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Caritas | Wednesday

Why break a routine, right? Nathan made it three weeks in a row in the bar on a Wednesday and three weeks in a row, he ended up behind the bar when Tino's regular bartender didn't show up again. Nathan was beginning to think this guy was on sabbatical or some shit. Or maybe he was mad at Tino.

No matter, Nathan grabbed a bottle of Irish whiskey and set it up on the bar, pouring himself a glass and downing it quickly. He wasn't thinking of the bitchy fight he'd had with Kate earlier or any of the other million weird and complicated things that had happened to him lately.

Nope, he was a man who had liquor and that would erase all those thoughts he didn't want to have right now. Okay, maybe those thoughts were sticking around but Nathan was ignoring that fact. He was toasting the band and toasting Tino and toasting Tino's attempts at singing with the band.

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"Does anyone care about your shoes?" Caroline asked him with a little look that said the answer was no, no, never. "Mine you may have noticed." Though probably only when he was looking at her legs.

"My shoes are timeless," he argued, waving a finger in her face before his eyes flicked down to her shoes. "And comfortable. But yes, I have noticed your shoes on many occasions. Your point being? Don't tell me I'm expected to compliment shoes every single time. There's only so many times I can say 'oh, those flips flops make it evident that you cut your toenails last night. How gorgeous!'"

Caroline made a face, totally needing a drink before answering that. Seriously. "I had a pedicure like, a week ago, which brings us to lesson the first - don't talk about toenail clippings, you'll make a girl puke and no one likes a chain reaction."

"Well, now you're just talking crazy," Nathan said, comically widening his eyes for effect. "Toenails comprise like half of my conversation topics. You're just taking away all my interesting bits now, Caroline. What am I gonna discuss with a girl now? Politics? The fucking weather? Her daddy issues?"

"That all depends on if you're trying to get to know her or just get into her pants. What's your goal, Nate?" Sure it was a potentially loaded question, but if they were dancing around things, she might as well make it worthwhile.

"Can't it be both?" Nathan asked, mentally patting himself on the back for gracefully dodging that potentially loaded question. "They're not mutually exclusive concepts. I could, potentially, be doing both but I don't think complimenting someone on how much blood spatter the heel of their stiletto might cause would be helpful."

"So then you tell me," Caroline replied, not liking that he'd dodged her question. "Since you seem to think you know everything. I will just sit here and listen." And drink his booze, but that was totally implied by her picking up the glass and holding it out for a refill.

She hadn't lasted long there, had she? Nathan tilted his head, trying to figure out what she was thinking before he refilled the glass and went back to leaning against the bar.

"You want me to tell you the various and always successful ways I use to pick up girls?" Nathan asked, wondering why there were about eleventy billion warning signs going off in the back of his head. "Why, Caroline, I didn't know you were so interested in the inner workings of my complex mind."

If he was potentially planning to tell her about all the girls he'd somehow managed to coerce into his bed Caroline was going to need to be drunk before he started.

Down went the drink and up went her smile. "If that's what you want to tell me about, sure! I mean, your mind being what it is...well that should just be endlessly fascinating or something, right? I might even learn something new to try myself if I ever decide to go bisexual."

"Nuh uh," Nathan said, shaking both his head and a finger at her. That hadn't been the question he'd asked. The warning signs were still blaring loudly but he ignored them.

"I asked what you wanted me to tell you," he pointed out. It wasn't the same thing as what he wanted to tell her. "Is that what you want to hear, my various pickup techniques or were you looking for something else informational from the mind of Nathan Young?"

"Yes," Caroline nodded, leaning back to give a little spin on the bar stool. Clearly she should hear both and then have a fit at him about one or the other. "Start with one and move into the other!"

She was getting drunk rather quickly. Nathan wasn't surprised since the booze was strong shit but still. He filled their glass and tossed it back before filling it again.

"Well, I don't really tend to compliment their shoes unless we're talking special occasional formal wear or they're wearing the equivalent of stripper boots or something else just as comical."

He didn't think that was shooting down her lesson but what he did know? "I have found that if you make a girl laugh, you can get them on your side for just about anything, you know. Girls do enjoy a sense of humor, raunchy or not. Instead of coming off like some greased up, roided to the max dickhead who just wants to stick it in, I come off as an adorable fucking class clown who they are now comfortable being more open with."

"So it's all a trick?" Caroline verified, pointing an accusatory finger at Nathan despite her blase tone. "You run around making your dirty comments, just waiting for some sad and pathetic girl to laugh and oops! It just slipped right in! That is totally adorable, Nathan."

"It's not a trick," he said, reaching to try and swat that finger off of him. "Why would it be a fucking trick? It's a technique but it's also a part of me. Trickery would be if I had nefarious reasons for being funny and was trying to manipulate these girls to bend to my will so I could control them like fucking puppets. I have no nefarious reasons besides both of our pleasures. I'm just a funny, adorable guy, Caroline. Haven't you noticed that by now?"

Maybe she had. Maybe it was helping drive her insane or something. Nathan pursed his lips and gave her a look for that.

"And why do they have to be sad and pathetic girls? You know, there are girls who like me that are not sad and pathetic. It does happen contrary to your popular belief."

Something was certainly driving her insane. Caroline was totally on board with blaming Nathan and his weirdly adorable ways.

"Obviously," she said, what with her being neither sad nor pathetic. Even if she was chock full of issues. "So you've had a lot of success with your technique?"

Well, it was good to see that she remembered that he'd been completely adorable a few days ago and she'd been all over him. Obviously, he'd done something right on Valentine's Day.

"I've done all right for myself, yeah," he said, reaching for the shared glass and taking a few swallows before setting it back down on the bar. "I can't complain about how well my technique's worked when I've put it into motion. By this time in my life, it's automatic. I'm just naturally funny and incredibly adorable and thus, the technique is just there."

"So you have zero control over it?" Caroline asked, swiping the glass away. She looked at him curiously. "Like it just happens no matter what you do?"

Nathan shrugged a shoulder. "It's a little more complicated than that, Caroline. Sure, I am the naturally charming, quick witted, completely appealing and devastatingly handsome bloke you see before you but I don't treat all girls the same. That would just be fucking stupid."

And if she needed any evidence to that, he'd hang a neon sign over her Valentine's Day gift. And the fact that he listened to her talk Italian for awhile just to be helpful.

"I have control over who gets the...special stuff. The deeper stuff, I guess." His tongue had loosened up with the increased amounts of alcohol.

"Ahh, so you are discerning, despite this amazingly successful technique that you've mastered over the years," Caroline teased, mainly because he used the word deeper and she was not going to blush at that.

Okay, maybe a little, but she would blame the alcohol for the redness and the smile she had to hide behind the glass.

"Well, there's only so far a technique can take you before you have to decide if you're going to push forward or break it all off," Nathan told her, using his hands to both push and pull back in case she needed some illustrations.

"And should I decide to press on, I become discerning and specific," Nathan continued, nodding. "I mean, the superficial shit ain't gonna work all the time, right? Gotta go deeper, gotta get messier. And believe me, I am not afraid of a little mess."

No, he only seemed afraid of his decaying black heart erupting with emotion.

"Superficial is fine until someone starts saying 'hey' and then all bets are off," Caroline shared, noticing she'd again emptied the glass while he talked and reaching for the bottle on the bar. "You pour slowly."

Well, erupting with emotion was a frightening thing when one didn't do it all that often. He felt his fears were valid.

Nathan watched her take the bottle before he looked back up at her, grinning lightly. "I pour at an above average pace. You just drink fast and have a tolerance that most people would kill for."

And Nathan, selfishly, enjoyed seeing her through the process of becoming drunk. She was incredibly cute while it happened. "So, your turn. I told you some stuff now you tell me. I wanna know."

"What do you wanna know?" Caroline asked, pouring for herself because he had failed at it and okay, she kind of made a little mess on the counter but shh, Tino would clean it up. "I have tons of girly knowledge. It helps that I am one, you see?" She waved the drink-free hand to indicate herself like he was blind or something.

"Yes, you're definitely a girl," he agreed, nodding at that. Even if he'd been blind, he was pretty sure all of his other senses would have told him that she was a girl. She was just one of those girls that worked it.

"Tell me anything you'd like to tell me," he said, slapping the bar and nodding. At this point, he wasn't picky. "Tell me a secret or tell me something amazing or tell me something dirty or tell me something you think I should know."

Oh wow, letting her choose while she was getting tipsy and spilling her drink and feeling rather drunkly pleased with herself for some reason or another. This was not going to end well.

"Hmm..." Or she was going to spend a while adding to her blood alcohol level while she considered what to share. "But you already know my really good secret," Caroline complained. "Which I am super amazing at keeping - oh you should know that! I am a fantastic keeper of secrets! Um, even if I told you." She was incapable of keeping a secret, actually.

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