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In and Around the Woods, Sunday Afternoon

The shadows didn't want to budge. They liked it here, and they liked their toys, and maybe they would like to reach out, sometime, and bring in more...

Because the island would let them do that, wouldn't it?

It would be oh-so-cosy.

[[ FINALE POST! ocd up. ]]

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"Didn't care about anything," Peter answered absently. He still felt a little guilt over his lack of caring for human life, but he would never regret killing those who'd sacked his home. "I was already living on borrowed time, and they'd gotten rid of everything I cared for before I changed."

He shrugged. "Didn't much care for the world-ending crap, either, but I didn't feel quite so useless." He gestured over at the lords of Hell. "Were they helping you, or just want to torture you more?"

The latter seemed more likely, but you never knew.

"Found out I was dying of cancer, so I sold my soul to all three of them seperately, yeah? So once I started to kick it... they all showed up to try and claim, realized none of 'em could claim it without fucking God stepping in, so they had to patch me up, good as new, and make sure I could keep ticking."

He grinned, taking a drag off his smoke. "So, helping, because they had to, making it hurt because they could."

"Nice," Peter said. "Mercenary, but...demons." He shrugged. The only way to get ahead was to play them off against one another.

He hung his head and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes. He didn't need to get into that mindset again. "Never want to see another demon again."

John paused for a moment. "Mate, I got some real bad news about where we are right now," he said, gesturing to their combined ghosts. "If those things aren't demonic, I don't know what is."

Peter gave him something that was half a smile, half a grimace. "I'm part demonic myself, as far as that goes. I just mean," he waved at the ones pulling John apart, "Them. The real ones."

Off to one side, he killed a woman. She was food. A man came next. Then two more women.

"Never want to see him again, either," Peter said firmly, looking away.

"Got more than a bit of demon blood in me," John admitted. "Figure it can't make me more spiteful than I already am."

"Come on over here, help me figure out all the ways to insult them that I missed, so I can use it next time. Gotta keep 'em mad so they don't think."

John cupped his hands around his mouth. "OI! None of you prats is anywhere near Lucifer's caliber! 'S why it takes three of you t' run the place, you can't keep up!"

Peter blinked and a laugh was startled out of him.

"That...is not a tactic I'd considered."

"Well I can't get my magic to work worth a shit, so public shaming is all I've got left," he replied, grinning. "I could critique my own decision making skills, but that's just fucking depressing."

"Yeah," Peter agreed. Then, to the images of the Fallen, "You got beaten by a mortal at politics? You're pathetic excuses for rulers!"

Hey, he was rusty; he didn't generally insult things.

"Oh, not just politics." John pointed at the First. "Him? I got him to drink Holy Water."

"So fucking stupid he couldn't even taste the difference between vodka and water."

"Seriously?" Peter gave the First an incredulous look. "I can't even get drunk, I spent the last thousand years in Hell, and even I can tell the difference! What an idiot!"

And then, because none of the human languages he knew seemed quite up to the task, he resorted to demonic to call the guy...well, it didn't really translate.

He'd be so embarrassed if he ever got called on this.

John barked out a laugh, because yes, Peter, he understood what you just said.

"And the other two didn't bother to check and make sure my soul wasn't already claimed when they made their deals," he continued, gesturing to the creatures. "Fucking rookie mistakes, ought not be allowed out of the Pit for it."

Of course he did. Peter still wasn't copping to it.

"I'm surprised they weren't torn apart for sheer stupidity. Actually, I'd be surprised if they ever managed to find their way out of a paper bag, let alone the Pit."

He turned to them. This was surprisingly therapeutic. "Seriously? An adolescent human knows better. You guys should've been replaced by a pair of teenagers! They'd be more scary!"

[This is awesome, but it's my bedtime. SP?]

Edited 2018-08-13 03:03 (UTC)

"Fuck, teenagers. Can you imagine if my library crew had all the powers of Hell at their fingers? The school would be in rubble every other month," John groaned. "And they probably would have been more creative in the torment department."

Nah, the Three had been plenty creative. But bitching made him feel better.

"Teenagers can be pretty scary," Peter agreed. "Demons...I mean, have you seen Pa-Bil-Sag? It's hard not to laugh."

It was harder not to throw up or scream, but Peter was getting the hang of this.

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In and Around the Woods, Sunday Afternoon

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