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Pizza Planet, Friday

Raiden's first response upon looking at the pantry this morning had been to turn around and walk out, yelling for Tito. An extensive discussion on why the delivery had even been accepted later, Raiden had decided that it was okay. It was fine. He could work with this. It was fine.

Specials
Spicy Thai Cicada Pizza
All Wheat Cricket Pizza
Neapolitan Ant & Scorpion Pizza

Everything was fine.

Pizza Planet is open! And definitely still also serving their regular menu.

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"Do you have anything good for squirrels?" Stark asked when he came in, Squirrel!Summer carried safely in his non-injured arm.

Then he looked at the specials. "Oh, no."

"Yeah, not those," Raiden agreed.

Although squirrels might eat bugs, he didn't know. It hadn't come up when he was working on the Reporter Special, because he had never planned to put bugs on pizza. He had limits. And then he blew right past those limits, because Gluttony.

"It's not quite ready for the regular menu yet, but I could do up a Reporter Special. The groundhogs that were extorting Rey seemed to like it."

"This is Summer," Stark said, nodding to the squirrel who nodded in turn. "I thought she might like some pizza. I don't think she wants bugs."

The squirrel did not want bugs on her pizza even if she did sometimes eat flies in her ice cream. Those were some very insistent chitters.

"What were the groundhogs doing to Rey?"

"Oh, I dunno exactly, holding her obstacle course hostage I think? She offered them pizza to go away." The first part of what he'd said finally registered and Raiden told Summer, "Hi, Summer! Did you piss off a witch or something?"

Then he looked back to Stark and asked him, "Can I put in anything for you, too? The Reporter Special is, y'know...it's sized for squirrels." He indicated with his hands, or tried to. His mitts were not really sized for miming something that small.

"No witches." Stark shook his head. "I don't think there were, anyway. She just turned into a squirrel during class on Tuesday."

And then went home with him after telling him the day before that she needed a little space and everything was confusing, especially with Travis staying there to rest.

"What's on the squirrel pizza? It's not full of rum somehow, is it? And... something with vegetables for me, I think."

"No, it's--I don't think there's any nutrition in rum. I mean, it's delicious, but I figure they need like...vitamins and stuff. So I'm making them pizza!" Raiden pulled out an extremely tiny menu with, in even tinier font, a list of toppings options like 'dandelion greens' and 'beet greens' alongside somewhat more standard offerings like 'bell pepper' and 'asparagus.' "It's on a crust made out of acorn flour, but I haven't...I haven't exactly figured out the cheese situation yet. The latest is small amounts of regular cheese might be okay? I'm not feeding them vegan cheese. They'll say mean things about me on the radio."

Raiden made a mental note to look up whether squirrels ate bugs so he could stock some mealworms or whatever for the Reporter Special.

"I can do one veggie pizza for you and one Reporter Special for Summer?" he offered. "Does she have like a favorite topping that's safe for squirrels?"

"I wouldn't say mean things about you on the radio," Stark said. "Even if there were vegan cheese on the pizzas. Are any of your squirrel-safe toppings pink?"

She was still Summer even if she had a fluffy tail at the moment, after all.

"I didn't realize you were making pizzas just for squirrels. I'm sure they'll like that."

Some unsavory raccoons (or maybe even Keith) might like them too.

Raiden squinted at the menu. "The rose hips, maybe?" A totally normal thing to put on pizza, if you were a squirrel. "I could do that and some dandelion greens, make it like a floral theme." Sized for a squirrel. "Would you like that?" he asked Summer, since he was unsure if she could understand him or not and didn't want to be rude.

"I just don't want them to be hungry, and it seems like all they do is drink rum and spy on people. They need food. To soak up all that rum, if nothin' else, y'know?"

"Oh, man, Danny would kick my ass if I brought these home," Steve said.

"That would be fair," Raiden agreed. "Look, I didn't sign for the delivery." So it wasn't his fault that today's specials had...all those legs...

"I keep hoping someone's gonna come in and just be thrilled because they're an insectovore or broken inside or whatever."

Steve burst out laughing. "Sorry to disappoint, brah."

"Are you sure? The cricket flour's full of protein!" Because it was made out of crickets. "In some cultures eating bugs is very normal...of course, this isn't one of 'em." Go figure.

"Oh, I've eaten bugs," Steve said. "I'm just not gonna go out of my way to do it for fun."

"That's fair," Raiden said with a sage nod. "Plenty of other crunchy snacks out there." Without the legs. "Can I interest you in one of our non-specials?"

"Yes, please," Steve said, grinning. "And garlic knots."

"Duh," Raiden agreed. "Can't go wrong with garlic knots. What kinda pizza do you want?" Raiden was a fan of sausage.

Heh. So was Steve, as it turned out!

"Let's stick with the classics tonight," Steve said, "and get sausage, pepperoni, and extra cheese."

"Love all that meat for you," Raiden agreed happily as he punched the order in.

...what?

Steve burst out laughing. "Nice one."

"What?" Raiden asked, confused. All he'd done was compliment Steve's pizza choices!

"You didn't mean the innuendo?" Steve asked.

"What innuendo?" He was so lost. "We were talking about pizza?"

"All that meat could mean a couple things," Steve said, smiling.

"Oh, I didn't...I didn't think about it like that," Raiden said, reaching up to fiddle with his hat awkwardly. "Sorry, man. You know I'm not smart. Stuff goes over my head." Which was difficult considering how tall he was, but he managed.

Steve waved his hand. "Absolutely not a problem, buddy. I thought it was funny but Danny tells me my sense of humor isn't for everyone."

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Pizza Planet, Friday

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