fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Wednesday [10/11].

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Turtle & Canary; Wednesday [10/11].

Things had been pretty quiet at Turtle & Canary for the last week or so, as Apu had been running the shop blissfully without the Merchant of Miracles. The Merchant had started to get antsy-pants, the very technical term for the wanderlust a travelling salesman was bound to feel after staying in the same place for too long. He'd hitched up the unicorns to his cart, headed over to Portalocity and did a tour back home for a bit, touching base with all his old customers and suppliers and marveling at all the missed opportunities that had passed him by.

Sure, this place gave him a real steady flow of cash, which was nice, but (and he can't believe he was about to say this), it wasn't all about money. For one, people here weren't nearly as gullible as, say, Daventrians or Tanalorians, and paper money was just so boring and not shiny. On the road, it was something new every day, some new challenge, some new sucker every day. Here was just...profitable and boring. He wanted profitable and exciting. He was a ramblin' man, couldn't keep a ramblin' man in one place for too long.

But he couldn't just up and leave. He had to get one last profit out of this place, which is why he had been hitting the papers and spreading a few things around to see what sort of pay-off he could get in selling the place. No responses yet, but they'd surely start rolling in any day now. Considering the business of this place, he was practically giving it away.

Meanwhile, he wondered if anyone would notice the oh-so-subtle uptick in the price of everything as he tried to get as much out of the place before riding off into the shinier golden sunset.

Today's Squishy Flavors
Wandering Watermellon
Frog's Breath
Red

Turtle & Canary is open!

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Thank you, come again!

Especially if your payment will be in the form of shiny gold coins.

Quark had secured himself a location -- by the seaside, with a lovely view of the water that wouldn't remind his customers at all that they had real lives with responsible ways to spend their money -- and was now exploring the town, checking out the competition.

Yes, stores that had little to do with the business he was opening were still his competition. Any money spent at another store was money not being spent at Quark's!

"What in all the Divine Treasury is a 'squishy'?"

It . . . actually sounded kind of nice. Especially the frog one.

Now there's a face the Merchant knew he hadn't seen before. And a face that he wasn't likely to forget any time soon. Yeesh.

(Because the Merchant was such a beautiful specimen himself).

Still, the opening for a pitch was the chance to bring the little guy to life in the best ways possible. "Interesting that you phrase it that way, my ridge-browed friend," he said, hoping onto the counter so that he could better gesture to the fine machine dispensing the product in question. "'Divine Treasury' isn't too far from divine treasure that is the magnificent slushy, squishy, flavorful concoction that is the Squishy, today in three unique flavors sure to tickle your taste-buds and make your palette sing! Might I interest you in one, my good friend? It's quite a large cut for a very reasonable," somewhat higher today than previous days, "price!"

'Slushy' was slightly less appealing than 'squishy', but a sample would be useful in making a replicator pattern so Quark could offer them in his own establishment.

"Is it slimy?"

The Merchant had visited the Hobblepots during last week's journey, so he paused a moment, eyeing the fellow carefully as he asked, "Do you like slimy?"

Ah, a shrewd business man. "I do," he said. "But hu-mans of my acquaintance usually don't. And this island is overrun with the things."

He hadn't quite decided if the Merchant of Miracles was hu-man or not. He was much shorter than most hu-mans he'd met.

The Merchant nodded as he listened, stroking his chin. Then he snapped his fingers and pointed. "Perhaps not slimy enough for a true con-nass-ear of slime and slime related vittles, but certainly slimy enough to appease one fond of a good slimy smackeral, in a convenient drinkable sludge. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, my friend, and there's a convenient smaller size available if the more popular size comes off a little," he waved his hand in an idle circle, " insurmountable."

Quark sighed. "You're overselling it," he told the Merchant. "Makes you sound as slimy as you're claiming this Earth beverage is. How much for the smaller size?"

"Better than underselling, amiright?" the Merchant asked with a grin, elbowing the air between them. "And for you? For a first time? I'll offer you a deal, a small size for just one crisp dollar bill! Or shiny dollar coin! Or whatever price equivalent monetary unit used by your kind that is honored by any quality currency exchange throughout the kingdoms or universe or dimensions, et chet-era, et chet-era..."

Quark had totally picked up some dollars at the bank already, fortunately. In coins because, seriously, hu-mans were weird but who valued paper as currency? He made a show of heaving a sigh and pulling out his coin purse to sift through, then looked up. "No dollars," he said, pronouncing the strange word like "dough-lars." "How about this one? It's reasonably shiny. Has some kind of quadrupedal animals on it wearing crowns."

It was a 50 pence piece from the United Kingdom. Someone at the bank had been having fun with him.

Oh, and the Merchant recognized it right away. He had taken a truly nerdish delight in discovering the variety of currencies here and what all their values were and how best to try to take advantage of them. But he made a bit a show out of not recognizing it at first, leaning in, squinting his eyes, and then brightening up when that 'flash' of realization struck.

"Why, now, that there's a good old fifty-p! Fifty pence! A fine coin, but a humble one, to be sure. I'd say about three of those would be enough to cover it!"

Yes, he knew that conversion was wrong. Yes, he was banking on this guy not knowing it. But if he did, then this guy was trying to stiff him first, so who was really to blame?

"That's absurd!" Quark didn't know anything about the currency, but he knew plenty about haggling. "Three coins for a cup that small? Highway robbery!"

"Nah," the Merchant brushed it aside with a wave of his hand. "Highway robbery'd be if you had yerself some quarters. It would be four of those to get one dollar! So, if you look at it that way, you're saving yourself one whole shiny coin."

Sometimes, the Merchant felt if you said thing with enough of a tone of assurance and knowledge, people just went with it.

Edited 2017-10-12 00:05 (UTC)

"What do you think I am, some kind of idiot?" Quark said. "Tell you what, I'll give you that coin and . . ." He sorted through his coin purse again and pulled out a nickel. "This one."

The Merchant didn't think he was an idiot; he had merely hoped he'd been one.

He blew a raspberry to express what he thought of that deal, crossing his spindly little arms over his chest. "That coin is a junk coin," he said, "you're better off just giving those away. Only thing junkier than that coin is a penny. Don't even know why they bother even having those coins..."

Except for maybe him to collect a bunch of them to convince a bunch of dumb people from Daventry and the like that they were totally super valuable.

"How about this," he offered, "you give me just two fifty-p's, and I'll take a couple of those junk nickles off your hands, lighten your load a little."

HEY IT WAS WORTH A TRY.

"And you can get the bigger size, too."

"Currency is currency," Quark said. "But by all means, if you don't value these coins, I'd happily take them off you." You were going to have to get up earlier in the morning to get one over on a Ferengi, Merchant. At least one with these lobes. "If the big one is worth two fifty-p's, then the little one can't be worth more than one."

"It's called cuttin' ya a deeeeal, pal," the Merchant sighed, shaking his head. "First timers' special. You can take it or leave it."

Actually, the Merchant might let up a little on the "Not Touching the Unicorns" thing, since he suspects people might be willing to pay a pretty penny for their last chance to have contact with such majestic creatures.

Oh, shit, now I'm sad about sending off a character I've barely been playing. Bad brain, no biscuit.

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Turtle & Canary; Wednesday [10/11].

Mod your Shopping - 10/11.

Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Re: Talk to the Merchant of Miracles -- 10/11.

Don't Touch the Unicorns! -- 10/11.

OOC - 10/11.