fandomtownies | Caritas, Saturday

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Caritas, Saturday

Well, all of April's friends and boyfriends from Pawnee were officially dumb loser jerks for not showing up to keep her company this weekend, but that was fine, because she had an alcoholic juice box and some snacks stolen from the sock hop to keep her company.

Wait, that actually sounded kinda sad.

Still, April could be found behind the bar tonight, taking the occasional ~~sip~~ gulp of spiked fruit punch and promising Tino that if he tried following her example, he would be fired.

April did not have the authority to hire and fire. Whether Tino knew that or not was unclear.

THIS BAR DOES NOT CARD AND IT'S LESS BAREFOOT AND RIDICULOUS THAN THE PARTY
TELL ME AN ENTERTAINING STORY AND YOUR DRINK IS FREE

[[if you ping in after 11 or so my time and i haven't answered pings in a while, feel free to mod tino!]]

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"So, I met David Bowie today and bloody near pissed myself," Jono said, as a conversation starter, as he pulled up a seat at the bar. "Booze me, please."

He needed it. A lot of it. More than that, actually, if you don't mind, April.

April arched an eyebrow delicately, reaching for a lager and sliding it across the bar to Jono.

"Did you make out with him?"

That was a joke, Jono. Not that she thought it was completely out of the question.

Not even remotely out of the question. This was David Bowie. Jono would do a lot of things with him that he wouldn't consider doing with most mere male mortals.

"I would've been too tongue-tied to try," he admitted, reaching for the lager like a parched man in a desert. "And to make it worse, I was playing Ziggy Stardust on my guitar when he showed up. In my Boards. Singing along."

"You little groupie," she remarked, fondly - or as fondly as April ever got, anyway. "Did you flash him and tell him you're his biggest fan?"

Mean.

"... In retrospect, I'm almost sorry I didn't," Jono replied, after a moment of consideration. "David Bowie was in my theatre, April. Singing to music I was playing. Being... Bowie."

Really, he was going to need a lot more alcohol.

"Seriously, that's amazing," she said sincerely, though she did follow it up with, "I know meeting a crush can be very exciting."

Pause. "Wait, hold on, dude, I just thought of an amazing perk of the portal system," she said suddenly. "You realize you could go see, like, any show ever performed in history, and portal right into the backstage after for stalking?"

"You now, I was on-board with your plan until the 'stalking' bit," Jono admitted, smirking faintly. "I used to talk with my ex, once, about going with her to see Woodstock. It never really came to pass, but that was the dream..."

"I can't even tell you how much I would want to see you at Woodstock," April said truthfully.

"Never heard you mention an ex before," she added casually after sipping from her juice box. "It's not Hannah Montana, right?"

Jono would be such a kid in a candy store at Woodstock. It would be amazing.

"Please don't tell me you found that video on YouTube. I was press-ganged onto that bloody stage, you know. And no, it wasn't Hannah Montana."

Though there was an AU kid that one time...

"I've got a few exes, actually. After about the third, I decided it was probably a good idea to just not attempt dating again."

Cash Ranch Starsmore was the best AU kid to ever live. FACT.

"It's my ringtone when you text me," April informed him. "You sound traumatized. Were they all assholes? Or, like, weird groupies who were only into you for your mad guitar skills?"

"I accidentally crippled the first one with my face and she retaliated by attempting to have me eaten by a cannibal," Jono replied, raising an eyebrow. "The second one was Death- and the best thing that ever happened to me. She died."

... That was still difficult to say. Good to know.

"And then there was Raven. We worked out alright for a while, but we ended on... a bad note, not long after I wound up looking like this. There was another one, Amanda, in there as well, but girls I sleep with while I'm brainwashed don't count."

That was the rule he'd just made up.

...yeah, April had not expected that.

"Dude," she said, really sincere now. "Sorry. That's. Shit."

She reached for another lager and slid it across the bar, fully intending to make Tino pay for it.

"You beat up a cannibal, though? Props."

Deadpan humor. Always a good way to get rid of emotions.

"Actually, I was buried in the ground to just above the shoulder while my teammates at the time took care of the cannibal." Jono shrugged and reached for lager number two, nodding his thanks. "Did take out Dracula - not the same as the one on the island - once by knocking down a wall after sunrise, though."

"Damn." That was quite a feat. "What'd you knock it down with?"

Interesting choice of follow-up question, but okay.

"My face."

Yeah, that sounded pretty hardcore, didn't it?

"Er, the fire where my face should've been, anyhow."

... Nope. Still hardcore.

She whistled. "Did it hurt?"

"Being on fire, or breaking down the wall?"

He gave his shoulders a shrug.

"Neither did, honestly. Losing my face and chest hurt more than anything you can probably imagine, but after that, it was mostly just... not much of anything. Cold, I suppose."

Figuring it was about time he checked out Kitty's bar, Logan walked in and took a seat. He could see the appeal of this place for a small town, but it wasn't really the best thing for a guy with enhanced senses. Karaoke for a guy with his hearing was just miserable. And the zombies definitely didn't agree with his nose.

But the place had beer, so he'd deal.

There was no way Clint was going to the sock hop, so when Barney headed back to the hotel, he headed for the bar. He'd planned on sitting by himself, but when he saw Logan... well, the sideburns were a giveaway from Kitty talking about him. "Hey. Is anyone sitting here?" he asked, pointing to the nearest empty stool.

"Just you, Barton," Logan said without even looking up. "Next round's on you."

"Okay, but remember I'm on a teacher's salary," Clint joked, sitting down. "Has your visit gone well? I know Kitty's happy you're here."

"Send the bill to Stark. I do the same with Chuck Xavier when I'm running low," Logan said. "It's been fine. Weird little place you've got, but she's happy here. That's about the only thing that matters."

"It's definitely a weird place, but you get used to it after a while." Clint shrugged. "It's not altogether weirder than New York, and we have people trying to kill us a lot less often."

"In my world, you wear a whole lot of purple and the same mask I do. Here you're dating one o' my favorite people in the world," Logan said. "This is much weirder, bub."

"Hey, purple is a totally respectable color. And I'm dating one of my favorite people too, for the record," Clint said.

"There's a difference, bub. She's one of your favorites 'cause you're her boyfriend. I'm more like a much, much older brother. And maybe that makes me a bit protective," Logan said before taking a swig of his beer. "That doesn't mean we can't be friendly. In fact, one of her exes is on o' my best friends in the world. But you don't wanna know what happened to him after he broke her heart."

"Hey, I would very much like us to be friendly." Because he liked his body without claw holes in it, thanks. "I don't have any intention of breaking Kitty's heart, for what that's worth. Which might not be a lot because that's what everyone says when they care about someone but... that's where we are now, at least."

"From what I understand, the version o' you I've met a few times has had what I'm gonna call an interestin' romantic history. I know a thing or five about that type o' thing myself, so I'm not judging," Logan said. "Just makin' sure we're clear so we can get on with the male bonding." By which he meant beer.

Gee, thanks for being a jerk, other him. "We're clear. Break her heart and I'll get broken," Clint said with a nod. "Makes sense to me."

"With that out of the way, how'd you end up here?" Logan asked. "I get Kitty coming here to be a teacher bartender whatever else she does. But the place doesn't seem like it needs all that much Avenging."

"This started out as part vacation, part assignment," Clint said. "Now it's part assignment, part me being attached to the place. It's just weird enough to have SHIELD's interest."

"Between the alternate universes and the flying whatevers Kitty was telling me about earlier, that makes sense," Logan said. "You still active doing missions away from here, or is this it for now?"

"I'll come back if I'm needed, but things have been kind of quiet," Clint said, knocking his hand on the bar. "This is probably the longest I've stayed out of trouble."

"My record's about a week. Give or take," Logan said.

"See, I think you and I will get along just fine," Clint said, flagging down Tino for two more beers.

I have to say, I cracked up at the sock hop. I HAVE THOSE SOCKS! Well, the left one. Those are awesome socks!

Ha! I just googled "Halloween socks." Glad you approve!

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Caritas, Saturday

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