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Turtle & Canary; Sunday [1/20]

Doom was prepared for the NFL's Championship Sunday. That is, he was ignoring it completely and might shoot anyone who talked to him about sports with magic fire. Apu, meanwhile, made sure there was a nice display with chips and dip and drinks.

Doom considered knocking it down. Meanie.

Today's Squishy flavors: Grape Judas, Cherry Doom, Pigskin (not made with real pig)

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"I am merely testing my own engineering and I am satisfied with it," Doom said. He deactivated the forcefield and fired a mystical fireball at War before using his jetpack to gain some distance on the other side of the counter. Where there were projectiles to throw from the aisles to make up for his inability of grasping basic fighting skills yes War was right shut up.

Wade was just happy get a rest. He sat on a can of beans out of the way and ate his cheetos.

His delicious cheetos.

"I kinda wish I had a video camera, the fanboys would kill for this footage."

Just for that, there was another TK blast aimed at Wade's face. "Silence, whore-husband," War proclaimed, seriously, because that made entirely too much sense. "You and I shall settle our score about Demi Moore later."

That would have been when he got hit in the head with a fireball, his head snapped back, and he growled.

Then lashed out at Doom.

With telekinesis, of course. There went an aisle. "TUNA CANNOT STAND IN THE PATH OF WAR!"

Doom activated his force field again, but all that did was protect him as he was flung back, sent crashing into bags of dog food. "IS THAT ALL YOU CAN DO? THROW YOUR OPPONENTS AROUND WITH YOUR MIND? THAT ISN'T WAR, THAT IS LAZINESS."

Doom picked up a can of Puppy Chow and flung it at War.

And Wade joined in by throwing a can of Goya red beans at War's head. "LEAVE MY HUSBAND OUT OF THIS, CREEPY MCBADTOUCH."

"HE IS A COWARD AND A WHORE," War raged at Wade, because it was the kind of thing to do, and batted both beans and Puppy Chow away with his telekinesis.

This sent them raining over the aisle of goods he'd just knocked over.

He shot forwards, moving to ~~pounce~~ leap at Doom. "THIS IS NOT LAZINESS," he proclaimed, "THIS IS STRATEGY!"

The force field went down so Doom could fire several concussion blasts from his gauntlets at the leaping War. "STRATEGY EMPLOYED BY A THOUGHTLESS BRUTE, PERHAPS." Doom's own strategy was rather less sophisticated than he would have liked, but he did have one at the moment.

Edited 2008-01-20 22:13 (UTC)

Wade just sighed and pulled out a sword. "You know, Turtle is going to kill us all for this damage, you know."

And ran to tackle War.

Concussive blasts smashed against his face, did little damage-- "APOCALYPSE NOW!" -- because that made sense -- but that tackle knocked War straight towards Doom, growling.

At the same time, his telekinesis lashed out to knock his attacker backwards immediately.

"A movie reference? AGAIN, I CALL YOU A BRUTE," Doom said. He reached down to pick up part of the shelves that once held pet food and swung it at War with all of his armor-enhanced strength.

Yeah...no. Wade just shook his head and tried to stab War in the neck again.

"Hey, that was a good movie! Actually, no. It wasn't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't lie like that. It was pretty crappy. Hey, how about a Die Hard reference this time? I love Die Hard! How 'bout you guys?"

The stabbing bounced off the telekinesis-- of course-- which lashed backwards at Wade yet again while War concentrated on banging a gap in Doom's force field with his fists.

Until, you know, he got hit in the face with a piece of shelf. "YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME, DOOM," he declared, "NOR TO THE VERY FORCE OF APOCALYPSE!"

He ripped at the shelf. If anyone deserved a bludgeoning weapon, it was War. "Is stabbing at my back all you can do, Wade?"

Doom was an honorable man, despite whatever villainous labels might be applied to him. So when he lashed out with a kick toward War's crotch, he felt, you know, kind of bad about it. It wasn't an honorable attack at all, but it was what the situation called for. Especially since he was fairly certain his force field was starting to fail. Timing was the important thing here.

"Pretty much!" Wade shouted, pulling the other sword to stab down into his chest. "Heeeey! Nice job DOOMy!"

Unfortunately for the both of them, War had learned his lesson after the last five times Wade had kicked him in the crotch.

Which is why the blow gleaned off his TK shield, and really, the fact that there was now a sword sticking out of his back was nothing new.

So telekinesis slammed back out again, and forwards, knocking at both his opponents. Next blow? A solid hole through the store. That would be so very satisfying. "There is nothing you can do to War," he growled, "I am eternal! Conflict drives me! This fills me with glee. I shall stay here, amongst the fighting!"

This gave Doom a little more room to work, of course. Technology had done nothing but keep him alive, brute strength hadn't helped much, so it was time to resort to magic. He put his hands together, interlocking his fingers in a particular way and called upon most powerful binding spell he knew. "YOU SHALL INDEED STAY THERE, HELD BY THE UNBREAKABLE CRIMSON BANDS OF CYTORRAK." He knew it wouldn't prevent War from using his telekinesis, but it should buy a couple moments for Professor Wilson to do something useful.

Possibly.

He needed more power, dammit.

"HOLY CRAP, WHERE'S DOCTOR STRANGE WHEN YA NEED HIM!"

Wade yanked the sword out and stabbed down again to keep from being tossed off.

Edited 2008-01-20 23:21 (UTC)

With an unholy roar (or something he would have dubbed an unholy roar), War... lingered were he was, trapped, and with an insane mercenary dangling off a sword in his back.

He was not happy.

Well, okay, the sword part, he could work with. The trapped part, not so much. "Magic never helped you the last time, Doom..."

He applied a horizontal shove to the man in question with his mind, "Why should it now? Don't you remember how to make a man bleed?"

Apocalypse probably had a school of linguistics for this kind of thing in his Horsemen.

"THERE WAS NO LAST TIME, FOOL," Doom said, his concentration breaking with the shove. As the spell began to fail, he declared, "YOUR APOCALYPSE MEANS NOTHING TO ME. IF THE WORLD IS TO END, IT WILL ONLY DO SO ON DOOM'S DAY! AND THAT DAY IS YET TO COME!"

As he shifted into a hand-to-hand fighting stance, accepting the inevitable that this would end close up, Doom realized that he had really been waiting his whole life to say something like that. He was going to have to make Doom's Day a holiday in Latveria after he won this battle.

Wade was just annoyed by all this.

"WHY ARE YOU BOTH SO STUPID AND CAPSLOCK?!" He shouted, punching War in the side of the head.

War did the logical thing and telekinetically flung Wade away from his back.

Logical. "There is no Doom's day! There never shall be! There will be only the AGE OF APOCALYPSE!"

He got up, sword still sticking out of his back, and smashed his fists at Doom.

That knocked Doom down as his force field finally ran out of power. He decided to use his new positioning to his advantage, though, and threw a haymaker at War's knee. If he could just take War off balance even shortly, he was sure he'd be able to press the advantage.

"WILSON! STOP WHINING ABOUT OUR SPEECH PATTERNS AND DO SOMETHING."

Wade landed in another pile of food. "But it's fuuuun!" He pouted, sitting up. "Fine, fine. You owe me so damn much, DOOM. Bodyslide by one."

After Wilson and 'War' disappeared, Doom picked himself up and flew back towards the sales counter. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but he did know that he had just fought a powerful being claiming to be a Horseman of the Apocalypse to a draw. He stood his ground and survived.

This was his first battle against a powered foe. He knew it wouldn't be his last. But if this was the best the world would offer, he had nothing to fear in terms of claiming his destiny.

There WOULD be a Doom's Day. He now knew it for sure.

All of which was pretty lofty thinking for a guy who just got his ass saved by Deadpool.

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Turtle & Canary; Sunday [1/20]

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