fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Sunday [1/20]

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Turtle & Canary; Sunday [1/20]

Doom was prepared for the NFL's Championship Sunday. That is, he was ignoring it completely and might shoot anyone who talked to him about sports with magic fire. Apu, meanwhile, made sure there was a nice display with chips and dip and drinks.

Doom considered knocking it down. Meanie.

Today's Squishy flavors: Grape Judas, Cherry Doom, Pigskin (not made with real pig)

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"You wish to destroy the security dog?" Doom asked. "Destroy the Squishy machine if you must. The dog, however, may still prove useful in the future."

Doom was a good employee.

Doom was a great employee.

Wade landed in a pile of canned goods. "Why are there cans here?! Why not twinkies or chips?!" He shook his head, looking over at Doom. "War here said that he's better at RULING OVER ALL than you."

"Must you talk and talk and talk?" War asked, "That was rhetorical."

He may have been fighting Deadpool for too long, now. He stood triumphant above the fallen canned goods (and Deadpool) "None of your talk can throw War! I will snap your neck and go on to CRUSH this island underneath my FIST!"

"THIS ISLAND IS STILL USEFUL TO DOOM," Doom declared, using his boot thrusters to hop effortlessly onto the counter. "IT WILL NOT BE CRUSHED UNTIL DOOM DEEMS IT READY. STAND DOWN OR YOU WILL SEAL YOUR DESTINY AS A VICTIM OF DOCTOR DOOM."

Wade had yet to move fromt he pile of cans. His spine hurt a lot. "You tell 'm Viccy!"

"You are of no concern to me," War informed Doom, "But for how well you can fight."

He shot off a TK blast at Doom. It seemed like the thing to do.

The blast hit Doom and knocked him off the counter. "Apu. Hand me my gauntlets." Apu reached under the counter and tossed the gauntlets over before curling up under there himself.

Doom rose back to his feet as he put the gauntlets on and activated them. "I GIVE YOU ONE MORE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE THIS PLACE. DOOM HAS DIBS ON THIS ISLAND." He punctuated that with a lasers fired from his fingers.

For the first time since yesterday, Wade hasn't trying to kill Nate.

Oh no, he was too busy being doubled over with laughter in the pile of cans. "Why didn't I think of this before?!"

Lasers slammed into his shoulder. War was annoyed. War was very annoyed. "You annoy me," he informed Doom, "Like some sort of insect, leaching his lines from popular action movies! I have smashed your armor into a pulp of senseless arrogance before, Doom... I shall do it again, within the boundaries of this store-- I shall smash you into OBLIVION!"

He charged forwards, fists slamming in the direction of Doom's head, but not before adding, "...and Wade, your husband is a common harlot."

Doom didn't bother to dodge. He had yet to give his force field a test in true combat, so he activated it and stood his ground. "Ah. Another simpleton who believes me to be a Doom they know. KNOW THAT NO ONE, NOT EVEN OTHER VERSIONS OF MYSELF, IS THE EQUAL TO DOCTOR DOOM." After a moment he added, "THIS DOCTOR DOOM."

"You think yourself a challenge?"

He smashed at the force field again, amplifying his blows with telekinetic strength. "So did my universe's Doctor Doom! But he was childishly easy once one got past his inability of grasping basic fighting skills-- as inferior as yours must be, hiding behind this forcefield!"

"I am merely testing my own engineering and I am satisfied with it," Doom said. He deactivated the forcefield and fired a mystical fireball at War before using his jetpack to gain some distance on the other side of the counter. Where there were projectiles to throw from the aisles to make up for his inability of grasping basic fighting skills yes War was right shut up.

Wade was just happy get a rest. He sat on a can of beans out of the way and ate his cheetos.

His delicious cheetos.

"I kinda wish I had a video camera, the fanboys would kill for this footage."

Just for that, there was another TK blast aimed at Wade's face. "Silence, whore-husband," War proclaimed, seriously, because that made entirely too much sense. "You and I shall settle our score about Demi Moore later."

That would have been when he got hit in the head with a fireball, his head snapped back, and he growled.

Then lashed out at Doom.

With telekinesis, of course. There went an aisle. "TUNA CANNOT STAND IN THE PATH OF WAR!"

Doom activated his force field again, but all that did was protect him as he was flung back, sent crashing into bags of dog food. "IS THAT ALL YOU CAN DO? THROW YOUR OPPONENTS AROUND WITH YOUR MIND? THAT ISN'T WAR, THAT IS LAZINESS."

Doom picked up a can of Puppy Chow and flung it at War.

And Wade joined in by throwing a can of Goya red beans at War's head. "LEAVE MY HUSBAND OUT OF THIS, CREEPY MCBADTOUCH."

"HE IS A COWARD AND A WHORE," War raged at Wade, because it was the kind of thing to do, and batted both beans and Puppy Chow away with his telekinesis.

This sent them raining over the aisle of goods he'd just knocked over.

He shot forwards, moving to ~~pounce~~ leap at Doom. "THIS IS NOT LAZINESS," he proclaimed, "THIS IS STRATEGY!"

The force field went down so Doom could fire several concussion blasts from his gauntlets at the leaping War. "STRATEGY EMPLOYED BY A THOUGHTLESS BRUTE, PERHAPS." Doom's own strategy was rather less sophisticated than he would have liked, but he did have one at the moment.

Edited 2008-01-20 22:13 (UTC)

Wade just sighed and pulled out a sword. "You know, Turtle is going to kill us all for this damage, you know."

And ran to tackle War.

Concussive blasts smashed against his face, did little damage-- "APOCALYPSE NOW!" -- because that made sense -- but that tackle knocked War straight towards Doom, growling.

At the same time, his telekinesis lashed out to knock his attacker backwards immediately.

"A movie reference? AGAIN, I CALL YOU A BRUTE," Doom said. He reached down to pick up part of the shelves that once held pet food and swung it at War with all of his armor-enhanced strength.

Yeah...no. Wade just shook his head and tried to stab War in the neck again.

"Hey, that was a good movie! Actually, no. It wasn't. I'm sorry, I shouldn't lie like that. It was pretty crappy. Hey, how about a Die Hard reference this time? I love Die Hard! How 'bout you guys?"

The stabbing bounced off the telekinesis-- of course-- which lashed backwards at Wade yet again while War concentrated on banging a gap in Doom's force field with his fists.

Until, you know, he got hit in the face with a piece of shelf. "YOU ARE NOTHING TO ME, DOOM," he declared, "NOR TO THE VERY FORCE OF APOCALYPSE!"

He ripped at the shelf. If anyone deserved a bludgeoning weapon, it was War. "Is stabbing at my back all you can do, Wade?"

Doom was an honorable man, despite whatever villainous labels might be applied to him. So when he lashed out with a kick toward War's crotch, he felt, you know, kind of bad about it. It wasn't an honorable attack at all, but it was what the situation called for. Especially since he was fairly certain his force field was starting to fail. Timing was the important thing here.

"Pretty much!" Wade shouted, pulling the other sword to stab down into his chest. "Heeeey! Nice job DOOMy!"

Turtle & Canary; Sunday [1/20]

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