Mauvaise Chance Apartments - Early, Early, God Awful Early Saturday Morning

[hatesparadise]

It had been a normal, peaceful morning that was so early it was practically the night before still. If one wanted to be specific. Or if they were still constrained by the tyrant of time.

Then a piercing noise sounded throughout the building as a fire alarm went off.

Because why get a good night's sleep when you could be dragged out of bed to wait on the tiny, under-worked Fandom Fire Department to come make sure everything was fine?

[Open! Make those threads messy!]

Comments

[long_memory]

"Exactly," he said. "I'm impressed by the amount of people who managed to get fully dressed before leaving the building."

Actually some people didn't sleep naked, Silver. Which was actually a new thing for him, seeing as he had privacy for the first time in his life.

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"They wake faster than most, I'd say," Jaskier said. Because he was just wearing pants. And they were inside out.

[long_memory]

"You know, if I tried hard enough I'm sure I could have probably learned to sleep through the noise." The tree was nowhere near as comfortable as his bed.

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"If you are capable of that, you have more fortitude than I," Jaskier grumbled.

[long_memory]

"Well I also used to sleep on a ship," he pointed out. "Not exactly the quietest place."

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"...that I can see," Jaskier said after a moment. "My travel has not been nearly as noisy outside of moments where battle happens and sleep is very far from my mine."

Mostly because those other times he was the noisy one.

[long_memory]

"I'm having a hard time picturing you in battle." Of course the same could be said about Silver.

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"I tend to be an observer." Possibly in harm's way. Hiding behind better fighters.

[long_memory]

"Ah, I miss those days." Back when he could just hide in the bowels of a ship that was being attacked. "Don't ever let anyone know you're capable of holding a sword, they'll never let you be a coward again."

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"And ruin my lute calluses? No thank you."

Geralt learned real, real fast that Jaskier could not be trusted with a sword. You know, once he sort of gave into the fact that he was just gonna keep following him around.

[long_memory]

"That's the spirit," Silver said with a nod. "Don't let anyone talk you into heroics. It's a slippery slope."

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"My job is to sing about those heroics. Not engage in them." Where he could die!

[long_memory]

"Do you actually get paid?" he asked.

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"Oh yes," Jaskier assured him. "Though sometimes it's lodgings or food or even company in my bed."

[long_memory]

"You get paid in sex?" he asked.

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"I accept sex as payment," Jaskier corrected. Of course he did.

[long_memory]

Silver huffed out a laugh. "I wish I could say I was surprised but..."

[ohvalleyofpenis]

Jaskier shamelessly preened at that. "Perhaps you should take up an instrument!"

Learn to play the pirate equivalent of Wonderwall.

[long_memory]

"Oh, no. No, no," he said. "I am not suited to that. Or singing. Or dancing, for that matter."

[ohvalleyofpenis]

"Not even a gentle sway?" Jaskier had to ask since all his other options were being vetoed.

[long_memory]

"Not even the gentlest," he said. "Even before the leg."

[ohvalleyofpenis]

Jaskier huffed, giving him a critical once over. "I can still work with this."

He could not, but he'd try.

[long_memory]

"What, you'd teach me to dance?" That was the stuff fanfic was made of, Jaskier.