fandomtownies | The Perk | Thursday Morning

So, Annie had spent the better part of a week as an energetic, friendly, blonde...dog. And while it hadn't been the worst (given that her personality aligned much better to 'golden retriever' than it had to, say, bat), she was still working on getting somewhat back in the swing of normal human things.

Like doing a normal human workout! And going to get normal, human coffee (with normal, human pumpkin spice in it.)

"So do you only give cups of whipped cream to dogs?" she asked the barista curiously, just, like, wondering.

And now she was going to go to a table with her coffee, chagrined by the look the barista gave her and not even bothering to go ahead and ask outright for a puppaccino for her normal, human self.

Even if it sounded really good, okay? This was probably more appropriate to sip on as she flicked through Citizen Starlight footage with one earbud in, anyway.

(And maybe she could make up with it by just ingesting straight whipped cream at home later, with only Diego to judge.)

[totally open!]

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"Well no," Eliot allowed with a small laugh. "The official title is High King Eliot the Spectacular of Fillory. But that doesn't translate as well in a town based at least nominally on American democracy."

"...yeah, you're right, because I'm a dumb American you just threw me for a loop," Buck said. "Gentleman of leisure is much less confusing, and a little more mysterious."

"And better suits the fact that I spent most of my time here not doing much of anything at all," Eliot agreed. "Which is quite a relief after spending the last while trying to save a country determined to do its best to run itself into the ground."

He shook his head.

"I'm an American too, by the way. Word to the wise, if a knife maker in a magical land out of a storybook ever wants to test your blood to see if you're destined to be royalty, turn him down. It's a much more frustrating and thankless job than the Windsors make it out to be."

Honestly, Eliot could have said Fillory was somewhere in Canada and he was the king of it and Buck would have believed him.

"...noted." He didn't think it would come up in his life, but he thought that about a lot of weird thing that ended up happening to him. "I generally say no when people ask for my blood unless it's like a Red Cross thing."

"An excellent policy. One that I clearly need to start practicing myself."

He was a self-sacrificing idiot under that shiny, urbane exterior, though, and likely always would be.

"So. Fire fighting. How'd you get into that?"

"Well after working in construction, the SEALs, being a ranch hand, and bartending didn't bring any joy to my life I figured, why not run into burning buildings for fun?"

Yes, he knew his résumé sounded like the rundown of a porn star's IMDB profile.

"Wow." Eliot was suitably impressed. "That's . . . a lot. Have a thing for adrenaline, do you?"

Oddly enough, adrenaline was one of the few addictions Eliot himself didn't have.

"That's a nice way of putting it," Buck said. "Others have said I'm an idiot with a death wish."

"There are plenty of idiots with death wishes who go about seeking it in far less . . . ambitious ways."

Did Eliot sound like he spoke from experience? Well. There were multiple reasons for that.

"So have you landed on something that works for you? Or are you going to try running with the bulls next?"

"I definitely found my calling." Although bulls could totally happen by accident. "Not that I'm doing it much here, but people keep telling me that this place can get weird. Looking forward to it."

"Ah yes, I've heard that, too," Eliot said. "And, well. I did spend a weekend as a ghost haunting the library not that long ago. So those rumors definitely have some weight behind them."

"Haunting stuff would be cool," Buck decided. "But I'd probably pick somewhere more thrilling than a library."

He'd feel bad about scaring a bunch of nerds trying to read.

"Well, reliving a bloody, horrible death was . . . not the coolest thing I've ever done," Eliot said. "But I suppose if I had to do it anywhere, it as better to do it in a place I'm already prone to dislike."

Because a) he wasn't a big reader and b) a giant interdimensional Library kept trying to screw over him and his friends.

"I don't know why I was picturing a whole Casper the friendly ghost thing." Because you were a human golden retriever, Buck. "That actually sounds pretty horrible."

"Probably because you're not from a universe run by cruel and capricious gods who value entertainment over people's lives," Eliot said, shrugging. "I've died any number of times so far, though,. At least now I know what it's like on the other side of those deaths."

The Perk | Thursday Morning

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