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The Devil's Nest, Tuesday Night

It was Tuesday, and the Devil was done sleeping off the weekend. It had been an inspiring one, especially near the end, as one could tell by the music flowing from his piano right now.

Well, maybe it had been that, and 'googling how to make anaemic pop palatable'.

Either way, you could kind of tell what he was playing if you squinted.

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That's why we're all here, isn't it?

Tonight's theme is fake vintage, yes. You're welcome to sing if you figure out what he's playing.

Edited 2020-07-28 06:36 (UTC)

If you want to catch him at the bar between songs.

An Eric, glowering.

Seivarden caught Lucifer at the bar, instead of draping herself over the piano as usual, mostly because that was where he was when she arrived.

"Good weekend?"

She hoped so, since Lucifer had turned off his phone on Saturday. Unless that was just being tired of texting about weddings.

Never leave your phone on when you're ~~having a meltdown~~ chasing criminals, Seivarden, it was a simple but useful piece of advice.

"A delightful one," Lucifer agreed, grinning into his drink. "I was happily entertained by a group of college seniors, I can't complain."

Seivarden grinned. "Good to hear."

She ordered a whisky from Tiny.

"And thank you for mentioning the bridezilla thing. Now a lot of the wedding orders make a lot more sense."

Lucifer made an amused noise. "Did you get swamped by wedding orders this week?"

"No, but I get them now and then, and often one of them seems a bit obsessed. I never realised it was the bride."

She made a gesture with her hand.

"At least being picky about flowers for a party makes more sense than trying to arrange one in a couple of hours. Summer tried to explain it to me though and I think I get it now."

"I did have a quickie Vegas wedding once," Lucifer mused, "For reasons that made complete sense, so it's not always completely irrational. Though now I'm terrified to hear what Summer has told you."

"You got married? Why?"

Seivarden wanted to hear those reasons.

"Oh, and since it was Summer it was a long explanation, but the part I got was that these days it's just a party to declare how much into someone you are. So I'm just going to treat it like that and never mention shotguns or unwanted children again."

"There's a bit much paperwork and other bureaucratic madness involved for it to be just a party," Lucifer said. "It took me over a year to get my two-week marriage annulled." Beat. "It was an attempt to con my mother by distracting her with my delightfully devious wife while I tried to figure out her plans."

Edited 2020-07-28 07:37 (UTC)

"Oh. So paperwork. I got the impression it was uncomplicated, or is bureaucracy just really inefficient?"

But then:

"Your mother? Isn't she some kind of... divine being?"

"Yes," Lucifer said. "To both. Getting married means you share all kinds of visitation privileges and other things because the law sees you as a unit. The police were calling me about her death - which turned out not to be her - a year later because I was still listed as her husband."

He took a sip of his drink.

"As for my mother, well, she had just escaped Hell by stealing a human's body, so she wasn't quite as divine as usual. Until the body started coming apart, at any rate." He grinned.

Seivarden, who was in no position to judge stealing human bodies, ignored that and said:

"So a party where you declare how into each other you are, but with legal consequences? Oh, by the way, should I assume that the person who is obsessed with the flowers is the bride? And if the people getting married are of the same gender?"

She paused.

"Do they ever have unplanned children by the way?"

"I wouldn't assume, that's an excellent way to get someone to hurl invectives at your head for being a 'sexist asshole'," Lucifer said, briefly lapsing into an American accent for a second. "And sometimes it is the men who get extremely neurotic. Groomzillas."

He eyed Seivarden. "And I don't know what you mean by that last question."

"Good to know. I don't want to lose another customer, and frankly it's a relief," Seivarden said.

"I just have the impression that people here have children only by failing to use or choosing not to use contraceptives?"

"Or when the contraceptive fails," Lucifer said. "Why?"

"I've just got the impression that that's the only way," Seivarden said. "And that contraceptives are unreliable."

Lucifer stared at her for a moment.

"Do they not teach Radchaai about the birds and the bees or something?"

Seivarden blinked.

"Birds and bees?"

"You know, where babies come from," Lucifer said... Sort of patiently. "When a man and a woman love each other very much, or they're terribly drunk, they do a naked dance and his sperm gets in her egg, that sort of thing?"

"Oh," Seivarden said. "Yes, of course. But you'd have to deactivate your contraceptive implants for that. Or you can use a tank, or have an operation so you can carry a pregnancy. Or hire someone to do it. Like in most places."

Options seemed very limited on Earth.

"You can hire someone to do it," Lucifer allowed, "and some women certainly get implants, but otherwise, no. Not here."

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The Devil's Nest, Tuesday Night

Have A Drink

Listen to the Music

Talk to Lucifer

Back Office

OOC

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