Turtle and Canary, Monday

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Hank had been hard at work, and so the window of T&C was filled with a large sign reading

WELCOME, BENEFACTORS AND SCHOOL BOARD

FREE!!! SQUISHY TO EVERY PATRON
All school and office supplies 30% off!!!

He'd helped Apu tidy the store, and worked to hide as much of the strange merchandise and possible. As for the dairy aisle... well, he'd done what he could. Standing in front of the cheese was a large figure dressed in baggy sweatpants, a hoodie, gloves, and dark sunglasses, with every inch of exposed fur skin wrapped in bandages.

Turtle and Canary was open for business and ready for visitors!

Today's Squishy flavors: Red, White Grape, Blue Raspberry

Comments

[stupid-metroid.livejournal.com]

Apparently, Samus's mysterious benefactor was certainly paying attention to the events on the island and it had been advised to her that her Zero Suit wasn't exactly going to cut it for this next week, and she was not entirely amused to find a package with a letter and her old Galactic Federation uniform inside. However, the contents of the package also included a hefty check, so she donned it this weekend with a small amount of chagrin.

And an occasional tugging of the collar and fighting not to shift against the unpreferred wardrobe choice. She definitely did want to check in on the shop, though, to see how this 'normalization' might be go along.

She should have known better on a Monday.

"What did you do to that poor animal?" she asked, striding toward the counter from the cheese aisle with her head shaking.

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Hank choked on the Squishy he was drinking and stood up straight and alert. He didn't recognize Mr. Aaron without her battle armor on, so he assumed this strange person must be one of the benefactors.

"This animal, Ma'am?" he asked, gesturing at Turtle's terrarium, and then Jane's bird cage. "Or this one? They are the stores mascots and pets, and I assure you, they are well-treated. And they are also in compliance with all state health codes." He patted the top of the terrarium appreciatively, and then launched into his sales pitch.

"Welcome to Fandom Island, distinguished guest! And welcome to Turtle and Canary, the island's premiere vending establishment! Turtle and Canary has a wide selection of merchandise, to give you a shopping experience as unique and varied as the island itself! My name is Hank Venture. How may I help you?"

[stupid-metroid.livejournal.com]

Samus had always doubted how someone of Hank's caliber could manage to survive to his current age, and she figured if she ever needed to annihilate another race of Metroid, she'd see about cloning the poor boy and sending the clones out to whichever planet the Metroids had appeared and they'd all just starve to death.

She grunted faintly. "I hope that's not how you plan on addressing all the benefactors, Venture," she said. "You sound like you're trying to hide something. Are you trying to hide something?"

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

a) He hadn't actually survived to his current age, b) someone had already cloned the poor boy, and c) what he lacked in intelligence he made up for in pure genre-savviness.

"I resent the implication, Ma'am!" Hank insisted, indignantly. "First, you accuse me of abusing the store mascots, and then you accuse me of lying? I am insulted!!! I assure you, Ms. ..." He trailed off and looked at her expectantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?"

[stupid-metroid.livejournal.com]

"Aran," she said. "Samus Aran. Your boss. And the panda's not a mascot; he's an actual employee. I've seen the payroll."

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Hank stared at her without comprehending for a few moments, and then jumped as if he'd been bitten. "YOWZER! Mr. Aaron, sir! Ma'am! I didn't know you were a hot chick under the awesome battle armor!" He saluted, to show his respect.

"Okay, so, look: The panda -- you gotta love 'im -- is awesome, but there's the whole benefactors, hiding strange stuff, et cetera, thing. And he's not about to leave the cheese unguarded. So, just for today, we're pretending he's a burn victim. Don't worry -- it works every time. Total cliché."