The beach, Thursday afternoon

[sexy_giraffe]

It was too hot to be on the second story of the dorm and so Tahani went to the beach with her sole remaining sun hat, a bikini she'd gotten from a tree that was at least two seasons out of fashion, and the rest of her clothing stuffed into single Louis Vuitton rolling luggage bag.

She was down to a single luggage bag. No one, aside from possibly Alexis, knew how she suffered.

She plopped down on the beach, pulled out a copy of US Weekly and wished that the breeze from the water was the least bit cooling.

[OOC: So open!]

Comments

[mother_forker]

That shouldn't last long. Especially after Eleanor skips out on cleaning the dry cleaning bill.

"Here's to being above adequate," Eleanor said toasting Tahani before gulping down more of her drink from her novelty plastic cup. "And getting shirt-faced."

[sexy_giraffe]

"Shirt-faced?" Tahani repeated. "Is that some sort of charming chav phrasing?"

[mother_forker]

"Nah," Eleanor said, squinting a bit as she looked out at the water. "I got my own profanity feature whenever I'm on this island. Makes no forking sense to me but neither does all my clothes disappearing. I'm in desperate need of underwear."

[sexy_giraffe]

Tahani blinked at that...aggressive American forthrightness.

"If I find a squirrel running around in my undergarments, there will be hell to pay," she agreed.

[mother_forker]

There was something very amusing hearing that uptight accent to threaten a rodent. "All right, Hot Stuff," Eleanor said, covering her laughter with a swig of her drink. "What exactly would you do to that squirrel wearing your designer lingerie?

[sexy_giraffe]

"Report it to the police," Tahani said immediately.

Because that would definitely work.

[mother_forker]

Okay. What Eleanor did was not exactly a spit take. It was close, but not quite. She managed to get her drink down though some of it went down the wrong pipe which caused a mixture of coughing and laughter.

"Yeah. Okay, I'm no expert on the cops here on the island? But I can predict what might happen," Eleanor said and then formed her hand in a shape where her pinky and thumb were jutting out just so it resembled a fake telephone. "Oh helllllooooo," Eleanor said in her best fake Tahani-accent. "Pardon me but I do believe my bou-doooooooir was invaded by rapscallion rodents who partook of all my finer undergarments. I believe one of them is even wearing my finest secret of Victoria!"

Eleanor then pulled away her "phone" hand with a look of fake disbelief. "They hung up!"

[sexy_giraffe]

"Well then I would call back and demand to speak with a supervisor!" Tahani said.

This was why the office moose hated her. This right here.

[mother_forker]

The moose has authority issues, yo.

“You know you’d sound bat shirt crazy doing that right?” Eleanor said as she crunched loudly on a Cheeto.

[sexy_giraffe]

The moose had taken to telling Tahani that co-workers they hated were their supervisors just to make her go away.

"Very well, how would you do it?"

[mother_forker]

"I'd lure the squirrel back with some rum and hit it with a rock," Eleanor said matter-of-factually as she noisily ate another Cheeto. "Show that forker who's boss."

[sexy_giraffe]

"But then you have a concussed squirrel in your underthings!" Tahani said.

[mother_forker]

Eleanor held up two orange encrusted fingers. “First: that’s what detergent is for. Second: not the worst thing that ended up in my underwear. If you know what I mean.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"I really wish I didn't know what you mean," Tahani said with a delicate shudder.

[mother_forker]

“Hey! Don’t be judgey! Also a handy tip: if a guy asks you to stash something for him ask what his stash is and where he’s putting it.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"But what if he's very rich, cute, and in Thailand?" Tahani asked.

[mother_forker]

“That seems oddly specific.” Eleanor said licking the Cheeto dust from one finger. “Being rich goes a long way but I once had a run-in with a Nigerian prince who needed financial help. And he was not, as it turns out, rich, Nigerian or a prince.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"Oh, those are scams, but I was introduced to this one by Leo," Tahani said, "you know, diCaprio. I'm sure Leo has good taste."

[mother_forker]

“Uh-huh.”

Sorry Tahani but at this point Eleanor is assuming you are lying. Not just name dropping.

“So Leonardo DiCaprio is into good looking Taiwanese guys with big bank accounts. That explains a lot.”

[sexy_giraffe]

"Thai--you know, it's probably not important," Tahani decided.

This was the sort of life choice that gets you saddled with Jason Mendoza, Tahani.

[mother_forker]

Hey, Jason is a complete hottie. Just dumber than a rock. Regardless: He's into robots.

"Sounds like someone needs a refill," Eleanor said reaching over with a bottle to top off Tahani's drink.