fandomtownies | The Magpie Emporium, Monday [13/03]

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The Magpie Emporium, Monday [13/03]

Today when Vi came in the plushies were in quite a state of disarray, with the displacer beasts looking like they were tussling with the gelatinous cubes and the owlbears standing on top of the mimics.

She would've suspected the gremlins, but they seemed extremely caught up in their fungus game, and Saffron usually waited until Steph was around to see before making a mess.

[Who has two thumbs and caught an early screening of the D&D movie? Open!]

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In other words, the teamup absolutely nobody needed to happen.

"God, you dumbass," Steph laughed, clinging to Vi as she swayed a little bit on her feet. "You are, however, not at all wrong."

Well, Vi probably would've taken the grumbly, judgey lurking if it meant Powder was here, just all the other parts.

She scattered kisses over Steph's face. "Pretty sure I'm completely right, actually."

It was just the part where she and Saffron would inevitably egg each other on that would be bad. If Powder was here, it would mean Steph wouldn't have to worry about Vi leaving and maybe that was a little bit selfish but it would be good for them, too. She was convinced of that.

"Of course you are." That plushie mimic by the loose dice bin hadn't actually moved, right? It was just Steph's peripheral vision playing tricks while she was distracted by all the kisses. "Not like we don't have all kinds of evidence to prove it."

If Powder were here, then Vi wouldn't have to even think about the possibility of leaving, so if Steph was selfish that made two of them.

"Yeah, we do." It probably hadn't. It was the displusher beasts they really had to worry about. "Of course, it's probably best to be really thorough in gathering evidence."

As long as they could be selfish together.

"You know." Steph let one hand fall to Vi's hip and hooked her fingertips into her waistband, not worrying about any plushie mimics or adorable fuzzy tentacle kitties. "You could just say you want to spend tonight making out on the couch."

Sure, but what fun would that be?

They already were if you asked poor, neglected Saffron.

No fun at all. Well, except for the part where they made out. "You know, that sounds like a really good idea," Vi said nipping at Steph's lip. "I have a genius girlfriend."

Poor, neglected Saffron who was staying very determinedly on the other side of the room.

"I did think it sounded like a genius level idea," Steph said, grinning against Vi's lips. "And I will be implementing it, along with... what do we want for dinner? I was thinking either sushi, or something involving a literal ton of noodles."

Last time she'd come within reach Food Human had tried to snuggle her. The nerve!

"I mean, we can have sushi for dinner and noodles for breakfast." Steph wasn't the only genius in this relationship.

Food Human had no sense of cat boundaries! (To be fair, most humans didn't really, but Saffron had no interest in being fair here.)

"Because why have to choose when we can do both?" Steph just looked at her like she was awestruck by her brilliance. "Yes. Awesome. See, you just make all my good ideas better."

There was probably some AU where they were rocket scientists, that was how genius they were.

Saffron had one dedicated human for snuggles and Food Human kept stealing her attention.

Even if they were just fooling around (especially when they were fooling around), Vi liked Steph looking at her like that. "It's a skill I have."

It'd be more realistic than the ones where Vi couldn't count to ten with the aid of her fingers...

Food Human was so inconsiderate that way.

"See, more evidence that we're the best team," Steph said, the awestruck look not abating in the slightest.

Sometimes things that were ~~fanon~~ AUs were worse.

Stealing Snuggle Human like that!

Somehow Vi managed not to just pick Steph up and drag her to her office. Somehow. "We're just amazing like that."

The actual worst.

How was Saffron's beloved Snuggle Human supposed to live up to her name when Food Human kept doing this?

"Have I mentioned today that I love you?" Steph asked, beaming up at Vi as she reached up to trace a finger along her cheek.

She wasn't, and don't give her any of that "two arms" business. Saffron needed full, undivided attention at all times.

"Doesn't matter, I always like hearing it," Vi said, leaning in to kiss her again. "I love you too."

Two arms were barely sufficient, even!

"I will literally never get tired of hearing that either," Steph murmured several seconds later. "From you, specifically. You know, just in case you were wondering."

Saffron's life was deprivation and suffering.

"I wasn't," Vi said. "But now that you've brought it up..."

Only sufficient attention from Snuggle Human would make it better, but nooooooooo.

"Well, now you never have to lie awake at night wondering. I'm helpful that way," Steph informed her.

If only Food Human didn't keep distracting her...

"Expect now I'm going to wonder about all these other girls saying they love you," Vi pointed out. "Which is totally reasonable of them to feel that way, but still, rude."

Alas, Food Human was heartless and cruel and refused to stop doing that.

"Izzie did, and I ended up wishing she wouldn't," Steph admitted. "The next few girls I tried to date, I ended up pushing away. I guess... hoping to keep them from getting to that point?"

Jail for Food Human. One thousand years jail.

Vi tilted her head up to kiss Steph's forehead. "Guess I'm lucky I'm too determined to let you do that."

How many thousands of years of jail time was Steph supposed to serve in Saffron's book by now, anyway?

"It has never once crossed my mind to even consider doing that to you," Steph said firmly. "If there was ever any danger of that, it went right the hell out the window the second that fucking kid tried to make us forget we were ever even friends."

All of them.

"Good," Vi said fiercely. "Because that sucked."

Then how was she ever going to do anything ever again?

"Worst half hour of my life," Steph agreed with feeling.

Exactly! Though Saffron would graciously allow time out of her sentence to feed her.

"Yeah, it was up there," Vi agreed. "I'm just glad it didn't work for long."

Sure, but Steph also needed to have money to buy cat food, Saffron!

She slid her arms around Vi's waist and hugged her tightly, almost desperately.

"I still feel a little sick just thinking about it now," she admitted.

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