fandomtownies | The street outside Luke's, Thursday afternoon

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The street outside Luke's, Thursday afternoon

So Raven hadn't been home since Tuesday morning. Since her shift at the music shop, she'd mostly been wandering around town in animal form, dodging squirrels and people alike and occasionally digging food out of trash cans or taking naps in trees. Living on her wits in town was different from doing it in the mountains -- she could get meat without killing anything, for instance, which was nice since having killed things was why she didn't feel welcome in what was supposed to have been her own home, right now. And there were people around. Constantly. Even when she went out in the preserve she'd ended up dodging away from people (really, they had a whole house to themselves, why were Hardison and his partners hanging out naked in a tiny house on in the preserve). It was easier to pretend she didn't need people when there weren't any around. Instead, she got constant reminders of what her life should have looked like. If she'd made better choices.

So she was standing outside Luke's, looking up at the windows to the apartment, trying to decide if Kathy was home or not. Trying to remember if she'd left the windows unlocked, so she could sneak in and out of her room without being seen if Kathy was. Trying not to just walk in, collapse onto whomever happened to be there, and confess all the weird, creepy shit she'd done to get back to the island.

And maybe order an omelette. She'd really missed food she didn't have to cook herself.

[open, should anyone want to deal with a moody blue mutant]

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Hannibal was heading back home from his office, and paused when he saw her. "Ms Raven. Hello."

Raven jumped, then flashed him what she hoped was a normal looking smile. "Doctor Lector. Sorry, was I in your way?"

Hannibal smiled gently. "Not at all. I was simply pleased to see you and wanted to say hello. How are you doing?"

Raven shrugged. "Okay, I guess. You know. Considering."

She wasn't sure how much Hannibal might know about what she'd been up to. Sure, he was apparently married to Jono, but that didn't mean that Jono had told him anything, right?

"Considering you've had a very trying time, yes," Hannibal said. "I imagine it's quite difficult readjusting to life on the island."

"It's easier when you've got someone who was kind of there too."

It had been. So much easier. Dammit, why hadn't she just lied to Kathy?

"Yes," Hannibal agreed. "Although a nonjudgmental ear can help as well. If you'd like to talk, I am very good at listening." He smiled. "And cooking, if you were eyeing the diner for a particular reason."

Raven shot him a look out of the side of her eye. ". . . You're the shrink," she said after a moment. "I forgot about that."

In some ways, such as her perspective on the field of psychiatry, Raven was still very much in the 1950s.

"I won't hold it against you if you have a distaste for the field," Hannibal said. He grinned conspiratorially. "Most psychiatrists are terrible, I'll admit. But I am a very good listener. And I would very much like to help in any way I can. Jono cares for you."

"I know. I appreciate that about him." She really did. Jono was on her very short list of people who might even begin to understand what she'd actually done for the last year. "But I don't think there's anything I want to talk about right now."

"If you're certain," Hannibal said. "That's quite all right. "But let me assure you, the offer stands, whenever you might wish it. A completely private, nonjudgmental ear. Any friend of Jono's." And even if she didn't think Hannibal would understand, he had married Jono.

"And I'm still a very good cook," he cajoled.

"TA." Hardison ducked out of the diner, looking puzzled. "You forgot where the stairs to your place is?" he teased. "Or you an' Kathy plannin' on paintin' the exterior, too? I'mma tell you right now, I dunno if Eliot'll go for it."

Right. Because Eliot wasn't the biggest pushover on the planet when it came to them.

"I'm pretty sure Mr. Spencer will let Kathy do whatever she wants," Raven said. It didn't come out as joking as it normally would.

Nope and see Hardison's eyebrows go flying upwards. "You ain't terribly wrong," he said carefully. "I thought that was a good thing for tenants."

Raven shrugged. "I've never actually rented anywhere before." She looked back up at the window. "Or I guess now."

She was leaning pretty heavily on the "maybe it's better if I never go back" side of things just this moment.

"I know we ain't chargin' y'all rent," Hardison said slowly. "But I still think this counts."

He was starting to get the idea that something was going on here, but he didn't want to leap to any conclusions for sure before Raven explained. "Wanna go inside?" he suggested. "We could get some lunch an' talk about what's on your mind."

Raven's stomach growled, and she ducked her head. "I guess I am pretty hungry," she admitted. "I haven't eaten a whole lot this week."

What with the dumpster diving.

"Then let's get you a good meal," Hardison said. "If you feel up to eatin'...?"

He wasn't going to push food on her if she didn't want to eat, but if she was capable, he'd make sure her plate was never empty.

"Wanna talk about why you haven't been eatin'?" he asked, guiding her into the diner. "If you don't feel like cookin', I'm sure the staff'll send you up somethin'."

"I kind of . . . haven't been here," Raven admitted. "Not because the apartment's bad or anything, I just. . . ."

Had no idea how to explain without getting into 'your favorite TA is actually a killer' territory.

"Still havin' trouble adjustin' to settlin' down?" Hardison suggested, being the precious and naive infant he was.

Oh lord, he was like a giant teddy bear. How did Parker and Eliot survive living with such a giant, happy teddy bear?

"Something like that," Raven said. "Kathy and I had a fight."

He was the giant teddy bear that softened their rough edges?

"So, you givin' each other time to cool off?" he asked. "I mean, I don't know what y'all fought about, but you walked across a continent for this girl an' then brought her back to life. What kind of fight can stand up against that?"

It wasn't that he thought their fight was over something silly or petty, but he honestly had trouble thinking of what could be so bad that Raven would feel the need to leave the house.

"It's . . . complicated."

Actually, it was very very simple.

"I don't think she wants to see me, though. She said -- she said she didn't know, but I'm pretty sure --"

Who wanted to live with the person who killed your parents? Raven didn't even have parents but she most people thought that kind of thing was really fucking awful.

Hardison reached out to take Raven's hand with his, using the other to shoo the busboy away. And then point to the special's board. He could bring them something from there and not interrupt.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, little mama. You can let it all out. Why don't you think she'll want to see you again?"

Hardison liked Kathy, he really did. And he appreciated that she was having a rough time right now. But so help him, he would march upstairs and tell her to get her head out of her ass if he had to.

"It's not --" Raven tugged her hand out of his grip and used it to try to smear away the tears threatening to fall. Frustrated tears. Exhausted tears.

And yeah, maybe a bit of sad tears, too.

"You're not going to understand."

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