fandomtownies | The beach, Thursday

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The beach, Thursday

Eliot was exhausted. But, like, in a familiar way, and one he was pretty sure he’d brought on himself for talking to the man with a literal evil eye staring out of him. He’d tried throwing himself into redoing the new house, but he could only take so much of Margo eying him with increasing annoyance and concern, so he decided to take himself for a walk, today.

Which eventually led to him sprawling artfully along a conveniently bench-shaped rock along the beach to enjoy a cigarette and the sunshine and all the ways this tiny little bumfuck town didn’t remind him of the tiny little bumfuck town he’d grown up in.

He’d gone to the seaside, he decided. To take in the air. It was all very healthy — so long as you ignored the cigarette.

[quite open, yes!]

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Sidon hadn't been spending much time in Fandom lately, and, even today, after fighting off fake bokoblins and moblins and lizalfos (oh my!) in class, he was eager to get back and perhaps pursue a skirmish or two with the real thing! Even so, he couldn't return to Hyrule again so soon without at least making the time to do some fishing before heading back; you just couldn't find fish like the ones that lurked in the vast Atlantic back home!

His foray had proven successful, as well, so as he rushed back to the island's shore and leaped majestically from the depths with an effortless flip to land in a crouch on the sand, he held up his mighty catch (about half his size, but, let's be honest, that was still pretty big!) to admire it.

"Marvelous!" he declared. "What a spectacular catch! And you didn't make it easy for me, either, did you, my fishy friend? Oh, the hatchlings will be delighted! And surelt Tulah will appreciate such a fine and majestic glimmer in your scales!"

He helfed the fish up over his shoulder and turned to set his course for Portalicity when he spotted Eliot.

"Oh! Why, hello! I didn't see you there! Fantastic day for a swim, isn't it?"

To be fair, most days were considered fantastic days for a swim for Sidon.

Eliot looked from the giant dude with a shark for a head to his cigarette, then glanced around for someone to confirm that they saw the giant dude with a shark for a head too.

Alas, he was alone.

"Bit cold for my tastes," he said slowly. "But looks like you had a good time."

"Oh, but justbyou wait until we hit winter!" Sidon declared. "This frigidity is nothing compared to those dismal, icy months!"

He sounded incredibly cheerful for anyone uttering the word dismal, really, and practically shuddered from toe claw to head fin just thinking of it!

"So I'll happily enjoy this while I still can!" He smiled down at Eliot for a moment before his head tilted. "I daresay," he noted, "I don't believe we've met!"

An introduction! This day just kept getting better and better! And with that, he launched into one of his favorite things about meeting a new person, besides the new person themselves!

"Well, then, allow me to introduce myself! I am Sidon!" Here, of course, he gave his fist a mighty pump against his chest and flashed Eliot a smile so brilliant, it probably didn't need the perfect glint of sunlight off his fangs, but it certainly helped! "The Zora Prince! And who might you be?"

Oh hey! An opportunity to introduce himself with his full title without sounding extra pretentious. Eliot sat up slowly and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

"High King Eliot the Spectacular of Fillory," he said, waving a blithe hand. "Pleasure. What's . . . a zora?"

"A king!" Not only did it not sound even remotely pretentious to Sidon's ears, but he sounded thoroughly impressed, as well! "Marvelous! And with a flourish! I have no doubt that you are every bit as spectacular as the word may imply, King Eliot! You know, I don't get to meet nearly enough fellow royals around here, though you must forgive me, I am afraid I am unfamiliar with your Fillory! You shall have to tell me all about it!

"And a Zora," he didn't miss a single beat, "is me! It is my people! We are a long-lifed amphibious race from a land called Hyrule! How fantastic that I shall have the esteemed honor to be your very first introduction to one! Splendid!"

"Splendid," Eliot agreed, highly amused, despite maintaining the same airy tone he habitually spoke with. "Fillory is a magical land far, far away from here, filled with talking animals and whimsy. Or . . . well, it was. The land is still magical and the animals still talk, but human magic went kaput when we murdered our gods. . . . Tell me more about Hyrule."

Sidon looked as though he were on the edge of asking Eliot about a dozen follow up questions when that last bit came in and his direction shifted about as smoothly as if he had been swimming on a current in the conversation.

"Ah, well," he said, "our gods are perhaps not quite so dead, but Hyrule is a vast ans wondrous kingdom, tens of thousands of years old, currently under the scourge of a hideous and infectious beast known as Calamity Ganon! Despite that, I should say we have our own brand of whimsy, and magic as well, but, alas! No talking animals."

Just giant talking fish and birds and rocks.

"It's a fantastic place, really, even with the blight of the Calamity, but I suppose I am a bit biased. I am even teaching a class about our incredible history this semester! We met just earlier today, in fact, and I had the students fighting bokoblins and moblins and lizalfos!"

Oh, Eliot's amusement was just never going to stop here, was it. His smirk shifted slowly to an honest-to-god smile as he watched Sidon talk.

He had a major weakness for people nerding out unironically, okay? The fact that Sidon was much taller than even Eliot was, and looked like he could probably pick Eliot up with one hand? Definite bonus. (Maybe Eliot could usurp the creepy nightmares from Jon with a very weird fantasy dream about Sidon, tonight.)

"'Calamity Ganon'," Eliot said, delighted. "Does he wear a cowboy hat?" He chuckled. "Fillory had its own hideous Beast for awhile. It was actually getting rid of him that got my friends and I crowned."

And, once again, Eliot's words had Sidon all set and ready to go down one oath at the first, only to shift dramatically down another, but no matter! He always had prided himself in going with the flow.

Calamity Ganon in a cowboy hat was definitely something to be revisited later, though!

But this other bit was of much, much greater importance.

"And how," Sidon's yellow eyes seemed to flash with a certain urgency underneath all that genuine interest in what was doubtless to be a great story, "pray tell, did you manage to accomplish such a task?"

Not that he had a deep seeded vested interest in getting rid of hideous Beasts that had overstayed their welcome for nearly one hundred years, or anything!

“Well . . . We tried commissioning a special magic knife, which required the crowning and then an arranged marriage — not recommended, I mean, my wife is a lovely woman, or was before our newborn child was kidnapped by fairies, but still — but when that got stolen by a vengeful hedge witch, we gave extra-powerful battle magic a shot. Only for one of my friends to, uh, burn herself out completely and become a being of pure magic. Then she ripped the Beast to shreds, tried to kill the rest of us, too, got taken out by a cacodemon, and tapped in a magical tattoo. I’m. . . pretty sure she’s all better now, though.”

Well, that was all certainly...a lot, and seemed rather...circumstantial, and really not too terribly helpful or applicable. But still, Sidon listened intently, thoughtfully, one clawed finger tucked against his chin as he nodded here and there and considered it all with the utmost gravity.

"I...see," he finally said, slowly. "We've trie da special sword called the Sword the Seals the Darkness and a great and powerful ancient magic derived from the Goddess Hylia herself, as well as four mighty Divine Beasts wrought from ancient technology and piloted by the strongest warriors in all the realm, but it still was not quite enough. They say the Princess still holds the Calamity at bay deep within the confines of Hyrule Castle, so there may still be a chance!" He smiled a bit at that, the relentless posivity shining through, and then he laughed a little, pumping his fist. "Yes! She may still have the chance to rip Calamity Ganon to shreds, although it would be ideal if she could skip the whole trying to kill the rest of everybody in the meantime."

And, almost as if his thought process was just leaping like a hot-footed frog from each detail of Eliot's tale to the next, he then simply had to ask, "What's a cacodemon?"

Sorry, Sidon, Eliot was still smirking over 'Calamity Ganon'. It was going to take him a moment to settle back into listening properly.

"A . . . demon," he said. "Fire-based, I think? I was still stuck in Fillory while the others got the details on those. And the cacodemons themselves. Apparently they're very one-and-done, though, as everyone but Quentin managed to waste theirs trying to murder each other when we were under the influence of the cursed thrones."

Sidon's narrative said 'a lot' like all of this hadn't happened over the course of about three episodes of Eliot's canon.

Meanwhile, over in Sidon's canon, the hero ends up wasting literally hundreds of hours tracking down little forest spirit poops while the Princess is barely holding on...

...but, hey, it's been a hundred years, what was a few hundred side quests more?

"I see," said Sidon again, though with far more confidence this time and an assured nod. "Nothing quite like that that I can think of in Hyrule, unless one were to consider Wizrobes, but, then again, I have never personally traversed the more fiery regions of Death Mountain, so who knows what may lie in wait in those magma-drenched crags and cliffs? Still, it is very clear that not all Hideous Beasts are created equal, but you've certainly given me some food for thought regarding our own great Calamity, King Eliot, so thank you, wholeheartedly, for sharing with me your tale! It seems as though you have lived a most interesting life thus far, indeed! Which then causes one to wonder what it is that may have brought you from your eventful kingdom here to the far shores of this fair island? A tale just as rife with danger, adventure, and high stakes, perhaps?"

“Oh, absolutely rife,” Eliot said dryly. “My High Queen got banished here by a god having a hissy-fit, so I made a deal with a fairy to follow her. And yourself?”

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The beach, Thursday

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