fandomtownies | Caritas - Friday evening [Open]

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Caritas - Friday evening [Open]

Jolee and Tino were stocking plenty of clean glasses behind the bar. This weekend meant family. Family meant drinking. It was a fact of life. It's part of the reason why Jolee never bothered with a family after breaking from the Jedi: he preferred sobriety.

The preparations ended when the door opened and Jolee felt an all-too familiar presence. "I'm sorry, Tino, but it looks like you're on your own tonight," he said, turning to face Revan. "We'll be in the lounge if you need me for anything."

[OOC: I'm totally cheating and making this a mod Tino night. As stated above, Jolee will be in the lounge if anyone wants to talk to him specifically.]

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"He said it's detachable!" Biff hissed. "And that was the last time I ever asked him about the sex life of angels."

Loki started laughing harder, concentrating on actually not falling off the stool.

"God, I wonder if he's ever misplaced it?"

"You've met him," Biff said. "I bet he's left it behind on a bus full of nuns or something."

"Probably be the first and last time they see one," Loki said. "They might have kept it longer than they were supposed to."

Biff howled with laughter at the mental image.

"I hate to be dirty," except he didn't, "but I'm sure that detachable penis got some good use from those nuns."

"Do you have to file paperwork if you lose one?" Biff asked, trying desperately to catch his breath.

"Like I would fucking know," he said and laughed. "I don't lose things that are important. That's your dumb friend's talent."

"I was watching the movie ~~The Wizard of Oz~~ That Chick From Kansas and always felt bad for the scarecrow, you know? When the monkeys were pulling all of his stuffing out, not one of 'em was waving around a hay schlong."

We had now entered the oversharing portion of the evening.

"Maybe one of them ate it?" Loki asked and made a face. "It looked like a sucker."

Biff giggled into his beer. "That poor guy."

"Pfft, he's a scarecrow," Loki said and waved a hand. "He can get a new hay dick. Stuff it inside his pants and act like he's the big man in the fucking field. All the lady scarecrows wanna bang him."

What?

Biff began working on yet another beer. "I guess out there size would matter," he said, "because you'd have to be pretty fucking lazy to not go for something supersized."

"Yeah, but that good witch was the only one working banging," Loki decided. "I mean, it was the munchkins or the wicked witch. And the wicked witch had monkeys. Just imagine how fucking kinky she must have been."

"No wonder Dorothy was so damn popular," Biff said. "Given the choice of drowning in pink or dealing with a cackling monkey fucker..."

"Hey, if I'd been in Oz," he said thoughtfully, "I'd have done her. On that fucking Yellow Brick Road if I had to."

"Niiice," Biff praised. "Excellent choice."

"Probably would've scarred the munchkins," Loki said. "Which, hey, more fucking fun for me. Those little shits were scary."

"Put my off lollipops for a week," Biff said, nodding.

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Caritas - Friday evening [Open]

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