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Little Miss Glitzy Fandom Face Pageant - Arms Hotel, Sunday Afternoon

Pageant girls are rounding up for a showdown in Fandom, Maryland at Little Miss Glitzy Fandom Face Pageant. Bringing contestants from all over the country for an intense competition of fun for all ages!

Contestants are competing for the $1,000 and the title of Ultimate Grand Supreme Poobah of all Beauty!

Who will take home the big crown? Who will go home in tears? Find out on this episode of Toddlers and Tiaras!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Where the girls, boys, non-gendered beings of various races and/or species shine

Janycee was busy on stage, performing her little heart out, thank you. And by 'performing' we mean 'looking terrified at the judges after being pushed out on stage to do something entertaining'.

So, she was waving awkwardly.

Sometimes these weird days were weird even for her.

"Now, here's a truly inspired performance," Jono sighed, eyeing the tiny competitor on the stage. "I wonder, did your parents rehearse anything with you at all, Little Miss..."

He looked at his notes.

"... Jan Icy?"

Hippies.

"My dads are crazy," Janycee - or rather, Jan - sighed. "Can I have cake?"

Please? Cake would make up for so much.

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furnaceface - 2012-01-15 19:59 (UTC) - Expand

"Cuuuuute!" Miley shrieked. "I love your dress!"

She was a terrible judge.

Jolee Beth was on stage in a slight less polyester ~~okay, that was totally a lie~~ costume for her big talent demonstration: tapdancing!

She was two and she wasn't exactly Shirley Temple here, despite the ~~terrifying~~ corkscrew curls she was sporting, but she was trying very hard.

Daddy was a little scary, all right?

Jono was well aware that he should probably be paying attention to Jolee Beth's footwork here. He was trying to. But the curls kept bouncing and it was kind of mesmerising to watch.

"I think this one is trying to hypnotize me with her hair."

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furnaceface - 2012-01-15 21:05 (UTC) - Expand

"You," Miley pronounced, pointing a wavering (from all the coffee, of course) finger at Jolee Beth, "are a thoroughbred."

This was good news!

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Jims didn't have a talent unless you counted drooling because Jims was four months old and holding his head up was pretty much his big trick.

He was dressed in a sailor suit (http://www.formalkids.com/img/template/watermark.png), complete with hat, and looked about as annoyed as a four month old could.

Rilla was beaming from the sidelines.

Jono had gotten to that point no where he was just staring in horror. He couldn't help it. These parents were all cruel and unusual.

"I'm going to give this one good marks too, on the grounds that there was no way he could possibly have resisted this cruel and unusual treatment."

It was adorable, granted, but that poor child.

Where the parents pump their kids up with all the sugar to keep them energetic for the competition!

"Jan is going to win this," Wade told the cameras. "She is the total package and if those judges don't see it, they're clearly blind and stupid."

A beat.

"You'll edit that part out, right?"

"Blind and stupid," Nathan repeated evenly. "She was made for this. Just look at her."

And her creepy Phoenix eyes.

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sith_happened - 2012-01-15 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

"We've spent months preparing Janycee for this," Nathan said seriously. "She's ready. She's more ready than any of these other children. She can crush them with her mighty fist."

"Jolee Beth, if you don't hold still for me to fix your hair--" Anakin let the threat trail off as he realized he was on camera.

The little girl on the stool by the mirror in the ~~terrifying~~ totally tasteful white dress, was practically lost in the curls and swoops and barrettes and ribbons and flashing lights of her hair.

"My first wife, God bless her soul, was a pageant winner for years," Anakin boasted. "I learned a lot about fashion and winning from her. Jolee Beth is ready."

And not above biting the other contestants, as a quick clip from backstage showed.

Edited 2012-01-15 19:11 (UTC)

Harper was multi-tasking by giving an interview while making last minute repairs on a little girl's dress.

"I've been designing and sewing clothing since I wasn't much older than these girls," she said. "But it wasn't until I got a commission to do dresses for a glitz pageant that my career really took off. A dress like this? It can cost about $5000 to make once you factor in the cost of all the Swarovski crystals. It takes a long time to individually place them by hand, but that's what it takes to win a full glitz pageant."

Where people you don't know judge your child based on insane criteria.

After his spot on The Soup today, Jono Cowell made his way to the Pageant. Because he had to judge everything.

Everything.

He was, of course, looking bored. Or, hell, even annoyed that he was there at all. There was hardly any sport in picking on children, after all.

He'd just have to snipe at the parents, instead.

Miley, too, was reprising her role as a Totally Qualified Judge by cooing over all the adorable toddlers.

And drinking ~~booze~~ coffee. Duh.

Edited 2012-01-15 19:43 (UTC)

Where people watch and/or protest the proceedings.

"Just because I'm in the house with everyone else now doesn't mean I can just leave my passions behind," Zayne's voiceover said. "Passions like protesting the exploitation and creepy sexualization of small children."

Zayne was sitting in the audience, holding a big sign that said "THIS IS CREEPY."

"JIMS' MOTHER IS A [bleep]!" Rebecca shrieked at the stage.

Rebecca Logan: Stirring up drama wherever she went. Especially on weird weekends.

"YOU'D KNOW!" Rilla shrieked back, launching herself at Rebecca.

Classily.

On Stage

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Off Stage

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The Judges

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The Audience

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OOC