fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest, Tuesday Night

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The Devil's Nest, Tuesday Night

It was Tuesday, and the Devil was done sleeping off the weekend. It had been an inspiring one, especially near the end, as one could tell by the music flowing from his piano right now.

Well, maybe it had been that, and 'googling how to make anaemic pop palatable'.

Either way, you could kind of tell what he was playing if you squinted.

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Yeah, no kidding.

Octavia was still looking at him like she didn't know what to do with him.

"You really need to figure out this 'fixing people' thing, Duke."

"I'm working on it, okay?" Duke snapped. "I didn't even know I did it until that damn truth day or whatever. Fuck." He rubbed his hands down his face. "Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Don't snap at me," Octavia replied.

If 'pointedly calm' was a thing, that was what her tone was right there.

Duke bit back his response. Actually bit, down on his lower lip, then replaced it with his glass, tossing back a healthy belt.

"I'm -- frustrated," he said through his teeth. "I am working on it, but I don't know how, so having someone tell me that I should be working on it isn't particularly helpful."

"I think," Octavia replied, a little more careful now, "you've been working on figuring out how to stop doing it. I'm asking you to figure out what counts as trying to fix someone."

"Yeah, well. You have any tips on that?"

"Try asking."

She tried not to make that as dry as it came out. Honestly, she tried.

"That's literally what I'm doing right now."

Duke maybe needed to sleep for two days, himself.

Octavia could confirm two days might not have been enough.

She sighed. "I mean in the moment," she clarified. "Instead of pulling back because you think you might be doing it."

Duke snorted. "Right. I'll just pause in the middle of a conversation and say 'hey, does it seem like I'm trying to fix you right now?'"

Octavia's own sigh sounded a little more frustrated now, too.

"Well, if you want to keep having to hash everything out days later, that's your choice."

Duke bit back on another snide reply. He really didn't want to argue with her right now.

He sipped his drink, resisting the urge to just toss it all back, his hand pressed to the edge of the bar like he was using it to hold himself up.

Maybe coming out tonight had been a mistake. Maybe he should just go home.

Octavia watched him in silence, reeling her own annoyance, her own frustration back in.

"Look," she sighed, after a moment, "I'm not trying to be an ass." It was just an unfortunate side effect. "I'm on your side. I'm just..."

Tired, and still kind of rusty when it came to caring about people without also ruling over them.

Helpless.

"It hurts when you're not okay."

Duke huffed softly. "Yeah. That's usually when I try to fix things."

Octavia shifted closer to him. It seemed like a whim, like she had a thought and then immediately moved with it before she could second-guess it away.

"You can be there for us without trying to fix everything," she murmured. Maybe that was all she'd really wanted to say. "Or without it being about fixing anything."

"I thought that was what I was doing," Duke said, glancing over at her. "Last week at the diner. I don't -- every instinct I have is either throw myself at a problem or run away."

Octavia reached for his arm, to put her hand on it.

"Maybe tell me, next time you're stuck choosing between those?" she suggested, quietly.

"You were barely even vocal, Tavi," Duke said quietly. "I'm not going to make you deal with me when you're barely able to deal with yourself."

Octavia gave his arm a little squeeze.

"But haven't we kind of made a pact to deal with each other?" she tried.

Duke let out a slow breath and nodded. "I -- I'll try, alright? But . . . I'm still not used to it. Letting other people in."

"Me neither."

That was not news, Octavia.

She shifted that last bit closer and leaned against his side, lightly. "And I should've told you to... hold me or something, but I didn't."

Because she was still trying to learn that, too.

"That's hard for you," Duke said. "I know that. What's -- what's the difference between trying to help and trying fix?"

"Well, if we take my inability to say I want a hug..." Octavia said, completely failing to hit the wry tone she'd been going for and ending up just mild instead.

She paused for a thought. And wound her arm slowly around his back.

"Trying to help is something like asking if I want something like that. Or offering it." Tiny shrug. "And I think trying to fix is more like... Trying to find something that'll magically make me not need anything like that in the first place. Taking on way too big a burden when you could just be doing a small thing."

Duke leaned into her grip. "Yeah, alright. I guess that makes sense."

Octavia leaned further into it, herself.

"You're not responsible for my happiness, jaka," she said, quietly. "Or anyone else's."

The Devil's Nest, Tuesday Night

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