fandomtownies | The Beach [Wednesday morning]

Entry tags:

The Beach [Wednesday morning]

Max was not pleased about being on the beach today. Not because he didn't like the beach, but because he was pretty sure it was going to be a disaster.

He looked out over the water, pondering just how bad an idea this was. Really, he should know better than to let his pride push him into things. But after dealing with Anakin's idiocy last week, and then having Raven accused him of abandoning her, he'd been upset enough to agree to... well, this.

Well, at least there might still be time for the weather to turn bad. Maybe there'd be a tornado or a hurricane or something. Even if it didn't look remotely likely, this was Fandom, so it could totally happen!

But for some reason Max rather suspected it wouldn't.

[Expecting one, but open to anyone who wants to distract Max from the upcoming disaster... Or just hang out on the beach.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

For some reason Max doubted she was dealing with whatever had happened, at least not very effectively. But he let it go.

"Do you understand why I'm hesitant?" he asked instead.

Because Anakin was just waiting for an excuse to punch him again?

"Perhaps," she said, "but I would appreciate it if you would explain your reasoning to me so I can be certain I understand."

Max nodded. "Simply put: a situation in which a student's primary reaction to a teacher is fear is more often a detriment than an advantage. And when the goal is too teach emotional control... Well, the lack of trust can be dangerous."

Max paused to quirk an eyebrow, almost daring Raven to object and claim that she did trust him.

"I know you will not harm me," Raven said. Trust she couldn't entirely admit to, since Max was still tangled with the vampire in her head. "I will not allow my fears to get the better of me."

"You know I don't want to hurt you," Max corrected unselfconciously. He had hurt her after all. "Some part of you still expects me to do out again."

"Would Anakin ever hurt you?" he asked suddenly.

"Of course he would not," Raven said, almost indignant that Max would ask such a question. So Anakin had killed her once. Details, details.

"What about me? Would I ever hurt you?" Max knew the answer. He just wanted to drive the point home for Raven.

"You just said you would not wish to hurt me," Raven pointed out. As he was now, but not if he ever became like his other self.

"So you recognize that you trust him in a way that you don't trust me. Do you understand why that makes this both difficult and dangerous?"

Max was discovering that, to his surprise, now that he was here, he really only wanted to help Raven. Even if it was just to teach her this single lesson.

Anakin had never tortured her and twisted her gifts and addicted her to sensation. And even though it wasn't this Max who had done so, the fact that he could -- and even had taken advantage of that weakness -- made her hesitant. "I am aware, yes," Raven confirmed, inclining her head. "And I accept this."

"One last question, then." Max's eyes focused on Raven's face. "Can you stop being afraid for this? Not just suppress or ignore your fear."

"If you are afraid, then any lesson I teach will be tainted by that fear." And when the lessons were all supposed to be about controlling her emotions, that would defeat the purpose.

She forced herself not to flinch as she met his gaze. "I will not be afraid," she said. "I am stronger than that."

"Are you sure?" Max asked. Not condemning her, just... asking.

Raven nodded. "I am positive," she said steadily.

"Then we should probably begin. I think we should probably start with a lighter emotion. Do you have a preference?"

"I understand much more about emotions now than I did the last time you offered your aid," Raven said, gathering her tension and banishing it. "What I want now is to undo the damage that the vampire did to me."

Max considered that. "That makes sense. What do you see as the damage that was done?"

She really didn't like talking about it much, but being evasive wasn't going to help. "I sometimes find myself craving sensation," she admitted. "Pleasure or pain, it does not matter. They are one and the same."

"And why is that bad?" Max asked. There were reasons it might be, but he wasn't sure that this wasn't simply a knee-jerk rejection due to the bad memories she had.

"Because I do not wish to feel this way," Raven said, shaking her head. "It tempts me to steal feelings from others, and I do not wish to do that."

"Okay," Max nodded thoughtfully. "Are there other things you find yourself craving?"

"In Kaeleer, just a few days ago, I wanted to feel comfort so badly I almost ripped it out of someone I care for," Raven admitted. "I know it is a normal human need, but this desire was not normal."

Max pursed his lips. "Actually, I suspect that the desires you're feeling are normal. Especially for someone your age." And especially for someone who'd been suppressing emotional reactions for so much of their life.

"The difference is that you actually can do it if you don't stop yourself."

Raven shook her head. "I think I understand what normal desires are," she said. "And I did not feel this way before what the vampire you were in that world did to me."

That drew a quirked eyebrow. "And just how long had you been experiencing emotions when you encountered him?"

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject