fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Monday [04/08].

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Turtle & Canary; Monday [04/08].

At some point that morning, Summer's usual tasks were interrupted by Apu demanding her attention as a captive audience at the front counter so that he and the cheese panda could perform for her their very emotional and riveting and not at all ridiculous, really, interpretive dance that they'd choreographed to 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' in celebration of....well, the total eclipse going on later that day.

"You really couldn't have just stuck with, like, Dog Farting Awareness Day today or something, huh?" she asked.

But don't worry, everyone, if you missed the first performance, there were going to be several more throughout the day at the top of the hour, and Summer decided she was going to take extra time on her inventory this week.

Today's Squishy Flavors
Empanada
Churro
Red

Turtle & Canary is open!

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By the time dusk rolled around, Dean had enough. He stopped in T&C and picked up some items before heading home.

Which was cheap whiskey and four disposable phones.

"Hey, Summer," Dean said wearily as he put the items on the counter. "What's the good word?"

"I don't know," Summer said, with a lift of an eyebrow at Dean's particular purchases today, "you tell me. I've got a feeling your answer is going to be way more interesting."

"It's just been a long day," Dean said with a sigh. "The eclipse today just brings out all the crazies. Spent the last day and a half tracking nutjobs. Hence the whiskey."

"And the burner phones?" Summer prompted, because Dean. Dean. The whiskey was absolutely least interesting part of this equation.

"People back home don't know I'm alive and I'm supposed to keep it that way," Dean explained. "I went through a bunch of phones today just so they can't trace it back to me or this place."

He shrugged.

"I know what it looks like but I'm sure you've seen weirder things."

Dean jabbed a thumb back towards Apu and the panda dancing.

"What's up with the panda?"

He's not asking about the dancing.

Summer nodded, because, yeah, no, what a completely reasonable and understandable answer, actually. Boy, Winchester, you were just full of disappointments, huh?

"Oh, that's our cheese guy," she then said, with a shrug, and an appreciation for the novelty of newbies at times like these. "If you're itching for a fight, just come in and disagree with him on camembert or Swiss or something, and he'll totally throw down. And, no, I still haven't figured out if he's an actual panda or just a really dedicated guy in a great fursuit, which is wild, because I pay that dude's salary."

Dean looked around at the Panda bear as if to size him up. "Cheese guy? Huh. Okay," Dean replied. "I guess that's no weirder than pollen."

"My bet is actual bear but I'm not in the mood to find out. Do you give him a paycheck with a name on it or just hand over cash?"

Summer shrugged. "He gets direct deposit."

Obviously, Dean.

"But he is in the books as just 'Cheese Panda.' But I lean towards actual bear, too, I've seen him fight way too often, there's no way someone can brawl like that in a big giant panda suit and not, like, die, or at least lose the head or something, but it always stays on."

Dean just stood there looking at the Panda. How many fights has this bear been in? And has it all been over cheese?

He shook his head in amazement. "Oh. Hey. Atton said I should talk to you about something. Just learned about this Portalocity thing. He mentioned you might know a few good touristy planets... Maybe a planet with really good pie?"

Summer wasn't even thinking so much cheese brawls, either, and more about how he defended the store...and the whole island, really!...from werecritters that dared to mess with his lovely cheese displays. It was mostly forgotten to the annals of the passing of time now, but that panda had been the real MVP in that one, truly.

"What about a whole planet made of pie?" Summer tried, after taking a moment to preen over being someone to go to about stuff.

Dean's eyes widened and his jaw dropped a bit.

"Don't mess with my heart here."

Planet made of pie?

"How is that even possible?"

"I don't know," Summer shrugged a little. "Science?"

Somewhere out there, a supergenius ex probably felt an unexplainable twitch.

"But there's a whole cluster of dessert planets out in my version of the galaxy," she explained further. "I'm more of an ice cream planet girlie myself, but, like, I think Pie Planet has, like, seasons? But instead of, like, spring, summer, fall, winter, you've got pecan, apple, cherry, key lime, chocolate season, etc etc etc, depending on when and where you're going."

There was a pause, as she eyed Dean somewhat calculatingly.

"Also?" she offered. "Boob World. That's fun for the whole family."

Their slogan, not hers.

Edited 2024-04-08 20:05 (UTC)

Dean's eyebrows went up a tad at that. Yes. That was his reaction.

Boobs vs. Pie. Sometimes that can be a hard choice.

"And all of these are available through Portalocity?" He asked and then paused for a second and cleared his throat. "What about a planet that someone really into astronomy might like?"

Summer's head tilted with a bit of a confused look at that question. "Wouldn't that be, like, literally any planet? That's kind of the whole thing with astronomy, isn't it? But, I don't know, the main big Milky Way Eight plus Pluto all sound like good places to start. Find yourself some real Planet-Ass-Planets. Nebulas are great for that, too. I got a lot of asteroid belts I like to fuck around in when I need to blow shit up, too.

"But, yeah," she nodded, getting to the important part, "should be able to get there through Portalocity, but they're not always reliable. If they give you trouble, come see me, I got a gun."

"Yeah, well, I know someone who's really into astronomy," Dean said trying to sound casual. "I just thought a nice planet with a great view..."

Now he just felt awkward.

"But I'll check what Portalocity has in mind."

You know, Dean, trying to sound casual only brought more attention to it, and now it had Summer's attention.

"I'll see if I can put together a good list for you," she offered. "The real trick is finding a good balance betweena spectacular view and whether or not the planet is actually safe. One of the most beautiful night skies you can get in my universe is pretty much impossible to enjoy because the temperature of the planet drops down to basically a negative gazillion once its suns go down. And I know a lot of great spots via ship, but if you gotta go planet side..."

“I appreciate that. I do,” Dean said pulling out his wallet not only to pay but to also pull out a business card. “If you think of something just text it to me. “

Of course the business card said US Marshal and his name was John Bonham but the number was good.

Summer took the card and looked it over, and then looked back at Dean with an amused lift of her brow. "You got it, Mr. Bonham. We'll find you something good."

my extremely weird bassist has figured out I'm not from around here, Atton texted, because now he was back at Fandom and he'd done some processing he-- was kind of bored out of his mind, actually. I still don't understand how

Summer took a moment to consider this text, and to consider what little she'd gleaned about Trent in the one time she actually met him.

yeah no that tracks

What? You going to tell her a guy like that, on his phone that much, isn't fucking around with some wild conspiracy theory bullshit?

did u fess up or try to squirm out of it?

fessed up because I don't even KNOW, Summer.

Atton eyed his phone. Sighed. And added--

am I losing my edge??

can't lose what u never had there my dude

Kidding, Summer added, quickly, because she realized she just might be staring down at the first blush of an actual mid-life crisis right now. Even worse, a former-Jedi, former-Sith mid-life crisis, actually.

but like even the sharpest blades will dull with time or whatever especially when you dont have to use it as much u know?

Atton eyed that comment. He thought about the last couple of years of his life, the therapy, the therapist telling him that losing his edge on this particular score was probably good for him as a person, blah dee blah blah.

He tapped the phone against his forehead, sighed, and got up out of his chair.

He wandered into the store slightly less than fifteen minutes later, looking annoyed with the general state of the world (but when didn't he?) and also a little bit like a tired but disgruntled old dog. "Summer?"

And it was funny, that, because Summer had spent a good deal of those first few minutes of silence from Atton thinking about adding that's not a bad thing btw, but, ultimately, figured that was best saved for when she could at least offer some booze to accompany it, too.

But after more minutes passed by, she frowned and wondered if he'd just slipped into listening to some angry band she'd never heard of and wondered if she should have.

So when he actually just walked into the store, her eyebrows lifted in genuine surprise for a second, before offering a soft, sympathetic smile. To either soothe some of that grumpiness, or incite more of it. She'd take either one.

"Atton," she nodded.

"My therapist thinks," Atton said, with the grudging attitude of a guy who really hated that he needed a therapist but also accepted that he did, "That if I feel like I want to backslide I should do literally anything to not do that."

And now she was being soft and sympathetic and the part of him that wanted to backslide was extremely grumpy about it, actually.

"So I figured I'd come here and hang out and make fun of the stupid panda for a while instead of freaking out about all the decisions I've made about my life recently," he added smoothly, "Since you actually get it and I don't have to explain the space of it all to you, if that's okay with you."

Something about that if that's okay with you at the end of it made Summer twitch just slightly, but she nodded again. "Yeah," she said, "that is more than okay with me. If I have to watch him and Apu dance to that fucking song one more time without even anyone else to snark at about it, I think I'm going to lose my fucking mind."

Edited 2024-04-08 17:42 (UTC)

Atton liked to belligerent defensively when he felt vaguely weird about something, news at 11.

"What song?" he said, wandering up to her. "Do I even want to know?"

"'Total Eclipse of the Heart,'" Summer offered anyway. "You know, because of the total solar eclipse today. Yes, my employees are clearly hilarious. And hey," the smile leaned more toward a smirk, with a faint snort to boot, "if we're looking at the decisions we've made in our lives recently, at least yours haven't lead you to actually wishing you were celebrating Dog Farting Awareness Day instead..."

Atton snorted. "At least mine led to a very weird helicopter tour yesterday," he allowed, "Which was at least fun. As for this guy, I seriously don't know how you deal with him. Bonnie Tyler? Really?"

"What's worse?" Summer added. "I'm still not sure if this would actually be worse if it happened on Wednesday and I was stuck with this from Tino."

That, at least, was a horror he could empathize with her with.

But, out of all the things they could be talking about right now, weird and bizarre coworkers was probably at the bottom of her list. Summer folded her arms in front of her, leaning forward over the counter a little as her head tilted curiously.

"Tell me more about this helicopter tour?"

The question at the end was not necessarily to make it a polite question so much as just making sure she'd heard that right.

Atton sighed. "As far as I can deduce, Trent was upset he didn't know about my birthday," he said, "So he riffed up some kind of 'guy's day out' to make up for it. And apparently flying around New York City in a helicopter doing all the sights is some disturbing touristy thing he thought would be a great showstopper for the day. Like, yay, we saw Yankee Stadium from the air, big whoop."

He absolutely cared that Trent had cared enough to set all that up. Predictably, he just didn't know how to deal with that, so he was choosing to complain about it instead.

"Wait," said Summer, "so hold up. This guy's actually sitting there, thinking, 'yo, Jack's totally a spaceman, I know what'll really impress him, a fucking amateur hour helicopter ride?'"

She honestly thought that was almost insanely adorable and sweet, actually, but, well...

Look, if anyone wanted to gesture at anything to show how this friendship worked...

"Right?" Atton said. "Who even does that? I mean, sure, I can't drag the Hawk home because people will go full-on Roswell on me, but still!"

He shook his head. "New Yorkers," he muttered. "They're all weird."

He loved it and did not want to leave.

"Yeah," Summer agreed. "No wonder you fit in so well there."

Sorry, Atton. The sarcastic cynicism had gotten out of her system and now she was just smirking up at you, and she was not about to apologize for it, either.

Atton pulled a face at her.

(Having a redhead around to make fun of him when he was being annoying was comforting and familiar, actually. Stupid Mira getting him stupid acclimated to this kind of abuse.)

"Shut up," he said.

"Hey, man," Summer said, pushing up off the counter to hold up her hands, but there was a bit too much of a laugh there in her voice to be anywhere near actually defensive, "you came to me." (And now you shut up and ignore the little thrill that gave her; Summer certainly was!) "You have no one to blame but yourself for that one."

are you going to look at the sun we have glasses here I could bring you a pair?

The clinic was too quiet, sometimes.

i wasn't really planning on it

When you had all of the multiverse at your fingertips at the turn of a dial and a pull of a trigger, an eclipse didn't seem like that big of a deal.

(Tell her about an eclipse on Screaming Sun planet, and then she'd be interested).

But she could spot a gentle suggestion when she saw it.

but if i did have glasses for it, it'd be dumb to let them go to waste

Did the Screaming Sun go silent during an eclipse? That would be very impressive.

I don't remember ever seeing one i thought it might be interesting if you wanted

That's what Summer wanted to know!

For science!

sure! U want me to head over there? I could honestly use a break from all this dancing

If they wrote it down that made it science, right?

please do! I'll be waiting. Why are you dancing?

Edited 2024-04-08 22:21 (UTC)

i havent been, apu and the cheese panda have been. Because of the eclipse

And before she went to tell Apu she was ducking out for a bit, she was sending Stark a video. Because of course she recorded it. You're welcome, Stark.

do they dance often?

Stark, it was better not to know these things, honestly.

thankyou for sharing

He appreciated it! Even if what was being shared was real weird.

no they don't and thank god for that

Anyway, im on my way! I should be there soon!

good i will see you soon😊☀🌑

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Turtle & Canary; Monday [04/08].

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