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Caritas- Wednesday

The zombie drummer's left arm kept flying off.

Jaye, of course, totally refused to do anything about it, because she didn't get paid enough to reattach zombie parts. And after the third time, Tino was refusing to do it anymore and so the zombie drummer was just going to have to work without one arm tonight. So anyone who was paying attention to the music tonight might notice that the beat sounded juuuust a little off.

For some reason.

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~~Because two of the island's biggest (adult) slackers still hadn't met yet, what even~~ April stopped by the bar after her brainstorming session with Jono.

"Beer me?" she requested. Then, because she considered herself an expert on both zombies and music, she tilted her head at the slightly off-sounding zombie tunes. "Drummer's arm roll under the bar again?" she asked knowingly.

"It's... somewhere," Jaye said, handing over the beer. "It'll be like a surprise for whoever's lucky enough to find it."

Jaye.

"God, I hope a newbie finds it," April declared after taking a sip of her beer. "Or maybe a freshman. One of the really scrawny ones."

Not nice.

"They're not as shakeable as you'd think," Jaye told her. "You think they're the type to freak out and they're like, 'Oh, I'm from someplace where we run from zombies all the time, no big.'"

"Ugh. Lame." Damn already-disillusioned freshmen. "Also, lucky. Why can't I be from somewhere that has zombie bands?"

"Reasons," Jaye said. "At least it means you didn't grow up knowing all the tips to wash zombie smell out of your hair."

"That might be useful," April pointed out. "Considering the amount of times Tino's gone over there to adjust their instruments and then come back over here and touched the bar I work at."

Tino, you were the worst.

Jaye frowned and looked at Tino, then down at the bartop.

Then she shrugged and leaned on the bar anyway.

"Eh, I haven't caught zombie yet."

"Yay," April said dryly, waving an imaginary flag in the air.

...This was how April bonded.

"Unless it's dormant."

Was there a zombie vaccine?

"If it is, you can just sue Tino really hard when it hits you," April said with a shrug. "And go around the island and spread it everywhere to make everyone panic."

April Ludgate: Worst person to have around in a zombie BDE. No, really.

"Eh. I saw the zombie thing happen here once. The idea of looting was fun? Otherwise..."

Oh, shut it, Jaye, you were out of town and too lazy to the actual looting when you got back.

"You looted during a zombie outbreak?" Congrats, Jaye, April now had a lot of respect for you. "Nice. That's my strategy for the zombie apocalypse, easy."

"That and not get bit?" It was a vital part.

"Duh." Come on now, Jaye. "How're you supposed to loot when you're all zombified and your arm keeps falling off?"

"...Pick up someone else's?"

What.

April considered that. "A normal one or a zombie one?"

"Either one works. I mean, if you're a zombie and you have their arm, they're pretty much done using it."

She had a point.

Yes, yes she did.

"True," April conceded. "Or I could just get one of those sticks people use to pick up trash, and not have to worry about arms." Well. "Except for my own. Obviously."

"How would you carry it?" Jaye wondered.

"Mouth, maybe?" No, April, that was a bad idea. "Last resort, I could use my toes."

"Then how do you walk?"

Jaye, why are you trying to make this logical?

"Oh, my first move would be to get one of those hotel cart things," April clarified. "Like I'm gonna be walking during the zombie apocalypse."

See, Jaye, she had this covered.

"You know those aren't motorized, right?" Shh, she'd lived in a hotel once. The Hyperion totally had them somewhere, right?

"So I could row with my retrieval-stick," April reasoned. "What, do you have a better idea?"

"Golf carts," she replied so immediately you'd think she hadn't just come up with that.

April's eyes lit up, intrigued. "Do they have those here?"

"I bet they do in Special Collections," she said with a shrug. No, seriously, she'd planned none of this out.

"And that is...?"

Oh, April, you sweet summer child.

"It's the part of the library where they keep all the scary stuff," Jaye replied. "I hear that's where Jimmy Hoffa's buried."

"Who?" Look, she was still a teacup. "And I don't know if I'm actually allowed to go in there. School and all." She shrugged. "Zombie apocalypse hits and you make it out of there with a golf cart, gimme a call? I'm really good at shooting things."

...What even was this conversation?

Welcome to talking to Jaye!

"Sure. I mean, if the towers haven't gone down- do we have cell towers?- but if you can get to the school I'm sure I'll find you." Unless they flooded the library again.

[[~~OOPS CAN'T READ. you didn't see that.~~]]

"Deal," April said. "I'm pretty sure the cell service here is at least half-magic anyway. Normally you can never get service in places that look this old."

...Logic.

Edited 2012-07-12 03:28 (UTC)

Well, this wasn't so much at the bar, but.

Kitty had been in the office, trying to get checks taken care of and paperwork done and all that fun stuff that wasn't actually any fun, and she'd just realized she was feeling weird. Not bad, just weird.

Really, you'd think someone would have warned her about this...

Or at least warned her to keep the door open, god.

It wasn't till Jaye was heading over in that area that she heard the scratching at the office door. It took a good minute of debating what might be behind it before she finally turned the doorknob to open it.

And sitting there, with a pile of clothes on the office chair behind her, was an itty bitty lion cub who looked really annoyed.

Annoyed and adorable.

Jaye stared at the Kitty kitty for a moment.

"TINO!" she yelled. "IT'S FOR YOU!"

People are very loud today.

This post kind of demands it:

What has 9 arms and sucks?

Def Leppard.

*rimshot noise* (http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true)

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Caritas- Wednesday

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