The Beach, after sunset

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Looking for something different to do, Allie had made a few calls, picked up a cooler of drinks and headed towards the beach.

Yes it was dark. But at least no one would have to worry about sunscreen.

Comments

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan wasn't actually out of the loop enough to know beach party meant booze, at least in the most traditional sense of the word. So, yeah, when Allie called, he showed up. He was worried. He could use some distraction - as long as it didn't actually get crowded.

He came up the beach carrying a sixpack in one hand and a bottle of TruBlood in the other - though going by what he found as he got there, he needn't have bothered. "Allie!"

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Allie had been amusing herself watching the waves wash over her feet at the edge of the water. "Hey," she smiled. "You made it."

[not_a_whiner]

"You called," Kaidan said wryly. "I brought you some TruBlood."

He walked the rest of the way up to her, letting the bottle dangle from his fingertips.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Not a puppy biscuit?" Allie teased as she took the bottle.

[not_a_whiner]

"I wasn't going to rub it in," Kaidan said. "You know. Too much."

He offered her a small smile, then sat down himself, kicking off his boots.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Just pull it out on special occasions when I go too far into brooding vampire territory?" Because it was hard to brood when you remembered you once chased your own tail.

[not_a_whiner]

"Yeah," Kaidan said, with a little chuckle. "If I see you hanging around on rooftops, wearing too much black..."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Have you seen my closet? Black's kind of the theme. But," she said with false indignation. "I don't lurk on roofs. A park bench is just fine. Although I suppose tonight's a special case of lurking on the sand."

[not_a_whiner]

"It's hard to lurk on the beach," Kaidan said, clearly unaware of the years of brooding lurkers who did just that. "It's too nice out here. I think."

He let out a sigh. "But if anyone's going to be brooding, it'll probably be me," he said.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"What happened?" Allie asked, all teasing forgotten. "Grab a beer and tell me."

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan snagged one can of said beer and cracked it open. "It's Shepard," he admitted after a moment. "Just got a report saying he's gone through the Omega-4 Relay with his ship. Nobody's ever done that and lived."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Allie bit back her immediate response about bad pennies always turning up. "Do you think he'd do that without having some sort of plan?"

[not_a_whiner]

"No," Kaidan said lightly, "I just also don't think he'd think about it too long before doing it."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Shaking her head, Allie remembered some of their adventures in New Covington. "Considering some of the stuff I've done, I don't think I can really criticize him for that. Crossing your fingers and hoping for the best probably isn't the best strategy, but it's mostly worked so far."

[not_a_whiner]

"Yeah. I mean, if anyone's going to pull this off, it's Shepard," Kaidan said. He took another swig of his beer. "It's just, you know..." He paused. "Yeah, you do know."

Zeke, for one. Not that that was comparable in all aspects, obviously.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I do," she sighed, taking a drink of her own.

[not_a_whiner]

"Sure there's no kind of TruBlood with alcohol in it?" Kaidan asked wryly. "... I don't know, Allie. I'm still pissed, but I'm not, and I'm worried..."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"If only," Allie chuckled. "We could go on a bender. Make Jack look out for us both."

The thought was amusing, but there were more serious things to talk about. "It's understandable. You guys were close. And no matter how pissed you are, you don't want him dead."

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan let out another sign and sat back, planting his free hand on the sand. "Especially not a second time."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Allie sank down next to him. "Any chance we can go track him down somewhere? Or is it just a matter of waiting till he turns up again?"

[not_a_whiner]

"Oh, there's no way we're getting through the Omega-4 relay alive," Kaidan said. "Pretty sure he had to stock up on something special to think he could make that trip - and whatever it is, we don't have it."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"So we wait," she said, nudging her shoulder towards his. "And when he does turn up, we can take a trip. So you can punch him or lock him in a room and yell. Whatever will make you feel better."

[not_a_whiner]

"I don't want to punch him or yell," Kaidan said quietly. "I want him to come back to the Alliance, turn himself in, and admit he was wrong. In one piece."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

Allie took a sip of her drink and looked out over the water. "Then I hope for your sake that happens. Soon."

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan shot her a little glance, studying her expression. "You get any word from home lately?"

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Nope. Still on lock-down," she said with only a trace of the bitterness she felt. "Considering it took over a year and a half to get back the first time, I'm prepared to wait for a while."

[not_a_whiner]

"I'm sorry," Kaidan said. He took a long swig of his beer. "That... really sucks. Want to talk about it?"

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"There's not much to talk about really," she shrugged. "I just hope when I do get there, it's not too late."

[not_a_whiner]

"Sometimes it just helps to talk through your feelings, you know?" Kaidan said. "I mean, I bet you have plenty built up."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

That sounded like emotionally healthy advice, the trick was getting Allie to take it. Words were hard.

Allie bit her lip and sighed. "Maybe a few. I'm frustrated. Angry. Sad. Hell, pick another couple of unhappy emotions and yeah, I'm probably feeling them."

[not_a_whiner]

"Which one is getting to you the most?" Kaidan asked.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Honestly, they're not. Because I'm used to feeling like that." She scratched at the edge of the True Blood label, slowly peeling it off the bottle. "It's how I felt most of my life, or least once I was old enough to realize how bad things were and especially after my mom died."

[not_a_whiner]

"Feel guilty even then?" Kaidan asked.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"She registered so she'd get supplies to keep me alive."

In other words, yes.

[not_a_whiner]

"So, she cared about you," Kaidan said. "That's not your fault."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"There you go. Being all logical," she huffed. "I know that. But it still doesn't change how I feel."

[not_a_whiner]

"It never does," Kaidan said quietly, "But sometimes it's good to hear it, you know?"

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"The reminder helps," Allie admitted. "So does this. Although it's a really weird feeling and I'm having a hard time dealing with it."

[not_a_whiner]

"What is?" Kaidan asked, blinking.

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"Because sometimes, just for a minute or two. I can forget all the bad stuff and be something like, I don't know...content? Happy even?" She said it like it was a bad thing.

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan managed a little smile. "That's how it starts," he said. "Coping."

[allie-vamp.livejournal.com]

"You mean at some point I'm going to wind up being a real grown-up?" Allie teased.