fandomtownies | Town [Later That Night]

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@around town

Town [Later That Night]

After spreading much early holiday cheer in the dorms, Mr and Mrs Claus have waddled their way into town.

"Oh dearest, dearie dear," John said, still in high pitched voice mode, "do you think the townspeople could use some holiday cheer? I think they could."

[Second verse, same as the first. Gotta a townie that wants a song? Ping in and they'll get one!]

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Wade was watching that movie where Julie Andrews was topless. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083015/) Wow. She was right up there with Bea.

"Mmmm, Bea and Julie threesome."

Mrs Claus had no idea what was waiting on this door.

So, she knocked using, doing the 'shave and haircut' rhythm and said, "We are here to spread joy and seasons greetings!"

"Go away! Julie Andrews is shirtless!" Pause. "And hot!"

"Now, now, now, that's no way to speak to a lady!" Mrs Claus said, voice breaking though. "Open the door and we'll give you sweet treats!"

He did love sweets...

Deadpool opened the door and squinted at the budding crossdresser. "For the last time, I'm not a transvestite and I don't want to join your group!"

"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas Professor Deadpool! Would you like to hear a Christmas carol?"

Santa. His old nemesis.

"So we meet again. Fat man."

"No, his name is Santa," Mrs Claus corrected. "He's my husband of 100 years!"

"Hey!" Kawalsky protested, falling out of character. "Who you calling fat? I prefer the term 'burly'. It's all muscle."

Most of it.

Some of it.

Shut up.

"You stay out of this my elderly flower of loveliness," Deadpool said to John. He turned and glared more at Kawalsky. "Where's my pony?!"

"I ate it," Santa replied. He might have still been sulking over the fat comment. "With salsa."

"You fiend! How dare you eat my poor little Princess Fluffikins! The name is because I liked the word fluffy as a child, no other reason so stop thinking that! And easting a horse? What are you? French? Is that it? Are you French?"

"Only on Tuesdays!"

"That's the worst type of morbidly obese, bearded Frenchmen!"

"Tell you what!" Santa said, not wanting to die because of being falsely accused of being French. "I'll replace the pony with a camel! With built-in air conditioning!"

Deadpool paused and thought it over. "Is this camel trained to spit at my enemies?"

"Not just any spit. That annoying spit with the smell you can never get out of your clothes."

"You've got yourself a deal, fat man!"

"Pleasure doing business with you! Oh, did you want a Christmas carol while we're here?"

"As long as it isn't in French." Because they had clearly established the evil of the French. Much more evil than the Danish.

"We only sing 100% American Christmas carols!" He took a deep breath. "We two kings of Fandom are, bearing gifts we traverse afar! Preserve and park, school and...uh...sharks, following yonder star!"

"O star of Fandom, star full of beer! Star with gremlin spit, star made of fear! Drunken leaving, still dry heaving!"

"Guide us to ol' Deadpool heeeeeere!"

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Town [Later That Night]

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