fandomtownies | Caritas; Wednesday [07/20].

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Caritas; Wednesday [07/20].

Of course the meat seltzers had somehow made their way to Summer Smith. How could they not? How exactly they'd gotten to her, however, was a question for the ages. It was probably a good case that, when depositing hazardous waste materials, it's was very important to follow proper procedures, Tino. You never know where that shit might end up.

Except, well, everyone saw this coming, right?

And Summer didn't even feel the slightest bit bad about it, either. If anything, she knew at least one of her regulars was going to go nuts for these. That said, it did make her actually feel it was a good thing the chocobros were dimension-blocked at the moment, because she was pretty sure it would give Ignis an existential crisis to learn he kissed a mouth that had also enjoyed meat seltzer jello shots.

She also probably could have just....you know...not, buuuut....

Naaah.

She couldn't disappoint the masses, after all....

Wednesday Jello Shot Specials!

First One Free to All Wednesday Activity Participants!

Oscar Mayer Meat Seltzer Shots!
Ham & Cheese
Original Bologna
Olive Loaf

Also some vegan ones
to restore the balance
(Gin and Tonic, Cosmopolitan, Champagne flavors!)

Caritas is open!

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Where, really, if you're going to have a zombie band, that just sets the precedent for things like meat seltzer also coming back from what should have been their grave.

Where the Olive Loaf shot is even garnished with a little olive.

But only RIPE olives.

From California!

It's as far away as you can get from the meat seltzer jello shots in the bar without also having to go near the stripper pole.

Because being near the stripper pole is worth being away from the meat seltzer shots.

Obviously best served with a nice slice of balogna cake.

“Who’s Oscar Mayer?” Goose asked by way of greeting as he read those specials because yes he was very interested in trying those meat seltzer shots.

Actually he’d try the vegan ones too but the meat seltzers had his attention at the moment.

Sorry Ignis.

"I don't know," said Summer, "some guy who makes bologna?"

She was unaware of whether or not Oscar Mayer was even a real person, which was something you'd think such a connoisseur of ancient terrible food history would know. But she clearly couldn't be bothered to google it at that moment.

"It's a brand," she offered, "of processed meatstuff."

Knowing that that alone would sell Goose on it, she was already lining up his shots.

Goose was definitely sold on it, not that that really took much convincing, “then I’m definitely interested in trying it …maybe there could be even extra shots of meat seltzer?” He asked hopefully as he went for his first shot ... deciding to go with the original bologna first.

His healing factor never stood a chance.

"There will definitely be plenty extra," Summer assured him, fairly certain he might be one of the only ones actually having those shots anyway. She started lining up the vegan ones, too, as a sort of palate cleanser before they dove into Round 2 later.

"So how've you been, Goose? How's your week?"

“Not too bad,” Goose considered as he tried the bologna shot and then immediately went for the ham & cheese, so he was definitely enjoying those meat seltzer shots a little too much, “got to set a pan on fire in class yesterday,” he added.

Goose being in Beaker’s class was a dangerous thing.

“How about you?” he asked, “how have you been?”

Summer shrugged a little. "Feeling a bit more chill this week," she admitted, "so that's nice. And when you say got to, do you mean the setting the pan on fire was intentional, ooorrrr.....?"

She felt it could go either way, with Goose.

"It was part of the experiment," Goose explained, "there was this contraption and you put it in to see if melted or burned, the pan did a bit of both ... even though there was a lot more burning involved," he admitted.

"You know what?" Dwight asked as he sat down at the bar. "This might be the first time I willingly pass on the jello shots and stick to liquid drinks."

"Not even the vegan ones?" asked Summer, brows shooting up. "Harsh, brah."

But then that surprised expression turned into a grin, "But don't worry, the meat ones come in cans, too."

Don't mind Summer now subtly nudging a can of Olive Loaf Seltzer across the bar Dwight's way.

"Well, I would hope so," said Summer. "Isn't the whole point of a pan to be able to withstand the heat? I mean, I'd be a little pissed if, there I was, cooking up some burgers or pancakes or whatever, and then all of a sudden, my fucking pan melts. Like, fire, fine, okay, you're dealing with organic materials and heat, that makes sense, but fucking melting? That's a bad pan right there."

Eddie scraped together enough money hustling the teens at the arcade that he could finally head to a bar. He thought he had more than earned a beer after all of this shit.

And he would be sticking to beer, after seeing the specials. Gross.

"Cheapest beer you have, please." What were these prices?

(They were 2022 prices, Eddie.)

Hooray! Inflation!

Luckily, Summer always had a good stock of generic beer close at hand, and didn't hesitate for a moment to set one down in front of Eddie, looking him over to confirm that this was definitely a new face, and, considering the that opening line, threw in a, "You know, I throw in a free jello shot if you do karaoke, too" for good measure.

Granted, half the jello shots tonight were meat-based, so maybe not the best night to promote that to a newb, but you never knew!

Goose tilted his head, “huh, it would be a bad thing if the pan melted completely, I think I got a bit carried away with the burning though, even though that robot did put it out before the fire spread … the melting part was new though,"

"Something without meat and seltzer in the title at the same time, I might be convinced." Dwight looked at the can and then gave Summer a look. "You do remember my Trouble is a bullet magnet trouble right? I'm not a supe. I don't have an iron stomach or anything like that" he said with a slight chuckle.

Eddie glanced up at the specials board. "Ma'am, I would do karaoke to not get one of those shots."

"The vegan ones," Summer submitted, with a faint smirk because...fair. That was fair. Mostly, "aren't really that bad, you know. And I feel anyone whose immediate response is 'eeww, gross, vegan" clearly has not looked into what goes into actual gelatin. Like, honestly, it's all a little hypocritical when you get right down to it. The only difference is when you take meat by-product and grind it down into a gelatinous substance is that you're not actually tasting it, but it's still there."

She flashed Eddie a smile, held out a hand.

"I'm Summer, by the way," she added. "You're new around here, right?"

"Literally none of the vegan ones have anything to do with meat," Summer assured him. "That's kind of the whole meaning of the word. But there's a gin and tonic one, a champagne one, and a cosmo one."

In fact, she was setting those ones out on the bar now as if to prove it.

And because usually that worked with most people; if she set them out, they felt more obligated to actually have them.

"If your stomach can't handle those," she stated, "then you might want to get that checked out."

"Like I said," said Summer, "the melting part is either really impressive or just really shitty equipment. But, hey! All for the sake of science, right?"

Rey was eyeing the specials board real warily. It actually looked like maybe she was thinking of backing out.

She'd eat most things, happily! But.... but.... standards.

Summer, Eddie didn't even know what vegan meant.

"Eddie," he said, shaking her hand. "Yeah, been here about...a week now, I guess? Long enough to both be weirded out and be okay with it."

Kind of. The pot from the teenagers helped.

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Caritas; Wednesday [07/20].

The Stage - 07/20.

The Bar - 07/20.

The Lounge - 07/20.

The Back Room - 07/20.

OOC - 07/20.

Re: The Bar - 07/20.

Re: The Bar - 07/20.

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