ... Little Bunny Foo-Foo.

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"Stupid? Moi? Sounds to me you're just taking this whole 'stuck in a tree' thing a wee bit personally. I think we should take a cue from Dr. Phil and delve into the problem. Why did you go up there in the first place? Did Alanna forget to change your kitty litter? Did you not want to share your tender vittles with the other cats in the dorm? Did you get your most recent issue of Playkitty?"

"Have you considered seeing a psychiatrist? I'm fairly sure there's one working in the clinic here."

"Why should I when you're the one in denial?"

"One: I'm not in denial. Two: I spent the week following Alanna. Three: I was in the ceiling during Homecoming, spying on you all. Four: You're calling a radio station to bother a cat. Five: You find it amusing to bother people." There's a pause. "And cats."

So now you're in denial about being in denial and you are also a stalker, paranoid and... Well yes I am calling a radio station to talk to you but the last bit is probably feelings of persecution. Maybe paranoia. Though I must it admit it's amusing to bother you."

Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, sigh.

"You really shouldn't be reading playkitty on the air."

"That is wrong on so many levels that I'm not touching it with a twelve foot pole. Seriously, see a psychiatrist."

"I did. He advised I call into radio shows for advice."

"Great, your psychiatrist needs a psychiatrist. See the one in school? I think she's sane at least."

"But she doesn't have a radio show. Do you see how that's a problem?"

"Would you like to request a song?" Faithful's voice was oddly plesent. Possibly because his claws were currently digging into the chair he was on.

"Not really. Can't we just chat?"

"Sure!" Again, with the overly cheerful voice.

"So what kind of tree were you stuck in?"

"A dead one that had been turned into a building. I wasn't in a tree! I was near the roof of building! Which may have been a tree. Fifty years ago!"

"And how long have you had these delusions? Whoever heard of a tree being magically transformed into a building?"

"Ladies and gentlemen: the guy who will not be class valedetrorian! It's called construction. You take a bunch of trees, saw them, and build furniture and buildings out of them. Where do you think your bed came from?"

"Silly kitty. My bed's made of metal! You should know that since you've been spying on everyone."

Looong silence. "Not all. Only people who's name is Alanna and are from Trebond. I definetly couldn't care less if you slept on wood, metal, or the bare earth."

"And now we're back again to your obsession with Alanna. Don't you think that's unhealthy? I mean she's a girl, you're a cat. You're from two different worlds! You have to let her go Faithful! I know she changes your litterbox on a regular basis, but that's not love! That's just so her room won't stink."

Faithful took a very, very deep breath. Before he had a chance to reply to Jamie, he noticed that a second phone call was coming in, switching over for a second, Alanna's voice was on the line. "Jamie Madox I don't even want to know what goes on in your brain!" And she hung up. "What the girl said." Faithful said tiredly. With a thump.

"Hmmm. I don't know who this 'Madox' is but he sounds like a screwy character," Jamie replied. "Hey Faithful? Tell me if this sounds like someone hanging up on you."

*click*

*dial tone*

Faithful started plotting revenge.

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You're All Boring [12pm-2pm FHT]

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