The beach, Thursday afternoon

[sexy_giraffe]

It was too hot to be on the second story of the dorm and so Tahani went to the beach with her sole remaining sun hat, a bikini she'd gotten from a tree that was at least two seasons out of fashion, and the rest of her clothing stuffed into single Louis Vuitton rolling luggage bag.

She was down to a single luggage bag. No one, aside from possibly Alexis, knew how she suffered.

She plopped down on the beach, pulled out a copy of US Weekly and wished that the breeze from the water was the least bit cooling.

[OOC: So open!]

Comments

[mother_forker]

While now Eleanor did not have a Louis Vuitton bag she did have a duffel bag that was virtually empty. Which is why she was wearing a swimsuit that was less about swimming and was once used specifically to start a fight between two ex-boyfriends. The only thing her bag was good for now was hauling all the crap she bought at the Kwik Mart to make the beach more enjoyable.

And hey, look there was one of the girls she threw mud at the other day. "Hiya Hot Stuff," as she stopped next to mud-girl #1. "You have that dry cleaning bill for me yet?"

[sexy_giraffe]

"Well, not with me," Tahani said, "I don't wander around with receipts like some kind of homeless vagrant," -- as homeless people often do, apparently? -- "but it will be expensive. Will you also pay for my hair appointment?"

[mother_forker]

"Hey, I'm not the one who made you get it caught in the barb wire," Eleanor said as she started pulling out her wares from her duffel bag. "Here, have some Cheetos as a consolation prize."

Try them. They're deafening.

[sexy_giraffe]

"They're so orange," Tahani said, recoiling in horror.

[mother_forker]

"And delicious," Eleanor replied as she now started pulling out margarita mix and tequila. "They are the royalty of orange snacks. Now most people will tell you that puffs are the best. I'm more of a crunchy girl."

She then held up the bottles.

"How about I take your mind off the lack of clothes and blistering heat?"

[sexy_giraffe]

"That looks slightly more appealing than the orange crunchy things," Tahani said. "Yes, please."

[mother_forker]

Pulling out plastic cups and ice, Eleanor poured out a margarita that was more cheap tequila than mix.

It's basically the white trash version of a margarita.

"Don't knock the crunchy orange things," Eleanor said taking a sip of her drink. "The orange stuff is the best part. So. You got a name or should I just call you muddy girl?"

[sexy_giraffe]

"I'm Tahani," Tahani said, coughing at the drink after her first sip. "Tahani al-Jamil."

[mother_forker]

"Wait. I know that name."

Eleanor turned and looked at Tahani in mild shock. "Are you Kamilah al-Jamil's sister?"

[sexy_giraffe]

Wow, that tequila was suddenly so much easier to drink!

"Perhaps," she grumbled.

[mother_forker]

"Huh."

Eleanor shrugged.

"No offense, but I don't see what the big deal is about her. I'm Eleanor by the way."

[sexy_giraffe]

And you were rapidly moving up in Tahani's esteem, terrible taste in snacks and alcohol aside.

"Thank you," Tahani said. "She's merely adequate."

[mother_forker]

That shouldn't last long. Especially after Eleanor skips out on cleaning the dry cleaning bill.

"Here's to being above adequate," Eleanor said toasting Tahani before gulping down more of her drink from her novelty plastic cup. "And getting shirt-faced."

[sexy_giraffe]

"Shirt-faced?" Tahani repeated. "Is that some sort of charming chav phrasing?"

[mother_forker]

"Nah," Eleanor said, squinting a bit as she looked out at the water. "I got my own profanity feature whenever I'm on this island. Makes no forking sense to me but neither does all my clothes disappearing. I'm in desperate need of underwear."

[sexy_giraffe]

Tahani blinked at that...aggressive American forthrightness.

"If I find a squirrel running around in my undergarments, there will be hell to pay," she agreed.

[mother_forker]

There was something very amusing hearing that uptight accent to threaten a rodent. "All right, Hot Stuff," Eleanor said, covering her laughter with a swig of her drink. "What exactly would you do to that squirrel wearing your designer lingerie?

[sexy_giraffe]

"Report it to the police," Tahani said immediately.

Because that would definitely work.

[mother_forker]

Okay. What Eleanor did was not exactly a spit take. It was close, but not quite. She managed to get her drink down though some of it went down the wrong pipe which caused a mixture of coughing and laughter.

"Yeah. Okay, I'm no expert on the cops here on the island? But I can predict what might happen," Eleanor said and then formed her hand in a shape where her pinky and thumb were jutting out just so it resembled a fake telephone. "Oh helllllooooo," Eleanor said in her best fake Tahani-accent. "Pardon me but I do believe my bou-doooooooir was invaded by rapscallion rodents who partook of all my finer undergarments. I believe one of them is even wearing my finest secret of Victoria!"

Eleanor then pulled away her "phone" hand with a look of fake disbelief. "They hung up!"

[sexy_giraffe]

"Well then I would call back and demand to speak with a supervisor!" Tahani said.

This was why the office moose hated her. This right here.

[mother_forker]

The moose has authority issues, yo.

“You know you’d sound bat shirt crazy doing that right?” Eleanor said as she crunched loudly on a Cheeto.

[sexy_giraffe]

The moose had taken to telling Tahani that co-workers they hated were their supervisors just to make her go away.

"Very well, how would you do it?"

[mother_forker]

"I'd lure the squirrel back with some rum and hit it with a rock," Eleanor said matter-of-factually as she noisily ate another Cheeto. "Show that forker who's boss."

[sexy_giraffe]

"But then you have a concussed squirrel in your underthings!" Tahani said.

[mother_forker]

Eleanor held up two orange encrusted fingers. “First: that’s what detergent is for. Second: not the worst thing that ended up in my underwear. If you know what I mean.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"I really wish I didn't know what you mean," Tahani said with a delicate shudder.

[mother_forker]

“Hey! Don’t be judgey! Also a handy tip: if a guy asks you to stash something for him ask what his stash is and where he’s putting it.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"But what if he's very rich, cute, and in Thailand?" Tahani asked.

[mother_forker]

“That seems oddly specific.” Eleanor said licking the Cheeto dust from one finger. “Being rich goes a long way but I once had a run-in with a Nigerian prince who needed financial help. And he was not, as it turns out, rich, Nigerian or a prince.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"Oh, those are scams, but I was introduced to this one by Leo," Tahani said, "you know, diCaprio. I'm sure Leo has good taste."

[mother_forker]

“Uh-huh.”

Sorry Tahani but at this point Eleanor is assuming you are lying. Not just name dropping.

“So Leonardo DiCaprio is into good looking Taiwanese guys with big bank accounts. That explains a lot.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"Thai--you know, it's probably not important," Tahani decided.

This was the sort of life choice that gets you saddled with Jason Mendoza, Tahani.

[mother_forker]

Hey, Jason is a complete hottie. Just dumber than a rock. Regardless: He's into robots.

"Sounds like someone needs a refill," Eleanor said reaching over with a bottle to top off Tahani's drink.