Groovy Tunes, Tuesday

[furnaceface]

Jono stared at the fruitcake that had nestled itself into the CD display, somewhere between Cake and the Cardigans.

The fruitcake, for what it was worth, wasn't exactly staring back, but it certainly seemed to be paying attention. As much attention as a fruitcake possibly could.

Slowly, carefully, Jono backed away. Backing away, apparently, was a mistake. The fruitcake had brought reinforcements.

If anybody needed Jonothon, they'd find him cornered, and trying to reason with a bunch of desperate baked goods that he wasn't going to be able to eat them, as he didn't have a bloody mouth.

But at least it wasn't Christmas carols again.

[OCD freeee~]

Comments

[living_endless]

".... oh, good, the fruitcake isn't just at my store."

Someday, Didi would say hello like a normal person. This was not that day.

[furnaceface]

//Talk me out of lighting the little buggers on fire, please,// Jono said, from where he was backed against a rack of discount music that nobody in their right minds actually wanted to buy. //Alice works tomorrow, I don't need to traumatize th'poor gel more than she already has been.//

[living_endless]

"Fruitcake deserves the right to live," Didi said, without batting an eyelid. "Besides, maybe Alice likes fruitcake. She can clean it up tomorrow."

Chewing on a thumbnail, she added, "Do you want to come back to T&C with me? We have fruitcake too, but it kind of gets lost in with all the other food."

[furnaceface]

Jono took a moment to very, very coolly regard the small swarm of fruitcake that would, every now and again, jump up and attempt to thump him into submission by bouncing harmlessly off his leg.

//So long as the other food doesn't start to get any ideas,// he decided.

[living_endless]

"Non-sentient food only," Didi promised, looking as innocent as she possibly could while kicking fruitcake away.

They seemed to have realized this target could, in fact, eat, and were redoubling their efforts.

"Well, mostly non-sentient. There's some funky-smelling mayo in the staff fridge. I think it waved at me."

[furnaceface]

//Did yer wave back? Maybe it's just lonely.//

Jono gave a piece of fruitcake a good punt, as well. It was kind of therapeutic, really.

//Yer know yer've been on this island awhile when yer not entirely certain if the mayonnaise really did wave or not.//

[living_endless]

"I told it it looked like very nice mayonnaise and shut the fridge quickly," Didi said. "... was that mean? Should I have cuddled it?"

Yeah, she couldn't quite manage a straight face on that one, at least not while discouraging a slice of fruitcake from shimmying up her jeans.

[furnaceface]

//Only if yer want to smell like it,// Jonothon reasoned. //Was it particularly fuzzy-looking?//

Fuzzy things were generally more cuddly, but...

[living_endless]

"I think so?" Didi said. "The fur tends to come before the sentience."

Oh, the conversations they had.

[furnaceface]

//Well, of course it does. Yer wouldn't want the mayonnaise to get cold sitting in the icebox, would yer?//

That would just be cruel.

[living_endless]

Didi laughed. "So, really, we should be happy when food gets moldy. It's just warming up!"

[furnaceface]

//Making itself comfortable,// Jono agreed, looking entirely too happy as he stepped on a particularly bold piece of fruitcake. //Like company that yer wish would just leave already, taking up space, ruining the contents of the fridge, and smelling up the room.//

Kind of like Jono, actually.

[living_endless]

"You should be a poet," Didi observed, and neatly scooped up a slice of fruitcake to toss it at him. "A very ... astute if somewhat depressing poet."

[furnaceface]

Jono sent the echo of a laugh back at her as he raised a hand to swat the fruitcake out of the way.

//I already am, luv. No, even worse. I'm a songwriter.//

[living_endless]

Didi mock-gasped. "... I -- I've been dating a songwriter?"

[furnaceface]

//All this time,// Jono agreed, putting the back of one hand against his forehead and trying to look dramatic. Considering the fact that the gesture covered up a good portion of what was left of his face, it was possible that something was lost, there. //Somebody ought to have warned yer sooner, hm, luv?//

[living_endless]

"Songwriters shouldn't just go around and -- date young girls," Didi said with wide eyes. "You might make us think about, you know. Melodies."

[furnaceface]

//Oh, the humanity.//

A fruitcake make a kamikaze leap off of the counter to pelt itself against the back of Jono's head. He managed to resist the urge to kill it horribly.

[living_endless]

Didi was distracted from answering by battering away the rain of fruitcake suddenly dropping onto her head.

"I hate fruitcake," she said. "And I hate, like, nothing. Except fruitcake."

[furnaceface]

//I can't even eat the fruitcake and I hate it,// Jono confided, catching another piece of it in mid-air and narrowing his eyes at it thoughtfully.

//Yer know, this one is just asking to be made into an example for the rest to watch and learn from.//

[living_endless]

"Fruitcake flambé?" Didi asked, more curious than scolding.

[furnaceface]

//That'd leave a stench,// Jono replied, holding the fruitcake out at arm's length and considering it carefully for a minute.

Before he very pointedly made his way over to the wastebin behind the counter.

//Observe.//

And he dropped it in.

[living_endless]

"... you threw it out?" Didi asked, squinting.

She had expected more.

[furnaceface]

//Well,// Jonothon reasoned, leaning over to peer into the can at the fruitcake, which remained put, //do you know anybody who will eat food out of the trash?//

[living_endless]

"Well, yeah, starving people," Didi said dryly. "But here on the island? Not really an issue."

[furnaceface]

//Exactly,// Jono agreed, looking rather Pleased With Himself, indeed. //And they want people to eat them, don't they? So, reasonably speaking, I've just made absolutely certain that this one's fruitcakey little dreams never come true.//

How utterly nefarious.

[living_endless]

"A songwriter and you ruin the dreams of innocent little pieces of fruitcake," Didi said, as she shook her head in mock solemnity. "Wow. That's a lot to take in."

She could not entirely sound like she disapproved.