Atlas Gym, Fandom Fight Club [Sunday Evening]

[atreideslioness]

There was a poster tacked up on the door to the main gym, with the following text written in alternating handwriting, as if the marker had been shared between two people:

Rules of Fandom Fight Club
1. What happens here, stays here. We can't keep the squirrels out, but if somebody tells you something on the mat, you don't repeat it off the mat.
2. No weapons or powers unless everyone knows in advance and is fighting within their weight class.
3. No shoes.
4. If someone says "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over.
5. Two people to a fight.
6. Fights go on as long as they have to.
7. No tourists. If you need to take a week to see what this is like, cool, but no coming back just to watch. You wanna watch, get a TV; here, everybody fights.
8. No fighting if you're sick or injured. You wanna screw up your body, you do it on your own time.
9. The organizers reserve the right to remove you from the club at any time for violation of these rules.

Underneath the sign was a table with a sign-in sheet, where people could print their name and if they'd fought before which is handwavey since y'all already did it, which would be collected once the meeting started.

Inside, Tyler was pacing, barefoot and holding himself so erect he looked about three inches taller than he normally did. He clapped his hands in a way designed to silence anyone still talking.

"Welcome to Fight Club," he began. "In this room, you are not a teacher or a student or the guy who works behind the bar at Caritas. You are not what you own or what you wear. You are not a special, unique snowflake. You are a body. You hit, you bleed, you feel pain, you cause pain, you come back for more. You get better. You might even find redemption."

He glanced at the group as if daring anyone to argue with him on these points.

"The purpose of this group is catharsis and self-improvement through unarmed combat," Ghanima said briskly. For once, she was not wearing her usual ornate gowns, but a simple woven tunic and slacks and was barefoot like Tyler. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with therapeutic violence - no matter what the armchair shrink of the week says - and this place is here to provide you with that option."

"That said, should you wish to have a friendly spar with someone using practice weapons, you should feel free so long as both parties agree. Please refrain from using actual weapons until you've worked with someone more than once."

"And while we're being the buzzkill jerks with all the rules," Tyler said, "here's a quick gym tour. Padding's over here -- beginners, wear gloves, everyone else, it's at your discretion -- practice weapons are there, and these soft blue things? These are mats. We fight on the mats."

"Speak for yourself," Ghanima murmured, bemused. "I may occasionally be evil, but I am not a jerk or a buzzkill."

"Now, my favorite part. We're going to randomly pick some fights." It was possible Ghanima looked a bit too gleeful about this. "You and you. You two. You two too. You and you, and hrm, you, and ... you." There was practically a halo over her head as she pointed at Tyler. "There. Get to know your new friends, then get to know the mat. Anyone I didn't just pair up, find your own partner."

[Up early for massive SP! Wait for theMassive OCD is massive and up.]

ETA:You people are breaking my browser! Mingle | RNG Fights | Open Sparring | Ghanima and Tyler | OOC | Next Week's RNG

Comments

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

Oh, Minsc was going down. There was no doubt about that. But he wasn't going down a good kick to Sir Deadpool's head on the way.

"I have no idea who that is," he admitted, hitting the mats with a loud thud and wishing there was something more solid and hard beneath him instead of wussy mats. His fingers dug into them a little as he kicked his legs again, this time to swing himself back up to his feet. "But I think a better theme music would be the steady pummel of my fists in your face!"

Which Minsc went to go do, if Sir Deadpool had gotten up while he had. And if not, well, he'd improvise, break the metaphor, and just kick him in the face instead.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Good god man!" Deadpool rolled to the side immediately, up onto his feet and bouncing around in excitement. "Clearly I need to get you some bad pseudo-philosophical movies to understand the mood music that comes from that."

Instead of waiting fro him to get up, Deadpool lifted his foot over his head and slammed it back down, heel first to hit Minsc's chest. If he wasn't fast enough.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

Minsc was a big guy. He was a lot faster than most people thought he was, but not that fast. Especially not when it meant he could get hit! A hit he could take while his hands went to grab a hold of the kicking leg and jerk it back up.

Throw it, rather. Let's see how bendy or flippy Sir Deadpool could get.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool was very bendy, thank you very much! His knee, however, was not meant to move that way.

So he landed on one leg, hands up in the air like he was Kerri Strug and he was a scary, scary Bella.

"Ten points for sticking the landing!"

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

Hmm. One leg. Arms up in the air.

To Minsc, that seemed like a good time for an uppercut!

"See how you can stick this!"

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Snapping his leg straight and--Owie--back into alignment, Deadpool leaned back to avoid the uppercut, grabbing Minsc's hand instead. In something like an Indian rugburn, he squeezed tight on the wrist and moved to yank Minsc's arm up behind his back. "Heeeey. Don't you know a good Olymipics reference when you hear one? Man, my material is so wasted on you!"

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

"Completely!" Minsc agreed cheerfully as he grimaced against the pain of the twist. He considered, briefly, letting his arm just pop out of its socket to make this all much more smoother and more comfortable; he could always just pop it right back.

Maybe next time. This time, he was just going to elbow Sir Deadpool in the gut with his other arm.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which was painful there, but not enough to make him let go. "Saaaay uncle," Deadpool sang cheerfully.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

"Your uncle was a gnoll sucking pile of basilisk poo," said Minsc, squirming slightly, which increased the pain in his arm to a delightful level, leaning to the side enough to look over his shoulder to make sure the punch with his free hand went right for the face.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Because Minsc was a creeper!

"Actually, I think he--" Deadpool didn't even pause in his talking with the hit. "--narpet alesmnen."

Instead of letting go, he grabbed the hand and used it to keep Minsc still as he drove his knee up to dig into the small of the man's back.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

"Same thing," Minsc muttered, weakly now, as the knee driving into his back had made his knees buckle and he started to sink.

Sinking when someone had your arms was bad. So Minsc was going to risk the whole socket thing and, with a great grunting warcry, tried to heave Sir Deadpool forcefully over the curve of his back.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

And that was a lovely little trip he made over Minsc's shoulders and onto the mat. "Heeeeey. Is not. I don't even have an uncle."

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

"Then the point is moot," said Minsc, going to give Sir Deadpool's butt a nice little boot.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which was helpful in the rolling over thing. Back on his feet, Deadpool pouted. "Your mom is moot."

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

"My mother was a saint!" Minsc insisted, pulling his arm back for another punch to the face.

He could feel his shoulder popping in and out in protest.

It was awesome!

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool bounced happily to the side, grabbing his wrist with one hand and yanking him closer and down. He rested the forearm of his other arm on the back of Minsc's neck, pushing down dangerously on the lovely lil' vertebra there.

"No, no. My mom was a saint. Though, really, we should both be glad our mothers didn't have the last name Grey. Or Maximoff. Because, good god! The insanity there!"

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

Well, now, that was an interesting move. Interesting not only in the fact that it was a damn good one, but also in the fact that Sir Deadpool had the strength to put a bear like Minsc into it.

It was pretty impressive actually, as Minsc stayed still for a moment and tried to consider that fact that, most holds, he could just break out of using his pure strength, but pure strength in this situation would lead to breaking things that would need a hell of a lot more than a cure light wounds once per day to get out of.

Which sucked, because he didn't want to have to call the fight yet; it was way too much fun, but Sir Deadpool did have him in a bit of a lock at the moment, and it might require some thinking to get out of, and Minsc hated thinking.

So all he had was, "Your mother was the saint of poxy ridden whores."

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Deadpool squinted down at him. "Now, that's not very nice. Can't you say something polite in a fight? Like, say. 'your mother is a classy lady'? That would throw an opponent off and make things so much easier for you!"

Dropping the hold, he darted on back out of range to allow Minsc to get back into the fray.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

Oh, gnoll spit. He didn't even clock Minsc in the head or anything before letting him go. Minsc muttered a little unintelligably as he rolled back out of the hold, in a maneuver beyond what was necessary considering Deadpool had already put distance between them, landing in a low crouch, ready to grapple, the pre-emptive move before wrestling bears.

"You have a very surprising strength," Minsc tried the whole polite thing, "and you're a quick son of a whore, too."

Well. That was kind of polite. Not one for finesse, Minsc just let out another cry, charging forward to grapple Sir Deadpool around the waist.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Hey now! He wasn't used to folks just charging on in unless they were wee and hairy and had claws! Snik snik!

Going back, Deadpool slamed his elbow on down at Minsc's head to make him let go. "Well! Ya know! Weapon X likes the peak physical condition and all that crap."

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

That was more like it! Clocked in the head as was proper! Minsc planted his feet as firm as he could, letting go as the pain went through his arms and straightening with an attempt to get Deadpool in a grapple, to lock his hand behind the other man's neck for one nice skull-ringing headbutt.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

"Heeeey." Deadpool saw stars for a moment before he did that right back. Putting one firm foot down on the mat, he put both hands on Minsc's shoulders ad curled his other leg around Minsc's thigh for leverage to sweep him down onto the ground. "At least buy me dinner first!"

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

"Ha!" Minsc barked a laugh to mask the grunt from hitting the mat, hooking his arms around the other man to drag him with him as he fell, then rolling, tumbling until he was on top of Deadpool and staring with the pummels to the face. "Are you asking me on a date?" he mocked in rhythm.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[mouthy-merc.livejournal.com]

Which had been ages since it last happened. Deadpool was so damn happy to get a real fight!

"My dance card is full, thanks," Deadpool said, even if it was a bit wet sounding and mushy. He nose was soooo broken. "But I'm sure you'll find that--special gal!"

Squirming about like an angry cat, Deadpool was sad to have no hair to rip out, but bravely soldiered on and grabbed Minsc's throat with one hand, digging is fingers in to rip is damn Adam's apple out.

Re: Open Sparring - Hit Me Baby One More Time

[berserkerminsc.livejournal.com]

Which made retorting a little difficult, making even Minsc's bold and deep voice come out in a strangled squeak of "Didn't want to date a girly man whore spawn, anyway!" as he realized that this was the point in a fight where he would tell Boo to go for the eyes, but that seemed a little bit against the rules. So he just shifted enough to knee Deadpool in the crotch instead.