fandomtownies | Outside the Ruins of Pizza Planet, Sunday Morning

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Outside the Ruins of Pizza Planet, Sunday Morning

"This," Dante said, "Has got to be the most depressing part of the week so far."

No, the entire town being in disrepair wasn't it. Running into Kathy wasn't it. Fighting a tentacle beast wasn't it.

He picked a sliver of cardboard with the Pizza Planet logo still on top of it up out of the debris, and sighed. "Shitting hell."

[[ open. idek. ]]

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"I think you could fuck someone's mother, no problem," Dante said, "Give yourself some credit."

"You know, I gave it some thought, but Fandom is missing a mothers' singles scene," Kathy said, shaking her head. "Talk about putting a kink in my sex life." She paused and reconsidered. "Or not putting one in, as the case may be."

Dante grinned a little. "Guess it's time to branch out again."

"I just say no to dendrophilia," Kathy said. And then before he could ask, supplied, "Tree-fucking."

Dante snickered. "I think I've seen Mooby porn like that once."

Of course.

"And now I officially know more about your porn watching habits that I think I wanted to," Kathy said with a laugh. "I don't know what's worse--the tree-fucking or Mooby."

"It's your fault," Dante said, shrugging. "Tumblr."

Kathy burst out laughing. "I--I can't even argue with that," she sputtered. Oh god, it felt so good to laugh. "I've sent you plumbing the depths of Tumblr porn. How far down do the tentacles go, Dante?"

This was a dark path to go down, Kathy.

"I've seen some really fucked up all-the-way-through shit..."

"I have never regretted anything as much as I do asking that question," Kathy said immediately. It wasn't true, of course, but it needed to be said. "Also, just wait to you get, like, stabby-incest porn. That's, like, a really popular kink."

For some reason.

Long pause. "That's weirdly specific," Dante said, "But whatever gets people off, I guess?"

"That's only one of many," Kathy said with a sigh. "But then, I never check out tentacle porn. I'm waaay too East Asian for that."

Dante shrugged one shoulder. "Hey, I fought a tentacle monster yesterday..."

"The boat?" Kathy couldn't remember Isabela's name. "You got suckered onto the boat? Really?"

"What?" Dante said, pulling a face. Half-confused, half-disgusted. "No, I mean the weird one with the giant bird."

"The weird one..." Her eyes widened. "Oh, shit! Cecil? How many of you died?"

"... Nobody?" Dante offered. "Well, except Cecil."

Good riddance, frankly. He hated that guy.

"So nothing of value was lost," Kathy snarked.

"I didn't cry about it," Dante allowed.

"Not that crying is your style regardless," Kathy said.

If it were, perhaps there'd be less sibling-induced trauma masks running about.

It was funny what decent coping skills could do to keep you from overly weird, dramatic gestures like that.

Dante shrugged. "I got better things to do with my time," he agreed. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "You wanna go for a walk?"

"A walk?" Kathy didn't even bother to hide her surprise. "Yeah, sure. Okay. Gonna warn you, though, the sights aren't exactly thrilling this time of year."

Or anytime of year.

"Not even a couple?" Dante joked. "Here I was hoping to catch like, a monster with three heads or something."

"That one got put down about two months ago," Kathy deadpanned. Was she serious? Was she joking? WHO KNEW?!

"Though, in honesty, I'd avoid the beach. There's a killer mermaid there and she's more dangerous than most." Kathy had no idea who the mermaid was or once had been. Even if she'd once known, she'd forgotten entirely. "You might think I'm joking, but, for real, she's terrifying."

Well.

That made Dante's face blanch a bit.

"Did you say mermaid?"

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godilovedthis.livejournal.com - 2016-12-19 17:57 (UTC) - Expand

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