fandomtownies | Pizza Planet, Friday

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Pizza Planet, Friday

To call the capes a problem in the kitchen was perhaps to undersell the matter. Raiden was constantly checking the tail of his to make sure he hadn't managed to catch it on fire yet, since he couldn't seem to get rid of the thing.

He thought he was making it work, though, style-wise. Like a bro Dracula. He'd taken a selfie and sent it to Alastair, asking, What do you think? Twinsies with Konnar?

Alastair had left him on read. Typical.

Specials
Roasted Garlic, Spinach, & Chicken White Pizza
Four Cheese Garlic Pizza
Garlic Kimchi Pizza

For the record, if anyone was picking up a pizza for date night, two garlics totally canceled each other out, just sayin'.

Pizza Planet is open!

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"Kimchi pizza please," Steve said immediately.

Danny was going to bust through the door Kool-Aid man style one day to stop these orders.

"Comin' right up!" Raiden said cheerily. Why do you do these things to Danny, Steve? "You want anything to go with that? The garlic knots are coming out extra garlicky today for some reason." Mm. Garlic knots.

"Garlic knots sound awesome, brah," Steve said. "And a pepperoni pizza so Danny doesn't kill me."

"Why would he do tha--oh," Raiden said, nodding as he (thought he) understood. "One of those guys who can't go a meal without meat, huh?" Raiden did not count himself among this number as he would eat anything. It was just that most things would be better with the addition of bacon.

"He likes the classics and only the classics," Steve said. "And still hasn't forgiven me for the tuna melt pizza he ate when he was a cat."

"But I thought cats liked tuna!" His world was all askew, Steve.

"Me too!" Steve said. "Apparently he's pickier as a human than he was as a cat, where he liked that pizza fine."

"Maybe he just needs to expand his horizons to match his catself's," Raiden suggested helpfully, while using the word 'catself.' "He's missing out on some really good pizza."

That claim was often dubious, but sometimes one might be surprised!

Steve looked absolutely entertained by the word 'catself' and would definitely be putting it to use talking with Danny.

"That's why I come here every Friday," Steve said, nodding. "To expand his palate."

"That's so considerate of you!" Raiden told him. Yeah. Considerate was one word for it. "He clearly likes more stuff than he lets on, if he'd eat it when he was a cat. That's just science." Raiden might be unclear on how science worked.

Consideration, bone-deep need to troll, one of those!

"Exactly!" Steve, who understood science but also liked pizza and not disagreeing with the guy who provided it, said.

Raiden was possessed of a congenital inability to tell when he was being trolled. Just ask any of his brothers. So he nodded enthusiastically and said, "You're such a nice partner, Steve. And I'm glad to hear Danny's not a cat any more! That could have gotten awkward after a while, I bet."

"We will not be discussing the hairballs or the reckless destruction of my favorite coffee mug," Steve said.

Which had been a gift from his ex-girlfriend. Danny's catself was sneaaaaaaaaky.

Raiden winced. RIP, favorite mug. "Well, he was a cat. He didn't know what he was doing!" Someone didn't have much experience with cats.

He turned to check with the kitchen on Steve's order and somehow got tangled in his cape. "Not again!"

"I tried to run with it on this morning and there's only so many times you can pretend you're Really Strong Man Who Can Fly before it's just annoying, you know?" Steve said sympathetically.

"It kept trying to choke me at the gym," Raiden complained. "And it's a real hazard in the kitchen. But when you get it wrangled right it's fun to swish!"

"This is so much better than yesterday's thing," Steve agreed.

"Aw, I thought it was fun!" Raiden protested. "Of course, we had to close down the restaurant because stuff that wasn't pizza kept coming out of the ovens so we couldn't fulfill anybody's orders, but the mummy hot dogs were cute! And delicious." Because of course he'd eaten them. "Now, Wednesday I could've done without. Usually if all my clothes are covered in red stuff I at least know how it got there, y'know?"

Steve nodded. "I've gotten shot enough--" normal thing to say, Steve, "--to know it wasn't blood, but it was gross."

Nell came in with the tail ends of her cape carefully tucked into her skirt. She'd been ridiculously busy all week, so on her way home from doing errands she'd decided that she deserved a treat, which was to not have to cook her own dinenr - decadent though that was. The smells from Pizza Planet just smelled too good to pass up, so in she went.

She did stop and hesitate for a moment when she saw the very, very large man behind the counter.

The cape did not make him look any smaller.

Raiden beamed at her and said, "Hi, welcome to Pizza Planet! What can I get for you?" and then, after a moment, "Oh, tucking it in, that's so smart! Why didn't I think of that?"

He was large and his voice was very large and a part of her considered just backing out very quickly and quietly. But she gave herself a little talking to. She was a strong and sensible widder-woman and Fandom was a safe place and she could do this.

Plus she had a gun in her pocket if she needed it. Not that she'd use it. Unless she absolutely had to. And she certainly didn't want him to know she had it. Or about any of this, honestly.

And she really wanted pizza.

"I think maybe the four cheese garlic?"

When the rest of what he'd said registered, she managed a shy smile and said, "Well, takin' it off didn't work, so I thought maybe if I could just get it out of the way..."

If Raiden had known about the gun in her pocket he might have had some concerns, but mostly on whether that was proper gun safety. He didn't care for guns himself, but he knew that you had to be careful how you carried them if you didn't want to, say, shoot yourself in the leg.

It did not at all occur to him that someone's first reaction to him offering them pizza might be considering whether or not they should shoot him.

"Excellent choice!" he agreed. "You want anything to go with that?" He gestured toward the stack of regular menus, where she could peruse the ~~handwavey~~ side options typical to a pizza parlor if she so wished.

"I've been tryin' to keep this thing out of the way all day," he complained. "It's so risky around the ovens, but every time I take it off it comes right back!"

It was safely ensconced away, no worries. And it was just that her experience with very large men - well, none of them had ever been this cheerful, so probably he was as different from the churchmen as could be.

"I, well, I've never had anything from here, but pizza," Nell admitted. "What would you recommend?"

She hesitated, then said, "If I could?" And gestured to his cape.

Raiden couldn't remember the last time he'd been inside of a church, besides which he had been literally cursed by God before he'd ever been conceived in a 'sins of the father' type deal. So, yeah, probably about as far from the churchmen as one could get.

"Well, everything's good," Raiden told her. "The garlic knots are particularly garlicky today, or you might want a salad?" So she could pretend it was healthy. Some people did that.

He looked puzzled. "If you could...?" The boy was dense, okay?

Oh, many of those churchmen were about as far from saintly as you could imagine. Thus the nerves and gun.

"I guess the garlic knots?" she said. "Salad I can have anytime. I grow all the ingredients myself at home anyway."

Nell smiled shyly at him. "The... cape?" She gestured toward it again.

"Oh, I'd love to do that kind of thing, but I'm not--not good with plants," Raiden admitted. "Also I live in an apartment right now. But even back home, I spend too much time in the kitchen to tend to a garden." And there was the risk he would munch on the plants.

"Oh!" Raiden took it off and offered it to her, and a new one promptly appeared around his neck. "Aw, man."

"It's kind of my specialty," Nell said. "Plants and such. I just opened Plant Parenthood. Across the park a bit. Nell Ingram. It's nice to meet you."

When he handed her the cape she took it shaking her head. "No, no, let me." Very daringly she moved in closer and quickly tied up the ends of his cape before stepping back again even more quickly. "See now you just tuck and..."

"Oh! Thank you, that's so much better!"

Raiden's brow furrowed in confusion at the mention of Plant Parenthood. "I thought that was like a women's health thing...oh, I'm Raiden!" He offered one large hand, if she would like to shake on it. "Nice to meet you, Nell!"

"You're welcome," she said softly, then sheook her head. "No, no, someone uggested it and I thought it was a fun name and didn't find out till later that it was a sort of a... play on words, I guess, but I still liked it, so..."

Nell carefully shook his hand, though her grip was firm. "Raiden, hello. I must say. I do enjoy your pizza. I make my own sometimes, but somehow it's never quite the same."

Raiden's handshake was likewise firm but not crushing, because he wasn't an asshole. "Well," he said modestly, ducking his head a little, "I've had a lot of practice."

Because he ate a lot of pizza.

"Clearly," Nell said. "Some of those spices in the sauce... I just can't quite put my finger on them all."

"Oh," she said quickly, "Not that I'm asking for your secret recipe or anything. Just saying it's very good."

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Pizza Planet, Friday

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