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Caritas- Thursday daytime

Kitty usually came in to do non-bar tending work in the daytime, when she didn't have to worry about customers or watching things. She could just set up shop at a lounge table with a bunch of papers and her laptop and get things paid, etc.

And at this time she didn't have to worry about terrible zombie music so she'd set the sound system to play the only music she could find: karaoke background music.

[Not tonight's Caritas post! For one, but can be open.]

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After a week or so of sleeping around with various ~~NPC~~ citizens of Fandom island, Archer had decided that this island was the weirdest fucking place ever. He had also woke up somewhat hungover and was desperately in need of breakfast and a place where he could collect his thoughts.

Which is why of course why he headed to a bar.

"Wow. This is like the lamest strip club ever," he declared as he walked through the door. "No one is dancing and there isn't even a buffet."

"Well, it's day," Kitty said, looking over from her table. "Can I help you?"

"It's day? Because the whole sky thing is pretty weird," Archer replied as he headed for the bar. "As for help, I desperately need breakfast in the form of a Bloody Mary."

"Technically we're closed," Kitty said, getting up. "Which means you're going to have to tip well. Also the whole sky thing is outer space."

"Outer space? Really? How the hell did I get to a town living in outer space?" Archer wondered. "We're not floating on the back of a giant turtle are we like that ~~meta for~~ disc... place? World? Whatever that hobbit guy was blathering about."

"Nope. The island decided to take a jaunt and portals send you right out here instead of some town-sized hole left in Maryland," Kitty said, just phasing right through the bar because she had no shame. "It's a thing. I'm pretty sure we'll get back to Earth at some point."

"Wait so the island can-"

And that's when Archer realized Kitty walked through the bar.

"HOLY SHIT! Did you just walk through the fucking bar?!" he cried out. "Are you a ghost? Wait. No. Hologram? Maybe I'm tripping balls. Am I tripping balls?"

"I'm a mutant," Kitty explained. "I do that. You're not tripping balls, as far as I know. I just met you."

To be fair he's not tripping balls at this particular moment.

"You're a mutant! That's fucking awesome!" Archer said throwing his arms up into the air. "It's like I'm living in a Y-Person comic! Do you know anyone with a prehensile tail? Because that's possibly my favorite mutant power."

"Sort of." There's been a death, which was a little heavy at a first meeting. "You definitely have one of my favorite reactions to hearing that," she said as she made the drink.

"Who wouldn't have that reaction?" Archer said with a snort of amusement. "You know who wouldn't have that reaction? Assholes. Or possibly my mother. Who is also an asshole."

"Sorry to hear that. And thank you," she said, and slid him his drink. "I'm Kitty, by the way. Guessing you're new?"

"Figuratively speaking," he replied. "I'm Sterling Archer. Master Spy. Or at least formerly a master spy."

"Gave up on your job and decided to start fresh in a new town somewhere quiet?" Kitty assumed.

"That might have been part of the logic," Archer contemplated. "Pretty sure I quit-"

Normally this would be the part where the flashback would kick in and Archer's mother would be sitting behind her desk at the office listening to a long drunken and barely comprehensible voicemail from Archer going on for five minutes about being abandoned at a train station on Christmas Eve.

"Though how I got here, I have no idea. Blacked out and woke up in the park getting harassed by flamingos."

"Sounds about right." She wasn't a judger, anyway. "Have you at least had time to get settled in at all?"

"Well I was sleeping at this one woman's place but there were issues."

Cue flashback to Archer throwing all the ~~NPC~~ woman's clothes out the window while shouting about how breakfast was the most important meal of the day.

"Probably need a place to lay low. Make sure none my mother... uh. My enemies try to follow me here. Again. Master spy. Got any suggestions?"

"Well, you're in space, so that helps things some," Kitty said, tilting her head a little. Again, not judging. "There's usually plenty of apartments available, and plenty of jobs. Got a couple openings here."

Work in a strip club? Archer was so ready to cross that off his bucket list.

"You're offering me a job? Done! When do I start?"

He was so elated he didn't even consider that was a real job offer or not.

It was more of an opening for an interview in Kitty's mind, but eh. They'd employed a flamingo, like, why not.

"I've got Wednesday shifts open if you want to start next week," she offered.

"Awesome. Drinks are free right?"

Hey. He could dream right?

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Caritas- Thursday daytime

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