fandomtownies | The Beach [Wednesday morning]

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The Beach [Wednesday morning]

Max was not pleased about being on the beach today. Not because he didn't like the beach, but because he was pretty sure it was going to be a disaster.

He looked out over the water, pondering just how bad an idea this was. Really, he should know better than to let his pride push him into things. But after dealing with Anakin's idiocy last week, and then having Raven accused him of abandoning her, he'd been upset enough to agree to... well, this.

Well, at least there might still be time for the weather to turn bad. Maybe there'd be a tornado or a hurricane or something. Even if it didn't look remotely likely, this was Fandom, so it could totally happen!

But for some reason Max rather suspected it wouldn't.

[Expecting one, but open to anyone who wants to distract Max from the upcoming disaster... Or just hang out on the beach.]

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Max shrugged, as if that had made his point.

"I do not understand," Raven said, confused.

Max suppressed a sigh. This was frustrating, but... maybe he could help Raven understand things a bit more clearly.

"I'm sure that the feelings you have for your friends aren't merely lust, but it seems that it's only the lust that makes them uncomfortable. Does that make sense?"

Raven shook her head. "No, it is not lust, since I have not expressed that at all," she said. "Love can make people uncomfortable because if they do not return it, then they fear hurting the other person or making encounters awkward. That is why I call it inappropriate, for I do not wish to make anyone feel awkward or uncomfortable around me."

Even Max, but that was probably never going to go away.

Not likely, no.

One of the problems with this stupid local English language was that it was sloppy with some of its words. "Do you love your friends?" Max asked, "and do they love you back?" He wasn't talking about romantic stuff here, either.

"I do," Raven said. "I care very much for my friends, and Professor Skywalker, and Lady Aphrodite, and Lady Ghanima...but that love is not the same as romantic love."

Max nodded. That made sense. "So the only one you're... uncomfortable with at the moment is romantic?"

"It...hurts," Raven said, looking out at the water, blinking furiously. After a moment, she said, "Why are you so curious about that?"

"It seems the biggest sticking point," Max answered. "The thing that you seem least... settled with." He cocked his head, inviting her to contradict him if he was wrong.

"It is not a problem," Raven said with another shake of her head. "I do not struggle with that, I accept it."

"Huh." Max sounded surprised, but... pleased. She had been telling the truth. Raven had made quite a bit of progress since they last spoke.

"You are satisfied with my experience?" Raven said, not certain how to take his reaction.

"I'm glad to know that you have been learning." Not that she didn't have a lot more to learn, but it was a start.

"Then what do you suggest I do next?" Raven said, completely earnestly.

She'd already shot down his first suggestion, but they hadn't settled on the second one.

"I think you should focus on experiencing emotions without your powers. Just... like anyone else would." He cocked his head slightly. "Do you think you can do that?"

"I have been," Raven said. Hadn't that just been what they'd talked about? "And I will continue to do so. How will that help me?"

"I'm hoping that it will provide you a baseline for 'normal'. It will help you understand how much of a given emotion you should be feeling, and that, in turn, may help you to resist any temptation for more." Max raised an eyebrow. He hoped that made sense.

It did make a certain amount of sense, but.... "It is not only emotions that I have craved, however," Raven said. "It is sensation. Can you not undo what the vampire did? Remove the desire?" She tried to keep her voice steady, but her tone became desperate. She was afraid there was no way to reverse it.

Max eyed Raven thoughtfully. "It might be possible," he answered after a long moment. "But I don't think I've got a delicate enough touch to do it." Breaking things was so much easier than fixing them, after all.

"But... I don't think it's a good idea even if you could find someone who could do it."

"I do not want to feel this way!" Raven cried. "Much of the time I can ignore it, force it away. But all it will take is just a moment of losing control, and...." She couldn't even finish the thought. She'd rip emotions out of others to sate her hungers and leave them just a shell of themselves.

"We all have parts of ourselves we struggle with," Max pointed out. Maybe it would help if Raven knew she wasn't alone?

"I do not think quite like this ," Raven said quietly, shaking with the effort to keep herself calm. "Or that they had it forced upon them."

Max's eyes narrowed suddenly. "Do you think I became a functional paranoiac because it looked fun?" he asked, careful to keep his voice even.

"What do you mean?" Raven asked, actually glancing up to look at Max's face.

"Most of us are forced to change in ways we don't want by things we don't choose," Max elaborated softly. And... knowing some of the people he did, Max rather suspected that Raven wasn't the first girl to be forced into craving sensation.

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