Jono Starsmore (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
furnaceface) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomtownies2016-03-11 04:52 pm
furnaceface) wrote in fandomtownies2016-03-11 04:52 pm
Entry tags:
The Park, Friday Afternoon
Some days were 'feed the ducks' days.
Not for any particular reason, really. Sometimes Jono was feeling a bit down, sometimes he just wanted to get out of the house and stretch his legs. Today's reason wasn't either of those things. He already was stretching his legs, enjoying an afternoon jog, when on his way along the path by the pond he realized it had been a while since he'd just sort of taken a seat on the bench and enjoyed the quiet that the park had to offer.
Well, the relative quiet, anyway. Ducks squabbling with one another for a piece of bread were hardly silent.
Either way, he'd made a quick detour, stopped by T&C for a small loaf of bread, and then made his way back to the park to do just that. The ducks didn't seem to care either way about the man on fire, at least. They were far more interested in the food he was tossing their way.
[OOC: Just wanted a little fluff today. The park is open!]
Not for any particular reason, really. Sometimes Jono was feeling a bit down, sometimes he just wanted to get out of the house and stretch his legs. Today's reason wasn't either of those things. He already was stretching his legs, enjoying an afternoon jog, when on his way along the path by the pond he realized it had been a while since he'd just sort of taken a seat on the bench and enjoyed the quiet that the park had to offer.
Well, the relative quiet, anyway. Ducks squabbling with one another for a piece of bread were hardly silent.
Either way, he'd made a quick detour, stopped by T&C for a small loaf of bread, and then made his way back to the park to do just that. The ducks didn't seem to care either way about the man on fire, at least. They were far more interested in the food he was tossing their way.
[OOC: Just wanted a little fluff today. The park is open!]
no subject
"And... you have met yourself now?" she asked carefully. Hey, she was really trying here! "That's good, I guess."
no subject
//It means I took a bit of time to think about whether there were any parts of me that I actually liked having around,// he explained, //and in the end, I found that there were more than I realized. That discovery was more of a surprise than it really ought to be... but it's one I'm glad I had.//
It was one of the reasons he was sitting outside in a very public place with his flames not hidden, for a start.
no subject
She still liked wings best, but it wasn't Jono's fault he didn't have any - she didn't either - and maybe they'd be a part he'd like to keep if he had them.
It took a minute for her to decide how to respond, because her initial thought was somewhere along the lines of what did he think he might not like? An arm? A leg? But then she sort of realized what he was really talking about.
"There are lots of parts of me I'd rather not have around," she said. "Maybe most of me. But, I guess sometimes I can help people and that's good and I know lots of times you help people so there have to be lots of good parts of you."
no subject
He tilted his head at her, and then offered her a slice of bread.
//The desire and the ability to help others... that means a lot more than it might feel like, you know.//
no subject
But Jono was good and kind and she'd never seen him be anything else. He said he'd done bad things, but it was very hard to believe. Still, if he had...
She looked up at him, uncertainty and disbelief warring in her face with maybe the tiniest bit of hope, and took the piece of bread. "I want to help people and sometimes I can. But it doesn't feel like even a little."
She looked down at the bread, wondering if she was supposed to make it smaller or just throw the whole thing. One of the ducks, tired of waiting, pecked sharply at her ankle and she yelped, her face a picture of shock and surprise as she dropped the bread and pulled both legs quickly up onto the bench. "It, it bit me or something! I didn't know ducks had teeth!"
The duck in question, meanwhile, strutted off happily with its lump of bread.
no subject
//They don't,// he replied, tearing off a few extra pieces of bread to keep the ducks distracted for a minute. //Most of them are dabblers, and fairly harmless. He was just trying to get your attention, is all. You alright, luv?//
no subject
And her face softened as she thought of the little baby she'd brought safely into the world. It had taken a great deal of magic to save him and his mother, but she'd done it. Passing out unconscious for hours after was a small price to pay. Still, her bed would feel good tonight and maybe she'd sleep an extra hour or two before her nightmares woke her.
"I am glad that you are realizing what a good person you are. Though it seems crazy that you don't know that already. Ask anyone who knows you!"
no subject
Ah, did he ever.
//An honestly... it isn't the ones who know me that I'm concerned about. They've all already told me what they think, and it marries up tidily to what you do. But nobody knows what's in my head quite the same way I do. A few good turns now won't undo some of the things I've done.//
He suspected she understood that better than most.
no subject
She wrapped her arms around her knees, pulling her legs up tight to her torso. "But I try anyway. I have to."
no subject
//Of course you have to,// he murmured. //Because if you didn't, it would mean you didn't care. It would mean that you thought that what you had done was right, or that the damage that was done wasn't so severe. Why do you suppose I work so hard to help people as often as I possibly can, luv? It's hard to escape from that need to make things right, even if you know it's not something that can ever be achieved.//
no subject
She looked up again. "I don't mean I deserve for it to feel better - at least not a lot."
She shook her head. "Never mind. That's stupid. I just have to try very hard to help people and never let the magic get out when it shouldn't." Her hand rubbed at the bracer under her left sleeve. "I can't ever let it get out."
no subject
//It takes more than just helping people,// he said, finally. //That's a start, but it isn't all there is to it. There's a part of you that you're terrified of, and rightly so, but if that's the only part of you that you ever acknowledge, then it won't ever feel better. You can't move beyond fear and self-loathing if all you ever recognize are those parts of you that you think should be hated and feared.//
He raised one hand for a moment, let the fire play around his fingertips.
//It took me a long time to realize that. That even though I've hurt people, even though I've done things that I can never take back, there are still parts of me that are more than just a weapon. Good parts. The parts that want to make things better, the parts that want to help, that love to help. That there's more to me than this terrifying power and the history of pain that goes with it.//
no subject
She still didn't understand why he hadn't and wasn't sure that he'd made a good decision, but he had spared her life and he was letting her try to be a Hawk and maybe someday, just maybe, she'd be able to stand for something really good.
no subject
//This Hawklord... don't you suppose he kept you alive and gave you a chance because he believes that you have it in you to succeed? That you have the makings of a Hawk in you, you just need to do some growing first, before you can really embrace them?//
no subject
But he was the Hawklord and she wasn't about to let anyone say anything bad about him - not even her. And he had gone to the Dragon Emperor, argued that she not be killed - put down like some vicious animal that couldn't be controlled. There had to be a reason.
"I don't know," she said finally.
It wasn't something she could really accept. Still...
"Maybe."
It was the best you were going to get, Jono, and more than she'd ever believed she could even think of.
no subject
//I need you to do me a favour, Kaylin,// he said, gently. //I need you to spend some time thinking about what those things might be. What it was that he saw in you, where that potential might have come from. Everything that the Hawks are meant to be, be it compassionate, smart, or strong... if you clearly didn't have the capacity to be those things, ask yourself if he's the sort of person who would take that gamble with anybody else. Sometimes it's easier to see, if you put anybody but yourself in those very same shoes.//
Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
She put a hand over her mouth quickly. She'd never admitted that to anybody.
When she'd been sent to assassinate him, she'd known she couldn't. How could a 13 year old street rat kill the Hawklord? She couldn't. And she knew if she tried he would kill her without blinking. But with the things she had done, the things that had happened in her life, she'd thought that would be a good thing.
"I can try, but I don't think I'll ever understand."
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
//My second chance came when Thrash talked me out of jumping,// he said, gently. //Gave me a place to belong in the world. Reminded me that even though I couldn't make what I had done right, I could make something right, could be worth something again. I owe him a lot for that. I understand where you're coming from, Kaylin. I really do. And I can't make it better for you, any more than anyone can make it better for me. But I can tell you there's hope. There's a place for even people like us in the world. Sometimes we just have to carve that place out for ourselves, and our own worst enemy in the getting there is us.//
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
Kaylin turned to face him squarely. "I just have to be good and not mess up."
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
//I think that's something that's completely doable, for you,// he decided. //You'll be a Hawk, luv, and they'll be happy to have you. I have every faith in that.//
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
Kaylin searched his eyes, then smiled at him. A quiet, shy smile, but still a smile. "I hope you're right. I think you are. It's all I want."
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
//Then that's an excellent start,// Jono replied. //And when you finally do get accepted as a Hawk, you'll have to let me know. I'll want to congratulate you.//
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
It was hard to wait and harder still to be here away from the Hawks and the family she'd made of them, but it would all be worth it in the end. She knew it would.
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
As the intensity of the conversation wound down, her exhaustion from the night reared its head and a massive yawn overtook her. "Sorry," she said, blushing a bit. "I think I could just curl up and sleep here."
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to
Re: Possible trigger warnings - past trauma alluded to