fandomtownies | Caritas; Wednesday [03/30].

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Caritas; Wednesday [03/30].

Oh, Summer had definitely relied on the Jello Shot maker today. Seriously, who had the time? Everyone was just lucky she even bothered to show up for her shift that week and didn't just leave you all to suffer, jello-shot-less and with Tino!

Well, actually, no, Summer knew it was a good thing to take a few breaks here and there, because she knew herself, and, if left to her own devices for too long, there was a good chance things would start to get...real weird, to the point where it mmight lead certain boyfriends to start questioning the entirity of the past year and a half, and she didn't need to cross those bridges if she didn't have to.

So coming to the bar would be a nice break, where you'd better believe she was going to channel a lot of this energy into making sure anyone who did show up didn't stick around for long if she could help it (and preferrably not leaving alone, either!), so she could ditch Tino with the last remaining straggler without feeling too bad about it.

Actually, she wouldn't have felt bad about it either way, but she'd at least feel better about it?

Anyway, she was here. There were shots. They weren't fancy because they were mass-produced for efficinciency, but, hey, come on. What more did you want from her this week?

....don't answer that. She had a boyfriend!

Wednesday Jello Shot Specials!

First One Free for Everyone this Week
because OMG why are you HERE?

Sex on the Beach
Porn Star
Blow Job
Red Headed Slut

Caritas is open!

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Was going to the bar during this week a terrible idea? Yes, yes it was, and Yang knew that.

But it was either go out and get plastered, or sit around in her new apartment feeling sorry for herself.

"Of all the weeks for me to finally get an apartment here on Fandom, and not live just over the Causeway," she said, bemused, as she grabbed a seat. "Summer, you delightful human, I will take one of everything."

"Oh, Yang, sweetie," said Summer with a wry grin, setting out a line of shots, "you glorious individual, you're going to want way more than that, but..."

She shoved the line forward toward her.

"That's a great place to start. Talk about timing, though, ooof."

"This is a perfect place to start, to get me either shitfaced enough I go back to the mainland and find a bar fight or three, or get sleepy enough I go home and pass out," she said, laughing. "I knew you'd have amazing shots, given the theme."

She picked up the first one, saluting Summer with it. "Cheers. Here's to being single on the worst week ever."

"I meeeeeaaaan," said Summer, "counterpoint, it could i>not be a barfight. Or it could just start as one, I don't know you that well, you could be super into that, which....hot. But I have a feeling someone like you would not have a problem on the mainland, like, at all, Yang, not even on a Wednesday. And I definitely saw a sale sign in the window at Dite's. That place has gotten me through a looooooot."

Like, how'd you like to experience eight whole months of pretty much the equiviant of non-stop pollen? A week was nothing, goddammit. AMATUER HOUR.

"Look, sparring with someone is one of the best preludes to sex ever, and I will die on that hill," Yang said bluntly, downing her shot and reaching for the next one.

"...but off island? This--" she wriggled her yellow robotic fingers at Summer. "Turns a lot of people off real fast. And the ones that don't immediately bail get weird about it, like I'm breakable, and that's even worse. The last thing I want is pity-sex."

"It is literally impossible for me to imagine anyone having sex with you out of pity," Summer declared, kind of definitely wishing it was a little more impossible to imagine sex with Yang at all, but, no, no, that was definitely very possible, especially right now, and, ah, yes, there's that nice little spark of resentment for not being single at the moment again! Seriously, though, she could be cleaning house right now. Siiiiigh.

But her nose did wrinkle in apology. "I kind of forget sometimes how lame the normie population on the otherside of the causeway is, though."

A beat, as she tried to decide if a) what she was about to say was horrible and b) if she cared.

"....you ever thought about getting some, you know, enhancements on that thing, though?"

WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING WEIRD ABOUT IT, YANG?

In Summer's defense, this was a very different kind of weird.

Edited 2022-03-30 17:46 (UTC)

"I mean, it's military tech, that's not the sort of thing they develop or encourage," she said with a wink. "Doesn't mean I haven't considered trying to make some upgrades."

YANG. NO. DON'T FLIRT WITH YOUR BARTENDER SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND.

"But if you know anyone who'd be interested, send them my way. I'm thisclose to seeing if the Portalocity gnomes have made an interdimensional Tinder yet, so I can go somewhere less..." Yang made a helpless shrug. "Mundane? Is that the right word for them?"

"I meeeaaaan," said Summer, with a smirk right back, "I might actually know a guy."

You know, the said boyfriend in question. And his ear might burn right off his head if she tried to put him up to the task, but she liked to think she could be pretty convincing.

"Also, I do have a list of previous hook up spots across the multiverse that has been going to waste these days," she added. "Like, how do you feel about cat cafes that exclusively sells pancakes served by hunky waiters without shirts?"

What? It was very healthy for a woman to know exactly what she liked!

"First, I'll need more shots. Then I need the number and location of that cafe," Yang replied. "...as long as they're not actual cat-boys. That's a little too close to, um, an ex from home."

"Not actual cat-boys," Summer confirmed, and, damn, there was an unscratched itch that did not need exploring, and yet there she was! She was...just going to focus on the idea that the cat cafe wasn't going to be squandering away unused now.

She was trying to, anyway. Kind of hard to pull yourself away from the will cat-boy role-play be the brdige to far? once you kind of hit that edge.

But she did set up another line and shove them Yang's way.

"But if you do go, and Adrian's still working there, you do not know me."

"You got it. I'll just tell them I heard about it from a bartender, that way it won't get back to Adrian, regardless of who's working." Look, there were multiple clubs back home where Yang's name was banned. She knew how this worked.

"Like, do you have bartender report cards? Can I give you an A+ in being a solid wingman?"

"Pretty sure," Summer said, nudging a jar forward on the bar with her elbow and a wink, "bartender report cards come in the form of tips. But if you wanted to put in an additional good word with my boss, she's here on Tuesdays."

"Bartender gets tipped whatever my final bill is, so just keep the shots coming," Yang laughed. "Most bars love me."

When she wasn't busting them up for Reasons.

"...and if any likely candidates come in before I go bother the shirtless cat cafe boys, send them my way?"

"Important question," Summer then added, "how picky do you want to be? Because 'likely candidates' is a broooooad net on a week like this, and I gotta know: are we in an open to anything kind of mood, or is this a good opportunity for me to do due diligence in preventing any 'I've made a terrible mistake' moments?"

Sometimes, though, you just kinda had to have those terrible mistake moments, too.

Luckily Prompto and the boys all seemed to be paired off with other people, reducing THAT potential chaos...

"No blond boys, or black haired girls," she said finally, taking another two shots in quick succession. "Anyone else human or human-adjacent has a fair shot."

Not true! Gladio was still very much a free agent, and she had Apu ready on speed dial for an emergency delivery of Cup Noodle^TM bait at a moment's notice, buuuut...

Summer took this information in with a nod and a little bit of a curious narrowing of her eyes before expanding on this with a very important, "And where would, say, Sidon fall for you on the human-adjacent scale?"

Look, knowing a person's preferences for giant naked sharkmen was a very good margin to work with! And if this conversation only served to expand horizons beyond where they would have naturally gone, then, you know what? You're welcome.

Yang considered it for a moment. "He was one of my best friends when I was a student," she said slowly. "If it wouldn't be weird afterwards, I'd be down."

"But I don't really want to lose the few friends I've got, you know? And I'm definitely not looking for anything serious."

Her 'love' life was enough of a mess, thanks.

Summer nodded with understanding, lifting a hand. "Just as a base for comparison," she said. "I'm pretty sure he's currently really the only viable obvious-non-human around at the moment, but hey, you never know what might walk through that door."

Beaker could walk through that door.

"Yeah, no, my world has lots of sentient persons with animalistic traits, to the point they're considered their own species. Sidon wouldn't even get a second glance there, except to admire how ripped he is."

Wait, that part was out-loud, and Yang had to go for another shot to distract herself from that thought.

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Caritas; Wednesday [03/30].

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