fandomtownies | Town [Later That Night]

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@around town

Town [Later That Night]

After spreading much early holiday cheer in the dorms, Mr and Mrs Claus have waddled their way into town.

"Oh dearest, dearie dear," John said, still in high pitched voice mode, "do you think the townspeople could use some holiday cheer? I think they could."

[Second verse, same as the first. Gotta a townie that wants a song? Ping in and they'll get one!]

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Moist was sitting at the desk in his apartment, doing some calculations, mostly involving post office profit and ways to increase it. "There's got to be a way to make it more popular," he muttered. "Maybe the island needs its own stamps."

Mrs Claus toddled over to the next apartment and kicked the door. What, she was a woman who might be PMS'ing!

Okay, that didn't sound good. Against his better judgement, Moist went to answer the door and stared bemusedly at the...person on the other side of it. "Hello?"

"Ho ho ho ho hoooooooooooooooo!" Mrs Claus called out jovially. "We're here to spread some Christmas cheer!"

"That's very," insane, "generous of you." Moist was keeping that door half-closed, just in case this wasn't the harmless sort of crazy. But at least she, err, he, wasn't wearing a duck on his head. "What's Christmas?"

"What's Christmas?" Mrs Claus gasped. "What's Christmas? Oh, I might have an attack. Get me my pills! MY PILLLLLLLLLLLS!"

"I DON'T HAVE YOUR PILLS! Drink some beer, dear."

"You didn't bring my pills?" Mrs Claus swooned. "Now I'll never be a teen model!"

"Honey, I think it's a little late for that, no matter what Tyra told you!"

"Husband, are you calling me a fat, ugly cow?"

"I am, my dear, yes. Yes I am. You could lose a few pounds, maybe get a tummy tuck and a facelift. I work hard all year! You could show a little appreciation!"

"I showed you some appreciation last night!" Mrs Claus yelled. "Do you think its easy to be married to someone who only has a job for one night a year? All you do is watch soap operas!"

He'd been looking back and forth between them, growing more and more amused. "Christmas would be some sort of holiday, I gather? A time for togetherness and being with family, perhaps?" It explained the bickering, and Moist was growing ever more certain he didn't want to know about Christmas. "And you spread cheer by making people feel better about their families?"

"SHUT UP," Mrs Claus bellowed at Moist. "Before I hit you with my shoe!"

"Leave the man alone, you crazy wench! You're scaring him!"

Hmm, maybe not the harmless kind of crazy. Moist smiled charmingly and took a little step backwards. "Is that a Christmas tradition? Being hit by shoes wielded by beautiful women?" And even he was surprised he managed to get that out with a perfectly straight face.

"No, she's just a crazy old woman. Don't mind her. Come along, dear, we'll get you liquored up."

"Liquor?" Mrs Claus perked up at that. "Oh yes, let's go do that!"

"Goodbye, postmaster! MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

Moist waved them good bye and shut the door, making a note that Christmas was to be avoided at all costs. Maybe he'd just stay in here for a few days, until he could be sure it was over.

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Town [Later That Night]

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