fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary, Monday

On Friday, Mike had given the Cheese Panda an ultimatum.

Saturday, Mike had (handwavily) followed up on it, and had gotten as far as "Now,--" before he'd been backhanded across the store again. Instead of making headway on the panda issue, he'd (again, handwavily) spent the rest of the day being patched up and lectured at by the nurses at the clinic.

Sunday, he'd stayed in his apartment to recuperate. Some. He'd be "recuperating" for a long damn time, thanks to that panda, but at least he could stand up today without the pain showing in his face. That was important.

When Mike got to the store this morning, the first thing he did was go into the back and, despite Apu's objections, throw one of the circuit breakers. He sat down at the cash register and looked across the store at his handiwork: The panda was now sitting in a darkened section of the store. The lights above it were off, the ceiling fan had stopped spinning, but more importantly the incessant hum of the refrigerated shelves had stopped. It would take a little while, but the cheese would spoil, and THEN what would the panda do?

After a little while, he thought to put a sign up in the window:
NO DAIRY PRODUCTS THIS WEEK
Refrigerator is busted
We apologize for the inconvenience.

It made a lovely companion for the HELP WANTED sign that was still there.

Today's Squishy flavors: Gouda, Non-Violent Conflict Resolution, Red

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Who is grumpy and looking pretty banged up.

On his way to his office to drop some things off for class tomorrow, Hannibal passed by, saw the sign in the window, and decided an impromptu addition to his supplies might be in order.

He stepped inside and found someone who seemed to be in charge. "Hello. How long has your refrigerator been out of order?"

"Since this morning," Mike answered. He pointed at the darkened section of the store, as if he saw nothing wrong with the lights being out around the broken fridge. "If you want to grab something before it spoils, go for it."

The panda was sitting on the floor and pouting with its forelegs crossed in a huff. It might not even care what cheese he grabbed.

"Actually, I was hoping to get it after it spoiled," Hannibal answered with a small smile. "I'm giving a class tomorrow in food safety. I hadn't planned on including dairy, but it's probably a good idea." He looked where Mike was pointing and raised an eyebrow. "Is that a panda?"

Mike sighed. "Yup." He was just resigned to Fandom being strange, now, and frustrated with the damn bear. "I'd give him a wide berth, if I were you. He's having a tissy fit."

He gestured at the dairy products. "If it's not spoiled yet, just let it sit out. It'll get there."

Hannibal looked from the panda to Mike and back. "If I were to ask why there were a panda in the dairy case, would I regret it?"

He was a little more used to Fandom being strange, but somehow a panda in the dairy case was a different flavor of strange than aliens for students.

He wasn't apologizing for the pun.

Mike nodded. "Yeah, probably." He gave Hannibal an apologetic shrug and rolled his eyes. "He came with the place. If you buy the wrong brand of cheese, he gets violent. Don't worry, I'm handling the problem."

If this whole fridge ploy didn't work out, he'd shoot the damn thing.

"Don't worry; I'll only buy milk," Hannibal answered dryly. He approached the dairy case, keeping his distance from the panda, and picked up two fairly warm gallons.

"I take it you're new here, then. Or at least, new to the store?"

"New enough," Mike answered. "I've been here a few weeks -- don't get out as much as I mean to. Mike. Are you new, too?"

"I've been teaching at the school since this summer, but I live in Baltimore," Hannibal answered. "I'm afraid I don't normally stop at this store."

Mike nodded. "You probably don't want to buy your groceries here, if you live out of town. We've got plenty of other crap, though, if you need... well, just about anything. 'Convenience' is the whole point, after all."

"So far the only thing I've needed to buy on the island was a suit and a pair of boots," Hannibal answered, "since I hadn't planned for sharks to fall from the sky."

"Sharks," Mike said flatly. Not "Sharks? I don't believe you!" Not "Sharks? I hate this island!" Just... "Sharks." Because why wouldn't there be sharks?

He sighed. "I guess that explains why Apu put some spears with the fishing gear."

"Possibly," Hannibal agreed. "Then again, it could be because of the harpies," or whatever they'd been, "that showed up the weekend everybody on the island was deaf."

Because messing with people by telling the truth was so much fun.

"...And by 'harpies', I'm guessing you don't mean mothers-in-law," Mike grumbled. "You know, I'd thought I had seen just about everything before I came here."

Hannibal actually gave him a wry smile at that. "Yes, well, this island swiftly disabuses everybody of that notion."

Mike nodded and snorted. "It does at that."

He paused, and then looked at his customer. "I don't think I caught your name."

"Terribly sorry." Hannibal held out a hand. "Doctor Hannibal Lecter. I'm teaching cooking at the school here."

With your ever-agreeable host, Apu.

Don't have a cow.

Turtle & Canary, Monday

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Mod your shopping

OOC