fandomtownies | The Devil's Nest, Tuesday Night

Duke rolled his eyes. "I don't think I will, no. See, because when I'm being a sulky asshole, you call me on it. So I think I'll stay here and return the favor."

And there was Lucifer's answering eyeroll. "Tiny, get this man a drink so he'll at least shut up for five minutes," he said irritably.

"Bourbon," Duke ordered. Unnecessarily. Tiny knew his order by now. "Alright. What crawled up your ass and died? Because I'm thinking me joking around about you enabling me by ogling me on the beach can't possibly be all it is."

Oh, but it was entirely all about joking around about him enabling you on the beach, Duke.

... In the sense that that was about the millionth page in a very long book on Lucifer Morningstar's most crippling insecurities.

"Oh, it was joking around now, was it," Lucifer said, stalking about a foot away from him to go refill his whiskey.

"Yes," Duke said. "It was then, too. I don't do yoga so you can come look at me. And I don't need encouragement to parade around half-naked, either."

Lucifer poured a measure or two in his glass. "Could have fooled me," he snapped. "You people do love blaming me for your own actions. 'The Devil made me do it', etcetera. I'm not a monster, I don't want you to do anything you don't want to."

Well, that warranted drinking at least half the whiskey in that glass.

Duke managed to keep from pointing out that enabling was getting people to do what they want, even if it wasn't good for them. But only barely.

"Yeah, I know you're not a monster. Have you been stewing over this for a week?"

Shh. Don't be rational at the id-driven celestial with the rejection issues, please.

"I already told you I had an absolutely lovely weekend in Baltimore," he said irritably.

So, yes, he absolutely had been stewing over this for a week. Might've been over it by Friday night, unless it didn't stop wriggling its way into a lot of things that had happened over a year ago?

"Yeah," Duke said dryly. "I can tell. Look, man, my ex tried to kill me this weekend, so I'm not really in the mood to make another enemy here. I'm sorry my joke didn't land. Can we be cool?"

Lucifer poured himself another measure of whiskey before he answered that.

"Fine," he said, sounding a bit like a grumpy child.

"Good," Duke said, nodding. "Thank you." Tiny set his bourbon down in front of him and he nodded his thanks then took a big swig of his own. "So. Sorority girls. Sounds like a story to me."

Honestly, the gangsters before them was probably a better one, but Lucifer didn't exactly want to give Duke fodder to start digging about his quote-unquote deeper issues again, so he left that.

"It's not that complicated," he said. "There's this college bar for senior not far from campus. I may have accidentally misplaced myself there."

Another sip from his glass.

Then he finally turned back around, features smoothed over. "In a way I'm lucky they found me," he joked.

And since Duke had apparently managed to insult Lucifer while even joking about any issues the guy might have, he was extra not looking to try to dig into anything right now.

Really, between Duke overcompensating for his whole "compulsive fixer" thing and Lucifer overreacting to any perceived slight of his character, it would be a minor miracle if either of them managed to say anything of any importance to each other for the next six months.

"You might have had to go find some other group to party with," he said, lifting his glass in a little acknowledging toast before taking another (smaller) sip. "Man, I do miss my sorority girl days."

In Lucifer's defense, it was less 'overreacting to a slight of his character' and more 'irrationally jumping at the first sign two people he cared about were about to ditch him because he was secretly a terrible person'.

Chloe 'You're not the Devil to me' Decker had got him good.

"Been a while since I woke up in a dorm room," he mused. "And then they ganged up on me to make me play guitar."

“Yeah? You do Wonderwall for them?” Duke asked.

That song was about as old as Baby One More Time was.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "That Britney Spears cover is from a YouTube channel that does vintage covers," he said, "They were quite charmed by it, actually."

"I don't doubt it in the least. I'm pretty sure you could make anything charming."

"I was actually referring to the YouTube channel," Lucifer said, with a little wave of his drink. "But I was, yes. They were rather enthusiastic, before and after." Beat. "Even if one of them did make me play Taylor Swift."

"That better or worse than being made to play Counting Crows?"

"Well, she actually had sex with me afterwards," Lucifer said. "Weighs things a bit in her favor."

“. . . Yeah, I can see that.” Duke finished his bourbon. “I really don’t think you’re a monster. You know that, right?”

Lucifer set his glass down, and produced the opened bourbon bottle from the bar. "Yes, well, people aren't always as honest with me about something like that as they claim to be," he said. He held up the bottle, eyebrows up in a question.

Duke held out his glass with a little nod. "Humans can kind of suck that way, yeah. I try not to."

"But on that note," Lucifer said, tipping the bottle over Duke's glass, and congratulations, Duke, you were one of a few people who'd actually gotten Lucifer to pour them a drink in this club, gold star. "Let's consider this mess forgotten, shall we?"

Toss that brainweasel in with the others and put the lock back on that increasingly-difficult-to-secure vault, finally.

"Happy to," Duke said with a nod. "Just . . . maybe don't wait a week to tell me I'm being an idiot, next time, yeah?"

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