Seivarden Vendaai (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
1000yearstoolate) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomtownies2021-05-30 09:42 am
1000yearstoolate) wrote in fandomtownies2021-05-30 09:42 am
Entry tags:
The Park, Sunday Afternoon
In the afternoon, Seivarden took Issa to the park. It seemed like the cat had lost interest in climbing trees when she finally had mastered the skill, and now she preferred chasing the ducks, which she luckily yet had to get good at. Flamingos didn't exist.
She filled her mug with tea from the flask she had brought and leaned back on the bench, eyes on the cat. Yesterday she had gone to Nina's birthday party, mostly because her temporary roommate had worked so hard to arrange it. She didn't know Nina, and it felt like a long time ago since she had been an annoying student in her class, mostly because if felt like long ago since she had taught that class.
The other reason for going was distraction from Breq's absence. Seivarden sipped her tea and watched Issa standing at the edge of the pond, making noises at the ducks beyond her reach.
When Breq was here it was just the two of them, like it had been before they had gone to Athoek, when she had still tried to be useful so that Breq would let her stay, when she had still had just a little hope that she could be something more to her.
Seivarden cringed at the memory of offering to be that.
When Breq was in Fandom, there were just the two of them, no Ship, no real reason for Seivarden to be the go-between. Still, she did come to visit, had conversations, joined Seivarden in things she wanted to do, let her make her tea and slept in her bed. The least loved of the three of them, Breq, Mercy of Kalr and herself, it gave Seivarden some hope that things wouldn't change, because in this case, change could only be a bad thing. She had never been a favourite officer of any ship.
Her thoughts weren't about feeling sorry for herself, things had been worse, had been a lot worse. But Breq had asked her, back on Athoek, over tea, what she wanted to do in the future. And Seivarden had thought about it, and realised she didn't know. Well, she might want a child at some point, she had told Breq that, but most of all she didn't want things to change, she hadn't told Breq that, because changes would inevitably happen. And now she was here, her life on hold while things fast-forwarded back home, and she wondered if Breq realised that.
No, she hadn't told Breq that, because Breq would have pointed out what Seivarden already knew. She also was feeling a little bit sorry for herself, but it was just a little bit.
She took another sip of tea. The cat was still sitting at the edge of the pond. Seivarden suddenly smiled, the song Breq used to sing coming to mind.
She filled her mug with tea from the flask she had brought and leaned back on the bench, eyes on the cat. Yesterday she had gone to Nina's birthday party, mostly because her temporary roommate had worked so hard to arrange it. She didn't know Nina, and it felt like a long time ago since she had been an annoying student in her class, mostly because if felt like long ago since she had taught that class.
The other reason for going was distraction from Breq's absence. Seivarden sipped her tea and watched Issa standing at the edge of the pond, making noises at the ducks beyond her reach.
When Breq was here it was just the two of them, like it had been before they had gone to Athoek, when she had still tried to be useful so that Breq would let her stay, when she had still had just a little hope that she could be something more to her.
Seivarden cringed at the memory of offering to be that.
When Breq was in Fandom, there were just the two of them, no Ship, no real reason for Seivarden to be the go-between. Still, she did come to visit, had conversations, joined Seivarden in things she wanted to do, let her make her tea and slept in her bed. The least loved of the three of them, Breq, Mercy of Kalr and herself, it gave Seivarden some hope that things wouldn't change, because in this case, change could only be a bad thing. She had never been a favourite officer of any ship.
Her thoughts weren't about feeling sorry for herself, things had been worse, had been a lot worse. But Breq had asked her, back on Athoek, over tea, what she wanted to do in the future. And Seivarden had thought about it, and realised she didn't know. Well, she might want a child at some point, she had told Breq that, but most of all she didn't want things to change, she hadn't told Breq that, because changes would inevitably happen. And now she was here, her life on hold while things fast-forwarded back home, and she wondered if Breq realised that.
No, she hadn't told Breq that, because Breq would have pointed out what Seivarden already knew. She also was feeling a little bit sorry for herself, but it was just a little bit.
She took another sip of tea. The cat was still sitting at the edge of the pond. Seivarden suddenly smiled, the song Breq used to sing coming to mind.
My heart is a fish
Hiding in the water-grass
In the green, in the green.
Were there fish in the pond? Seivarden assumed so. Soon she would have to get Issa away from the pond or the cat would fall in.
[Open]
Were there fish in the pond? Seivarden assumed so. Soon she would have to get Issa away from the pond or the cat would fall in.
[Open]
no subject
no subject
"I'm fine. Have a seat if you like. I have more tea."
Perhaps some company other than the cat would be good.