fandomtownies | Caritas; Wednesday [08/11].

Entry tags:

Caritas; Wednesday [08/11].

"Why would Rosa Diaz steal your plants?" asked Summer, eventually, when she finally had enough of listening to Tino and his ridiculous complaints about his ridiculous new horticulture hobby.

He insisted that it was true, though, and Summer, instead of asking why he was even bothering to tell her any of this as if she cared, just shrugged unapologetically at him and said, "Well. That's what you get for bringing all your plants to the bar."

Some of them were nice, she felt, because a little natural foilage for decoration could be kind of nice! But this was definitely excessive, and a little disappointing, because, come on, Tino, if you were going to clutter her workspace with plants, at least make some of them the good kind of plants, if you know what she means. But at least it was kind of nice that she'd made a mojito shot today so that she could actually garnish them all with some fresh-as-can-be mint!

While promptly ignoring the whithering look Tino gave her every time she plucked off a leaf.

Hey. Like she said, if you didn't want shit happening to your plants, Tino, maybe don't bring them to the bar.

Wednesday Jello Shot Specials!

First One Free to All Wednesday Activity Participants!

Coconut Raspberry Mojito
Raspberry Mousse Cookie
Raspberry Fluff

Caritas is open!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sometime during the evening Summer got a text message.

Can't come in tonight, cat emergency.

Seivarden assumed Summer a) would worry if she didn't show up and b) would understand cat emergencies.

Okay, sure, but now Summer was worried about cat emergencies!

omg! is issa okay?????

Which was probably significantly more urgency and question marks than other people-related emergencies might receive, but, hey, people could handle themselves and were more than likely in an emergency out of personal stupidity, but, hey, you know...

She jumped down on to the table and broke the tea set. Now she's hiding under the couch.

So Seivarden had both a scared cat to deal with and a broken tea set to clean up. Luckily it wasn't the best one.

Summer was pretty sure Seivarden could feelsurprised, if she thought about who she was talking to for more than two seconds, but there was definitely a facepalm before her fingers flew over her response.

r U ok, then? I mean, broken tea set, that's just TRAGIC.

And she hadn't exactly meant to type out this next part, but something seemed to compel her to, anyway, beyond her usual sometimes habit of texting her thoughts outloud, so to speak:

if i considered it an emergency every time pancakes broke something u guys would probably never see me

Issa is upset and the floor is full of glass. I have to clean it up.

Why would a tea set ever be more important than Issa?

shes a cat. the entirety of existence is upsetting

But it did sound like maybe it was a little more of a mess than Summer had immediately presumed, thinking of a few chipped cups and maybe a split saucer or two, so she eased up a little on her judgey-mcjudgerson-ness.

A LITTLE.

well be careful. dont cut urself. no one wants to hear ignis complain about how hard it is to get blood out of carpet

You won't have to. Anyway, just wanted to let you know why I'll miss the jello shots. I haven't disappeared or turned into something.

She didn't even realise that perhaps she should question Summer's assumption that Ignis did the cleaning.

To be fair, Summer had met Ignis.

And she was frowning at her phone a little, her brow creased with the question of whether she should have been more concerned about times Seivarden might not show up.

i mean, im definitely not going to spend all night wringing my hands and losing sleep over it if u dont come in some nights. shit happens? people have lives?

I can save some for u if u want tho! they're all raspberry, no gross ones this week! we...had a LOT of raspberries at the store this week idk why, i know i'm in charge of that stuff but the store has a mind of its own u know?

Had she missed the night with no gross ones?

I do know. And thank you. I might need them.

After the cat drama, she meant.

then consider them SAVED! But like dont take too long claiming them because they get a little gross after too long

There was a pause.

grosser than usual

Look, if you got right down to it, even Summer had to admit (especially today) that jello was kind of gross and weird no matter how you dressed them up.

If you stop by with them after work I'll offer tea, leftovers from Ignis and an historical drama.

Seivarden felt lonely, Summer.

That is way too late for tea and movies that will definitely put me to sleep within, like, five seconds

And Summer's fingers seemed to move without thinking, and not even in the usual way when she added:

also wednesdays nights are sacred for prying barry away from his work for sex

Which, wow, okay, Summer's fingers, TMI much? She wrinkled her nose at her phone.

I'll drop them off, but i cant stay.

obvs.

She almost actually wanted to add that she was sorry, but since she was absolutely not, not even a little, she couldn't.

That was unexpectedly explicit, but Seivarden decided to ignore it.

Understandable. Although now I'm feeling even more like a miserable failure than I usually do.

She pressed send before she had even thought about what she had just typed.

Which Big Oof, if True.

i mean we can just watch it tomorrow if it means that much to u?

But then she sighed, rolling her eyes, because she knew what was going to come out of her next before she even started typing it:

OR i could come over and watch the movie and have tea. it's fine. it's not like barry's going anywhere.

A pause, somewhat worried.

At least I hope not

Another pause.

i mean that's a legit thing that could happen, u know!

Aaaaand now she was worried. Great.

You should see him if that's what you agreed.

Seivarden might be a bit self-centred, but she wasn't going to ask Summer to give up an evening with Barry.

Although I hardly think he's going anywhere.

That was her true opinion.

It would mean a lot for me if you stopped by tomorrow though.

She cringed a little as she sent that.

its not like i really expect any of this to be permanent anyway, Summer typed, in strong but not exactly willing defiance of the proof of this already being the longest she'd ever been with anyone by a huge margin.

tomorrow's better. let's do tomorrow. the last thing i need right now is to be sitting there tired AND horny watching some movie with a ton of ships in it

Yes, that detail was important to the context.

ill even make new jello for it, how's that?

Perfect. And it doesn't have to be about ships. Actually, fewer ships. They usually get them wrong anyway. Either they're just things or they're crazy.

I save the ones with ships for Amaya, that's the only way to get her to stop by for movie nights.

I mean actual ones

Maybe they should continue this tomorrow.

i mean the ships aren't a problem if i'm not horny

There was a LOT of sighing directed at Summer's phone right now.

pls delete this entire exchange from ur phone. also i thought you and amaya werent doing quotation-mark MOVIE NGHTS anymore??

We're not. It's too complicated, even if she does have really nice arms.

It couldn't get much worse, could it?

I didn't know you also had a thing for spaceships.

Not that I have. Generally. Just one exception.

But I'm obviously not prejudiced.

In case Summer was worried.

I don't have a THING for spaceships. I dated ONE spaceship. That doesn't make it a THING, anymore than you being in love with ONE spaceship makes it a thing for YOU.

But, you know, when someone is literally tailored to your personality and programmed to know EXACTLY what you like, it sort of leaves an impression.

She went crazy, though, and so my grampa rick blew her up after i drove her into a lake, which u guys literally have a whole GENRE of films about that EXACT SAME SITUATION, so, you know, clearly it shouldn't be a big deal.

Needless to say, let's NOT do one of those movies.

I think maybe you should talk about that with Breq, was Seivarden's unplanned response.

We can watch something without ships. Historical romance?

You never told me about the ship. Did it love you back the same way?

Seivarden probably wouldn't have asked that normally.

After a much needed shower and change, Dwight headed over to Caritas for a drink. And probably some jello shots too if he was honest.

"Hey, Summer" he said with a wave as he took a seat. "How's post-shenanigan business going today?"

"Kind of dead, actually," Summer admitted, with a deeper frown that she would have usually allowed as she looked around a little, then tried to shrug it off. "I'm always a little bummed out when this place is empty on a Wednesday, like, geez, guys, what'd I do wrong, or something?"

She chuckled a little as if to pass it off as just a joke even though it really, really wasn't.

"It's still early, though," she reasoned, mostly to convince herself that it was fine. "Nice work on the mud run, though! I gotta admit," literally, she had to!, "pretty glad to get out of that one myself."

"Best not to take things too personally. Lot of it is probably just coincidence" Dwight said with a nod. "I'm sure people would find a more direct way to let you know that they were annoyed or it was something more personal."

Dwight stopped for a moment. Ok normally that would have come out a little more delicately.

"And yeah, still early. People will start coming in later... or they wont.... can only wait and see what happens."

OK that was weird. It was like whatever he was thinking came out- no filter no pause... Dwight sighed, realizing it was probably an island thing kicking up again.

"Anyways... yeah this time, shenanigans wasn't too bad. Reminded me of boot camp. With less cursing and yelling and more whining and complaining and flailing."

"Yeah, I know that," Summer sighed, lifting up her hands a moment as useless slave to the objective truth, "but, like, I also have this thing where I'm deeply obsessed with my own complete uselessness and expendability thanks to a life of being an unwanted failed abortion and a persistent drive to just be loved and accepted no matter what that was amped up by a whirlwind of being face with the absolute existential inevitability of one's own pointlessness in the grand scheme of the crap shoot that is the multiverse during some of my more formitable and impressionable years..."

There was a pause.

A long, loooooong pause, and Summer blinked.

"So!" Summer said, with forced brightness. "If we can just move right past that, what can I get you, Dwight, and ohmygod, tell me about boot camp. I would love to hear all about boot camp, although, admittedly, that is mostly just because that means I will stop talking for long enough to shove my foot and my mouth and stop wishing I could just go die now."

Yeah.... that was a lot. And Dwight had a feeling that about 99.9% of that had never been intended to come out.

He gave Summer a somewhat of a "gonna forget all of that, don't worry" smile and nod.

"I'll take one of each of the specials today" he said with a nod. "Gonna need them if I'm gonna go talking about boot camp and all that... Cuz yeah, that was some of the best times of my life in some ways and also some of the worst... I mean, I only enlisted because it was what a 'good blue-blooded patriotic American boy' did ya know? Boot camp itself sucked balls, but that's kinda the point of it all. I did meet some good guys during it all, especially Tuck, but all in all it's one of those 'good memories in some ways' kinda deal, but overall looking back it was the start of some less than great times..."

Dwight paused, internally fighting with himself to stop the flow as he gave Summer an almost apologetic look. He had never had first hand experience with Haven's compulsion Trouble but this was just as bad.

Summer met that apologetic smile with an understanding one of her own, having set all three shot out in front of Dwight by then and reached for two glasses as well.

"You're probably going to need a lot more than those shots today," she said, starting to pour from a bottle into the two glasses. "I don't know you enough to really get your drinking preferences down yet, but what good blue-blooded patriotic American boy doesn't like a hood whiskey, right?"

She set one of the glasses down with the shots, lifted the second one with a toast, and then down that one for herself with three quick gulps and a horrible face at the end.

"God!" she groaned in regret. "I am not as good at that as I wish I was! That's what I get for trying to look cool in front of newbs, I guess."

Dwight nodded and picked up the glass, returning the toast, fighting- and failing- to hold back a slight snicker as Summer sputtered after the drink.

"Sorry" he muttered with a grin and then lifted his glass and downed it with near expert ease. "When you experience bootleg moonshine... and survive, you can handle just about anything."

He set the glass down and looked at Summer suddenly compelled to add "and definitely do NOT ever try bootleg moonshine. Don't recommend it at all!"

so i'm going to be the next god.

Might as well start off with the big news, right?

Besides, it was always Truth Day in Lucifer's world.

good thing i'm atheist

Look, not even Truth Day could hold back a sharp and cutting sarcastic gem like that, okay?

for real, tho? that sounds like a lot.

Since being God in Lucifer's world actually, you know, meant something, instead of being, like, sort of a weekend gig when your family abandoned you on a floating space rock for a few days...

well i do have to get through the voting bit first but the alternative is my douchebag twin brother so

Lucifer was heavily underestimating what millions of years of slander had done to his reputation in Heaven.

voting for the postion of god? how very democratic of u all.

soooooooooo, she added, with, yes, that many o's because, hey, she had to compensate for trying to pull contextual clues out of text messages, which, sure, she was fluent, but no one was THAT good, how are we feeling about this next advancement in ur career? i mean, the work's gotta be pretty demanding but i'd guess the benefits are great!

~~Lucifer was about to handle this VERY WELL THANK YOU~~

well it does come with all the omnis, Lucifer texted. Which he was wary about, or would be, once he stopped being Lucifer Morningstar for just five seconds and remembered to think about it. Not exactly what I'd been expecting when I came back here, but, well, it's better than the alternative. For one I'm the only one around here with celestial leadership experience at all.

in my experience that doesn't really stop most gods, Summer pointed out. Sometimes all it takes is a toothpick

In case anyone in the bar right now was wondering why Summer was subtly going to spend the rest of the evening channeling up her previous Toothpicker phase by reaching over get one and place it firmly between her teeth.

but im proud of you? i think? idk what to say honestly, the whole god thing doesn't really seem to be your vibe? but i'm all for it and behind you 💯 if this is something you want

well Father has been making a mess of it for billions of years, at least I'd be able to fix some problems, Lucifer texted, optimistically. Sorry, toothpick?

yeah u remember that toothpicker phase i went through a while back? well apparently a toothpick's a good thing to have when going to rando planetoids, because it was literally the only thing that save me from these face-hugging brain parasite aliens that lived there. and since they couldn't kill me and their lives were literally just eating brains, shitting eggs, then DYING, they made me their god-empress. pretty sweet gig, ngl, but then my grampa and my brother had to show up and mess ip everything by being idiots with bad timing. like, we were LITERALLY about to launch our first rocket for interspace travel so i could get back home to earth because this was the weekend Barry was coming to meet my family and, yeah, being god-empress was the TITS, but i wasn't about to just let that make me ghost the BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME at dinner at my own parents' house, u know?

but yeah just because i had a toothpick.

and also because i was all 'but okay maybe let's not just shit eggs and die?' but the toothpick was pretty instrumental to the whole 'not dying so i could get to that pat' part

But don't let this little tangent lure you into thinking that Summer wasn't totally clocking you on how you hadn't really answered the question she was actually asking, Luce!

Edited 2021-08-11 17:46 (UTC)

Lucifer had totally answered the question!

Kind of. Sort of. Maybe not.

It wasn't like he had a history of launching himself into stupid kneejerk impulses to cover up the void of self-esteem in his soul, or anything.

right, so carry a toothpick, I need to write this down...

He was absolutely going to write that down.

its literally on your phone, Summer pointed out. Who actually writes things down anymore? Like with a pencil? God ur old.

You could practically hear the blink even through text.

ok that's a little weird now that you'll actually probably BE god

I'm not going to scroll through my WhatsApp history every time I want to find something someone told me, Lucifer retorted. ... But yes, update your exclamations and curses accordingly.

i probably won't

Because, well. You know. TRUTH.

but at least make sure it goes on a post-it note on your fridge. hot pink, obviously. and you might want to add to stay away from high-as-shit twenty-somethings in spaceships

Since, apparently Truth Day now translated into offering Lucifer unsolicited advice about being God based on her narrow and weird window of experience.

yes, i know that category includes me, but i guess that's a risk you gotta take now. i killed a god like that once. i didn't mean to kill him but i was....u know...high as shit, so.

mm, yes. did I tell you how my Father made Himself human a few weeks ago and almost got killed by a group of drug dealers?

That had been... something.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Caritas; Wednesday [08/11].

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject